Becoming A Mom As A Teen
Reasons Teens Get Pregnant
Girls there is no reason that you should ever consider having a child as a teen. There are too many long term ramifications (effects) for doing so. I know you feel you have good reasons to have a child, such as I have listed below:
- You have Peer Pressure (your friend have a child so you want one too).
- You are looking for love (want to have a baby to call your own to have someone to love you unconditionally).
- You rebel against your parents (you are anger or screaming for their attention).
- You want to hold on to a relationship with a guy (low self-esteem).
- You come from a generational cycle of family members that got pregnant as a teenagers.
- You think you will not get pregnant because it's your first time or you believe your partner will bring it out before anything is released inside of you.
- You have never been told by an adult how having a child as a teen will impact the rest of your life.
- You want a welfare check because others have made welfare look desirable.
All these are examples of a immature (a teen) mindset which is normal because you have not experienced life as an adult. Your hormones and emotions are all over the place (so-to-speak); they are ever changing. Parenting is for adults with a mature mindset, which you could not possibly have as a teen; and you are not suppose to. Your mindset changes as you develop mentally.
What You Should Know About A Teen Father
Teenage boys should not be fathers as they are not ready mentally. In many cases they are still in high school (where they should stay until they graduate), so they would not be prepared financially. There are some that believe they can sell drugs to support their child; which should never be considered an option. It is not a safe lifestyle for you, him, or the child. That could only end in him, you or both of you going to prison or getting killed. Where would that leave your child? It would leave the child without one or both parents. A child does not deserve that type of a lifestyle. This type of thinking is that of a immature mindset-- which is what each of you have as teens.
Teen boys are mostly acting on their raging hormones (their newly discovered sexual desire). They will often have sex with as many girls that will let them. You do not want to make this type of person a father as he is not ready on any level.
Facts About Having A Child In Your Teen Years
Know that having unprotected sex will lead to your getting pregnant before you have completed your education; which is a road to poverty (a poor lifestyle). You would not have the mindset or the financial capability to care for a child the way he or she should be cared for. You would be prone to a life of lack (not able to provide financially for you and your child). Should you decide to complete you education while being a parent; this would be difficult. You would be forced to work and attend school and this would take you away from your child for long periods of time. You would desire to have a social life as your peers and that would not be possible. You would have to pay a babysitter, which you could not afford. Sure babies are cute, but they are human beings (not dolls) that require a lot of responsibility. They require a lot of money and your time. A baby need parents with a mature mindset; which you could not possibly have as a school aged person.
Many girls go on welfare (receive a government check) which does not provide enough money to support you and your child, because it was not created to do so. Government Assistance was created to help in a time of hardship where you may become disabled or lose your job for a short period of time; not to live on for an indefinite (long) period of time. That is the reason you are required to graduate high school and perhaps college so you can get a job to support yourself. A teen father who did or did not agree to have a child with you in the first place and have not completed his education would not have the maturity or the financial capabilities needed to raise a child. When you decide to become a parent you should have all the capabilities to care for your child. This is why you should complete your education than get a good job before you decide to have a child.
The Ramifications Of Giving Up Your Child
When there is a unplanned teen pregnancy you are faced with hard decisions. Whether to keep your child? What are your options? Some decide to abort the pregnancy. Which in the long term may cause resentment if you were forced to do so or guilt on your behalf for aborting your child when you are older. Others decide to let a relative, a grandparent or another family member raise their child. There are times when the child is placed for adoption or placed in the juvenile system. Often the choice to let someone else raise your child will result in confusion for the child as he or she becomes a teen and even through to adulthood in the long term. The child as a teen or adult may become vulnerable (open to attacks mentally or physically by others). People want to know their biological parents even if they had the best of care as child. That doesn't mean they don't love the person or persons that raised them because often they do. Many times "you the parent" having given your child up for adoption will eventually want to know what became of that child.
I am not saying these situations will not eventually work themselves out. I'm saying many times these situations can be avoided just by thinking about the long term effects in the beginning; by taking every precaution to avoid getting pregnant as a teen.
The best way to avoid getting pregnant as a teen is to sustain sex until you have completed your education, developed in your thinking pattern, and preferably married. However, if your find that you cannot sustain (not have) sex. You should take every precaution not to get pregnant by carrying a condom at all times and making sure your partner uses it-- no matter what he says. Don't depend on him having the condom.....you have it. By using a condom you can protect yourself not only from getting pregnant, but from STDs. There are clinics where you can get birth controls. There are several forms of birth controls out there. I like the Depo-Provera (birth control shot). It lasts for (3) months at a time. Unlike the pill you would not have to remember to take it everyday. You would need to remember to renew the shot every (3) months. Hopefully, you have a parent, guardian or trusted adult you can speak with before you make the decision to begin using a birth control.
Keep in mind the teenaged boy your are having sex with has just began experiencing sex with as many that will let him. You are not prepared to be a mother and he is certainly not prepared to be a father (mentally or financially). Think long and hard about all the short and long term consequences of having a baby in your teens. You should not put an innocent child, yourself, or another in this predicament which could have been avoided. It may look as if your friends are doing okay with their child.....they are not. Having a child before you finish your education and have developed a mature mindset will delay or rob you of a prominent (remarkable) future. Don't deprive yourself of your youth by having a child too soon.