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- Parenting Skills, Styles & Advice
Raising a child alone
I know its not easy at all! But we have known single parents who have actually raised children happily as well as confidently. In fact few single parents are really happy to raise children alone without any help. May be because this way they get to do this their own way, without any obstacles. There may be no word such as "regret" in this single parent’s dictionary, which is really good! But an ideal parent is one who raises a kid confidently without caring about the obstacles that come ahead of him or her. Though raising a child alone may not be a difficult task for few parent, yet each of the cases have its own situations to be dealt with including circumstances, personal involvement and even capability to handle the situation.
Single parenting is about parenting done by a single parent, i.e raising a child or children alone, all by oneself.
Causes of single parenting
Though divorce is usual culprit for a single parent to raise a child all by himself or herself, yet there are few other causes of single parenting including
Death of one partner
Adoption of a child by single person out of his or her choice.
Obstacles faced by single parents
Unbelievable fact - Society still is known to raise eyebrows when they see cases of single parenting. Even when single parents are sure about being able to raise their kids alone, society still has doubts about it which is insane. What a society has to do when parent them are confident about single parenting.
Feelings such as anger, shame and hurtfulness
Blaming children for problems which have nothing to do with them
Hesitation and nervousness
How to raise a child alone
Now that you have taken the decision of raising the child alone then try and be positive about the whole situation. No wonder you may have to take certain steps, get some limitations, curtail your freedom a bit but still always remember that everything comes with its own definition of happiness and satisfaction.
Get rid of the hesitation
First of all if you have just made the decision of raising your child all alone then just shoo off all the hesitation and nervousness. Though it may get a bit difficult for you as well as your child to accommodate with this situation, one can’t deny the fact that time heals everything.
Allow the child to adapt to the situation
Most of the children are known to adapt to the situation around them. Though it may take a little time and you may find a child unhappy about the whole situation, still there is nothing about losing hopes as the same kid may come out just fine, just give him some time to adapt. Sometimes a child’s non-acceptance about the whole situation or the decision may bring lot of negativity in the single parent and the decision they have taken. But that is not the right thing to do. Finally a parent needs to understand that children are small and may not understand the whole fact, so its better to give them some time to think and adapt!
Speaking to a child helps
In most of the cases speaking to a child about the whole situation is avoided, and I really wonder why. Why a child is not told about the things that are going on within the family? A child has right to know everything that is going on between his parents, and then the child should also be allowed to speak his thoughts. Hiding reality from a child is wrong. When you speak to a child openly about the whole situation, they are assured that their parents don’t hide anything from them and thus they continue to trust you.
Assure the child that he is not the one to be blamed for the whole situation
In case if a child has any doubts about the whole situation, allow him to be open about it. Sometimes a child may blame himself or herself for the whole situation which parents need to totally avoid.
Don’t use your child as a weapon
Most of the single parents use a child’s support as a punishment for the other partner. Similarly kids are been asked to spy on parents or to made to hear their conversation. This is not the right way to handle the whole situation, as this may work in a harmful manner for your child. Also parent’s issue may work as a weightage or burden for a child who may not be able to bear it. It also may hamper the child emotionally.
Try to create a positive approach towards life for your child
So what if your marriage didn’t work out the way you dreamed! All does not allow you to decide that all the marriages would end up the same way. Don’t allow such negativity to hamper your child’s growth or depress your child. In fact help your child to create positive perspective towards life.