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Raising a child alone

Updated on October 4, 2011

I know its not easy at all! But we have known single parents who have actually raised children happily as well as confidently. In fact few single parents are really happy to raise children alone without any help. May be because this way they get to do this their own way, without any obstacles. There may be no word such as "regret" in this single parent’s dictionary, which is really good! But an ideal parent is one who raises a kid confidently without caring about the obstacles that come ahead of him or her. Though raising a child alone may not be a difficult task for few parent, yet each of the cases have its own situations to be dealt with including circumstances, personal involvement and even capability to handle the situation.

Single parenting

Single parenting is about parenting done by a single parent, i.e raising a child or children alone, all by oneself.

Causes of single parenting

Though divorce is usual culprit for a single parent to raise a child all by himself or herself, yet there are few other causes of single parenting including

Death of one partner

Abandonment

Divorce

Adoption of a child by single person out of his or her choice.

Obstacles faced by single parents

Unbelievable fact - Society still is known to raise eyebrows when they see cases of single parenting. Even when single parents are sure about being able to raise their kids alone, society still has doubts about it which is insane. What a society has to do when parent them are confident about single parenting.

Financial constraints

Time constraints

Feelings such as anger, shame and hurtfulness

Blaming children for problems which have nothing to do with them

Regret

Hesitation and nervousness

How to raise a child alone

Now that you have taken the decision of raising the child alone then try and be positive about the whole situation. No wonder you may have to take certain steps, get some limitations, curtail your freedom a bit but still always remember that everything comes with its own definition of happiness and satisfaction.

Get rid of the hesitation

First of all if you have just made the decision of raising your child all alone then just shoo off all the hesitation and nervousness. Though it may get a bit difficult for you as well as your child to accommodate with this situation, one can’t deny the fact that time heals everything.

Allow the child to adapt to the situation

Most of the children are known to adapt to the situation around them. Though it may take a little time and you may find a child unhappy about the whole situation, still there is nothing about losing hopes as the same kid may come out just fine, just give him some time to adapt. Sometimes a child’s non-acceptance about the whole situation or the decision may bring lot of negativity in the single parent and the decision they have taken. But that is not the right thing to do. Finally a parent needs to understand that children are small and may not understand the whole fact, so its better to give them some time to think and adapt!

Speaking to a child helps

In most of the cases speaking to a child about the whole situation is avoided, and I really wonder why. Why a child is not told about the things that are going on within the family? A child has right to know everything that is going on between his parents, and then the child should also be allowed to speak his thoughts. Hiding reality from a child is wrong. When you speak to a child openly about the whole situation, they are assured that their parents don’t hide anything from them and thus they continue to trust you.

Assure the child that he is not the one to be blamed for the whole situation

In case if a child has any doubts about the whole situation, allow him to be open about it. Sometimes a child may blame himself or herself for the whole situation which parents need to totally avoid.

Don’t use your child as a weapon

Most of the single parents use a child’s support as a punishment for the other partner. Similarly kids are been asked to spy on parents or to made to hear their conversation. This is not the right way to handle the whole situation, as this may work in a harmful manner for your child. Also parent’s issue may work as a weightage or burden for a child who may not be able to bear it. It also may hamper the child emotionally.

Try to create a positive approach towards life for your child

So what if your marriage didn’t work out the way you dreamed! All does not allow you to decide that all the marriages would end up the same way. Don’t allow such negativity to hamper your child’s growth or depress your child. In fact help your child to create positive perspective towards life.

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    • kerlynb profile image

      kerlynb 5 years ago from Philippines, Southeast Asia, Earth ^_^

      A great and useful hub for all single parents. This hub should remind them that being single is not a curse but a commitment. And just like all commitments, parenting should be an avenue for dedication, affection, and hard work.

    • Fellow Mumbaite profile image
      Author

      Fellow Mumbaite 5 years ago from India

      That's the whole intention about writing this hub...Single parenting too can come out as a success and work out positively for the kid. Thanks kerlynb for visiting!

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      Very nice hub. How right you are about so many things. Hope and honesty will keep you and your child on the right track. It is not easy, whether you chose to do it or it happened out of your control but as Kerlynb said commitment will make it a success. Voted up.

    • Fellow Mumbaite profile image
      Author

      Fellow Mumbaite 5 years ago from India

      Thanks tillsontitan, you are right about it. Commitment and honesty does work positive. Thanks for visiting!

    • EuroCafeAuLait profile image

      Anastasia Kingsley 5 years ago from Croatia, Europe

      Hello Fellow Mumbaite,

      Thank you for your frank and uplifting essay! You are not bitter - nor nostalgic. Life goes on. Thanks for looking on the bright side and giving your child a practical and positive tone for growing up in! I like your style!.

    • Fellow Mumbaite profile image
      Author

      Fellow Mumbaite 5 years ago from India

      Thanks EuroCafeAuLait..for stopping by and reading my hub!

    • profile image

      SarahBodo 5 years ago

      Single parenting can be really challenging. But once we accept it, there is always some joy in doing it. Thanks for your great tips....

    • Fellow Mumbaite profile image
      Author

      Fellow Mumbaite 5 years ago from India

      You are right SarahBodo, its really challenging and I wonder how single parents really manage it. But to tell you the truth they manage it pretty well and that too effortlessly.

    • karmicfilly profile image

      karmicfilly 5 years ago from Franklin, TN

      Glad to see the dialogue on this subject. I too will be posting on this topic soon as my daughter is now grown and on her own all because I was brave enough to do a great job. It is a huge committment but I have not one regret. Thanks for the hub.

    • LifeisLovely profile image

      Megan 4 years ago from Clearwater, Florida

      I found this hub very interesting. As a single mother it can be tough and I think you hit a lot of things right on. Voted up and followed.

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