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Snot-Gobbler Season Alert
It does not really matter whether you live up in the Northern Hemisphere or down low in the Southern Hemisphere there comes many a time throughout the year when parents (and grandparents for that matter) have to be extra diligent and alert.
Because of it being Snot-Gobbler season, that's why.
That dreaded time of the year, usually during the seasons of Autumn, Winter and Spring when the mean and nasty Snot-Gobbler Gremlin awakens from his/her Summer-time slumber and gradually takes a firm hold on the youngest member/s of your family.
No living human being likes the Snot-Gobbler season and no person in their right mind would want to be known in their community as being the parent or grandparent of a Snot-Gobbler Child!
It is every parent's nightmare or at least it should be because there is nothing sweet and nice about a Snot-Gobbler Child.
A Snot-Gobbler Child will constantly whinge and whine and moan and groan and nothing you do or say can ever please them. The Happiness Fairy ceases to exist when the Snot-Gobbler Gremlin comes out to play.
It takes a brave person to want to look at them as Snot-Gobblers are by no means the prettiest things that you have ever seen with their sleep-deprived, rubbed-red-raw, watery eyes and their very distinctive ruby-red colored nose which magically seems to blend in with their ruby-red cheeks.
It takes an even braver person to want to hold and console a Snot-Gobbler.
I warn you now, this is certainly not a task for the weak, feeble and faint-hearted amongst us as nobody, even those amongst us with years of experience in dealing with the Snot-Gobbler Gremlin likes to tackle the horribly gross task of cleaning up the mess left behind by a child showing the signs and symptoms of having been snot-gobbled.
I kid you not that cleaning up the cast-off residue left behind by a Snot-Gobbler will take nothing short of extreme strong willpower and cast-iron guts.
So with this in mind, always do as a Boy Scout or Girl Guide would do and 'be prepared' be very prepared with an armoury of tissues, tissue boxes and handkerchiefs at the ready.
Make sure that your reflexes are up to scratch as you will definitely be needing these to dodge the icky-sticky yukky goobly gook that the Snot-Gobbler Child will send your way.
Kid you not, this is some powerful stuff, so horrible that I have even seen full-grown adults dry-retch at the sight of this gooey substance.
So what is a Snot-Gobbler Child I hear you ask?
Just picture this ... your beautiful pride and joy so full of cold and flu that the snot-gobblers goob pours out from practically every extremity possible but mainly from the nose and mouth.
You are driving along and you hear a gawd-almighty A-CHOO coming from the back seat of the car so you glance briefly into the rear vision mirror only to find the love of your life covered with drippy, oozy green gunk all over them, their car seat and the back of your car seat.
Or you are in a crowded shopping line and it is finally your turn at the checkout cash register and you are almost halfway through emptying out your trolley full of groceries only to have your pride and joy once again present you with an offering of slobbering snot-gobbler gook. You move at the lightening speed of an Olympic athlete to attend to your precious one whilst apologizing to all in sundry for the mess made when over the public address system you hear the announcement ... 'mop and bucket aisle 6 please'. Red-faced from embarassment you pray that the shop floor will just open up and swallow you and your little snot-gobbler.
You are running late for work, an appointment, etc, etc and your babe in arms whom you are actually carrying decides to let one rip and goozey all over your dark-coloured shirt leaving shiny snail trails for all to see as you do not have any time to get changed or you do not have a change of shirt to get changed into.
But nothing comes even close to the snot-gobbler preschooler child who decides that making friends with the Snot-Gobbler Gremlin is the bestus fun that any child could have and so they set about playing their favourite childhood games of 'see how far you can stretch out the goobly gook gunk' or 'gee this sticky stuff tastes really good, so good in fact that I need to dig out some more'.
So folks, the time has come for me to say cheerio.
I will be leaving you all with the most cherished picture of a mucus dripping Snot-Gobbler youngster in your head, knowing that every time you come across such a delightful sight that you will remember reading this particular Hub and you will, I promise you, have a smile on your face!
BTW - If you have not finally guessed by now SNOT-GOBBLER is Aussie slang for a mucus-filled, snot dripping out everywhere youngster ... just gotta love it!