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6 Factors That Influence Youths Opinions On Relationships & Sexual Behaviour.

Updated on June 15, 2015
Mason Shade profile image

Mason Shade has diplomas in Holistic/Western Medicine, CBD Medicine, Advocacy, Mental Health, English Language & Literature, & Social Media.

Why Is Sexual Education Important?

Recently The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, disclosed their new program for the new education system called “Making A Difference”. This program has a section that covers a vast list of adult behaviors; holding hands, hugging, kissing, dancing, massage, sexual fantasies, fondling, masturbation, and all forms of intercourse. This caused quite the Facebook debate. So today I have decided to break this discussion down into the 6 main factors you need to consider before you make any claims or assumptions about this program.

In Canada Premier Kathleen Wynne is creating a similar sexual education program for 2015.


Source

Consent In Canada has become a popular issue with petitions such as https://www.change.org/p/ontario-ministry-of-education-make-consent-a-topic-in-the-2015-ontario-health-curriculum
The current Ontario Health Curriculum is being used in schools was created in 1998! So much has changed since then and this outdated curriculum does not include anything about consent. It teaches abstinence instead of properly teaching comprehensive sexual health education that includes safer sex and the importance of consent during sex. The entire curriculum is 222 pages long and does not include a single thing about affirmative consent. Check it out here: http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/…/curr…/elementary/healthcurr18.pdf

Now before starting, some of who you might be saying, "Well it is should not be the school system's job to teach this, instead it should be the parent's job." However, since studies have shown that in some cases for numerous reason, whether it be because of religion, comfortableness, lack of parental involvement or naivety on the parents, it is not always taught at home, therefore it is a law that it be a part of the education system. As we all know knowledge is power, not ignorance.

Do you want your childs first impression of sex to come from a 18+ movie?

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Factor 1: Movies

As a child (grade 8 or 9) did you ever watch a movie above your age rating that your parents did not know about? 90's kids sure did, we snuck into different movies than we had paid for at the movie theater or we watched a movie at friends either on the movie network, PPV channels, parental or older siblings movie collection. There is sexual content in every horror, 18+ comedy, action, and drama. Take into account these collections; Porky's, Monty Pythons, National Lampoon’s, American Pie and Scary Movie. All of these contain graphic sexual content and have come out over the last 20 years. Think about how movies and sexual content will evolve in the next 10-20 years. Do you want your child’s first impression of sex to come from a movie like the ones listed above?

Factor 2: Television

When the 80's generation were kids there was not that much sex on TV, it came later when in mid 1990s, the networks started allowing soft-core to be shown in the wee hours of the night. Shows like Baby Blue and The Red Shoe Diaries, even Teletoon played Hentai at like 2 a.m. in the 1990s. Now were children allowed to watch them? No. But does that mean they did not see them? No. As a kid, if you really want to rebel, you are going to. This can be as innocent as sneaking downstairs to just channel surf and yet come across these shows and see scenes of simulated sex acts, very graphically I might add.Now fast forward about 15 years and we have shows like true blood, game of thrones, Spartacus and the real world where sexual content and adult themes are a part of every episode. Now we also have these shows, late adult shows on at like 10 pm EST but just as we all did, our children can sneak down stair and watch the latest episode at 1 or 2 am EST when their parents are asleep or catch it on their cell phone, iPods, tablets streaming from the cable network’s website. This also does not cover the parents who owPVRs and PVR these shows for themselves and then the show on the PVR system for an extended time where the children have the access to watch while they are alone if the parents haven't set up any security.in the 1990's. Now were children allowed to watch them? No. But does that mean they did not see them? No. As a kid, if you really want to rebel, you are going to. This can be as innocent as sneaking downstairs to just channel surf and yet come across these shows and see scenes of simulated sex acts, very graphically I might add.Now fast forward about 15 years and we have shows like true blood, game of thrones, Spartacus and the real world where sexual content and adult themes are a part of every episode. Now we also have these shows, late adult shows on at like 10 pm EST but just as we all did, our children can sneak down stair and watch the latest episode at 1 or 2 am EST when their parents are asleep or catch it on their cell phone, iPods, tablets streaming from the cable network’s website. This also does not cover the parents who own PVRs and PVR these shows for themselves and then the show on the PVR system for an extended time where the children have the access to watch while they are alone if the parents haven't set up any security.Now were children allowed to watch them? No. But does that mean they did not see them? No. As a kid, if you really want to rebel, you are going to. This can be as innocent as sneaking downstairs to just channel surf and yet come across these shows and see scenes of simulated sex acts, very graphically I might add.Now fast forward about 15 years and we have shows like true blood, game of thrones, Spartacus and the real world where sexual content and adult themes are a part of every episode. Now we also have these shows, late adult shows on at like 10 pm EST but just as we all did, our children can sneak down stair and watch the latest episode at 1 or 2 am EST when their parents are asleep or catch it on their cell phone, iPods, tablets streaming from the cable network’s website. This also does not cover the parents who own PVRs and PVR these shows for themselves and then the show on the PVR system for an extended time where the children have the access to watch while they are alone if the parents haven't set up any security.

