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If You Don't Raise Independent Children Now, You'll Hate Yourself Later

Updated on July 28, 2016

Children are taught from birth to depend upon parents and teachers and other authority figures for everything. While this is a natural process, many children never get pass this phrase while growing up. Many children are never taught to be independent. They are always looking for assistance and guidance or someone else to lead them through life. Often dependent people become a burden to those they depend upon, whether it is at home or on a job. They must always be told what to do. However, independence inspires freedom of choice, bravery, and new beginnings. Raising children to be independent minded will most likely alleviate such dependency problems later in life.

Benefits of Instilling Independence

Instilling a sense of independence in a child has several benefits. First, it relieves the parents from a certain degree of responsibility. If a child is irresponsible, the parents will most likely have to do everything for the child, including tying its shoelaces, washing its face and brushing its teeth and constantly reminding it of a number of things. However, an independent child who can do these things independently will eliminate such parental burden.


A child with a sense of independence will display confidence and fulfill the expectation of his parents whenever they call upon her. For example, parents with a 9 to 5 job will not be afraid to give the child a set of house keys in order to get inside after school. She will no longer have to wait upon her father or mother to come home from work to let her inside. Her parents want have to worry about her standing outside alone or in the rain of a wet day. This is the essence of the independent child.

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Right Choices

The thoughts of an independent child are not inhibited by the need to attain performing from parent when something important needs to be done. He will make the right choice if its in his power to do so. His thoughts will be guided by freedom, bravery and new beginnings. Such thoughts result in a feeling of joy and well-being. Parents can be proud of such a child because of the potential of making the right choices throughout life.

Opening Up to Trust: Daily Routines

An independent child will have a high degree of trust in themselves as well as the ability to make quality decisions. But in order for them to have trust,you must instill small degrees of trust in him or her first. Start out by trusting them to initiate and do small things that they have come to expect you to do for them. Far example, in the morning time, if they are small children, allow them to get dressed for school independently of your help and instructions. Make sure they know exactly what to do. Observe them and give pointers after they are done. When they have achieved independence in this area, reward them.

Making Financial Choices

Confident and independent children can make great financial choices. But first you must teach them about making and saving money. Help them discover ways to make money. In the summer help them set a lemonade stand, teach them how to sell flower and garden seeds in the neighborhood. Help them discover and fulfill the needs of their neighbors.


Cutting the lawn, washing the car, taking out the trash, or painting the neighbors garage are ways to make money in the neighborhood. Watch to see if they initiate a money making venture and save a portion of the money they make. Teaching children the importance of making and handling money enhances their spirit of independence.

Making Ethical Choices

Smart and independent children will make ethical choices in regards to people. However, you must teach your children to make ethical decision on their own. Discuss with them the right and wrong of a situation. Children must be able to make ethical choices early in life in order to effectively get through their adolescent years without going on a dangerous path. Watch them as the interact with other children and adults. Are they being respectful? Are they walking away from trouble or peer pressure? Give the the choice of independently choosing right from wrong. Reward them each time they refuse to follow the crowd.

Character and Leadership

A sense of independence in a child builds leadership, relationships and character, three things every parent can be proud of. An independent child gives you an advantage over those parents with lessor trained children. When a child is confident of who they are and what the can be if allowed independence, they will most likely make their parent proud of them when they become adults. Teaching children independence is investing in their future as wells as the future of their communities.

Encourage Confidence in Your Child


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    • jonnycomelately profile image

      Alan 4 years ago from Tasmania

      What about when that child's independence leads him/her into a walk of life that you disagree with? Do you still step back and honour their independence, with love?

    • gmwilliams profile image

      Grace Marguerite Williams 5 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Excellent hub. The most important gift parents can give their child is the gift of independence. When a child is independent, there is nothing that he/she cannot do and/or accomplish. Independent children evolve into independent adults who thrive in society.

      That is the problem with so many children today. They have overprotective parents who do everything for them. This cripples them psychosocially. These children also do not develop the prerequisite life skills to thrive in this society. Such children are more likely to be taken advantage of by stronger people. They are also more likely to become unemployed at some time of their life. Independence is an extremely valuable skills which has lifelong benefits for children.

    • jainismus profile image

      Mahaveer Sanglikar 5 years ago from Pune, India

      Useful information, thank you for sharing.