Factor 3: Music

Around 1999/2000 D12 purple pills album was the big hit that year.Listeners could be shocked at the unedited lyrics, from tracks such as; “pimp like me” that talked very graphically about sex, in every detail, unimaginable details. You would have to listen to understand it, fully. When we teach kids about real sex vs mediatized sex, they will now have the knowledge they need, leading them to make the right decisions. They will know the difference between expression and art v.s. shock and actual reality. I did not make these artist false idols. However, some kids do, with artist like Rihanna, Britney Spears, who sing about sex and parade their bodies, give some kids the impression that's how you get boys to like you or that is how girls should act. Again, these are grown women who have the right to express themselves. We as adults know that, do children? Only if their parents take the time to listen to these songs, watch these music videos and explain what “ Rihanna's -S&M” and “ Britney's - I'm Slave 4 U”, really are about. It is written by 5 people, put to a catchy beat, meant to utilize sex in order to gain more profits and in no way a portrays the reality for these young women.

Factor 4: The Adult Etertainment Industry

With the evolution of media, the adult entertainment industry has become increasingly more accessible in the last 20 years, to a point it is outstanding. When I was young I remember we only had XXX VHS, Magazines and "novelty" Playing Cards or other miscellaneous items. Now in 2014 we have all those things listed above plus websites of free adult (18+) clips, live webcams, chat rooms, sex chat rooms, and dating sites. These are not in any way filtered or watched. All it takes to access, these websites is your child being smart to lie and click that they are above the age of 18. I would say most grade 7s, 8s, and older are smart enough to figure this out.

Factor 5: The Internet

When I was a child, even as a teen in the late 90's, early millennium, you could go on the internet and not be bombarded with Pornographic images. Now 10+ years later I cannot click on a single website (not aimed at toddlers or middle schoolers homeworker helpers) without getting a popup or side ad displaying something either sexual or adult themed. With all the websites out there, your children have access to download any movie, shows, pornography or song they hear about. They can live stream millions of different cams on numerous websites, we have seen suicides, murders, live sex all take place on these cams and sites. They can also live stream any show from the internet either through the cable network itself or a third party website. With the cell phone, tablet and computer technology in 2014 it's nearly impossible to monitor all your child’s habits on all devices.

Factor 6: Friends

Now even though you monitor your child’s habits and you think you know their friends and their friends' families the truth is we never truly know people. We know what they allow us to know. Your child is at risk of seeing the things listed above of at a friend's house or having sexual discussions amongst friends. Do you want your child to get advice like “Well, maybe Riley will make you his girlfriend if you give him a b***-**b or let him put it in your a**, it’s not like you would be losing your virginity or at risk of pregnancy and we all know that what boys want.” I would never want my child to consider this as actual advice, but without teaching them to respect themselves, their bodies and their minds along with proper in depth sexual education they are at risk for falling prey to lies, myths, and pressure. Which in turn, puts them at an insane risk for STD’s and other health issues.

Peers

Now we move on to peers, yes, peers are different than friends. Sometimes the pressure isn’t from a friendly source, it in fact, can sometimes come from your child's worst enemy. Think about the shy, quiet girl who gets teased as she walks past “You know why no one likes her, because she is a virgin, thinks she is too good to give it up to anybody, what a prude.” Or the boy who is not comfortable with himself yet, so he doesn't try to have a girlfriend “what are you gay? do you like guys? Are just too scared to go for (P***y)?.” These statements can lead to your child boy or girl getting drunk or just plain vulnerable, than becoming intimate with the wrong person, by either losing their virginity or doing other sexual acts, with a person they don’t care for or possibly don't even know.

Potential fears for the parent?

As a parent, I understand the fear of telling your child things before they are ready, but as a person who was once a child, I am glad I was prepared at a young age for these types of remarks, movies, songs, shows, and pressure. I as a Mother would much rather have my child’s first description of these sexual behaviors and acts come from me. A loving, educated source that truly has their best interest at heart. Once they hit puberty they can't help, their sexually fantasize and will have them regardless anyway. Now some parents hear things like sexual fantasies and invasions a scene from nine and half weeks or 50 shades gray, but a 12 or 13+ years old does not have those fantasies they have the simple ones “I wonder what it's like to make out?”, “I wonder what the opposite sex looks like naked?”, “I wonder what sex feels like?” It's all perfectly normal and it is all part of the human evolution.

Final thoughts

Even if you disagree with these sexual behaviors being talked about at school, one way or another your child will become exposed to them. The question is, what do you want their first impression to be? Yours? Their friends? Peers? Or The Media? I know my answer and it's ME. I want my kids to know they can talk to me about anything with no judgement, assumptions or ridicule.

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