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Snot-Gobbler Season Alert

Updated on November 17, 2015

It does not really matter whether you live up in the Northern Hemisphere or down low in the Southern Hemisphere there comes many a time throughout the year when parents (and grandparents for that matter) have to be extra diligent and alert.

Why?

Because of it being Snot-Gobbler season, that's why.

That dreaded time of the year, usually during the seasons of Autumn, Winter and Spring when the mean and nasty Snot-Gobbler Gremlin awakens from his/her Summer-time slumber and gradually takes a firm hold on the youngest member/s of your family.


No living human being likes the Snot-Gobbler season and no person in their right mind would want to be known in their community as being the parent or grandparent of a Snot-Gobbler Child!

It is every parent's nightmare or at least it should be because there is nothing sweet and nice about a Snot-Gobbler Child.

A Snot-Gobbler Child will constantly whinge and whine and moan and groan and nothing you do or say can ever please them. The Happiness Fairy ceases to exist when the Snot-Gobbler Gremlin comes out to play.

It takes a brave person to want to look at them as Snot-Gobblers are by no means the prettiest things that you have ever seen with their sleep-deprived, rubbed-red-raw, watery eyes and their very distinctive ruby-red colored nose which magically seems to blend in with their ruby-red cheeks.

It takes an even braver person to want to hold and console a Snot-Gobbler.

I warn you now, this is certainly not a task for the weak, feeble and faint-hearted amongst us as nobody, even those amongst us with years of experience in dealing with the Snot-Gobbler Gremlin likes to tackle the horribly gross task of cleaning up the mess left behind by a child showing the signs and symptoms of having been snot-gobbled.

I kid you not that cleaning up the cast-off residue left behind by a Snot-Gobbler will take nothing short of extreme strong willpower and cast-iron guts.

So with this in mind, always do as a Boy Scout or Girl Guide would do and 'be prepared' be very prepared with an armoury of tissues, tissue boxes and handkerchiefs at the ready.

Make sure that your reflexes are up to scratch as you will definitely be needing these to dodge the icky-sticky yukky goobly gook that the Snot-Gobbler Child will send your way.

Kid you not, this is some powerful stuff, so horrible that I have even seen full-grown adults dry-retch at the sight of this gooey substance.


So what is a Snot-Gobbler Child I hear you ask?

Just picture this ... your beautiful pride and joy so full of cold and flu that the snot-gobblers goob pours out from practically every extremity possible but mainly from the nose and mouth.

You are driving along and you hear a gawd-almighty A-CHOO coming from the back seat of the car so you glance briefly into the rear vision mirror only to find the love of your life covered with drippy, oozy green gunk all over them, their car seat and the back of your car seat.

Or you are in a crowded shopping line and it is finally your turn at the checkout cash register and you are almost halfway through emptying out your trolley full of groceries only to have your pride and joy once again present you with an offering of slobbering snot-gobbler gook. You move at the lightening speed of an Olympic athlete to attend to your precious one whilst apologizing to all in sundry for the mess made when over the public address system you hear the announcement ... 'mop and bucket aisle 6 please'. Red-faced from embarassment you pray that the shop floor will just open up and swallow you and your little snot-gobbler.

You are running late for work, an appointment, etc, etc and your babe in arms whom you are actually carrying decides to let one rip and goozey all over your dark-coloured shirt leaving shiny snail trails for all to see as you do not have any time to get changed or you do not have a change of shirt to get changed into.

But nothing comes even close to the snot-gobbler preschooler child who decides that making friends with the Snot-Gobbler Gremlin is the bestus fun that any child could have and so they set about playing their favourite childhood games of 'see how far you can stretch out the goobly gook gunk' or 'gee this sticky stuff tastes really good, so good in fact that I need to dig out some more'.


So folks, the time has come for me to say cheerio.

I will be leaving you all with the most cherished picture of a mucus dripping Snot-Gobbler youngster in your head, knowing that every time you come across such a delightful sight that you will remember reading this particular Hub and you will, I promise you, have a smile on your face!


BTW - If you have not finally guessed by now SNOT-GOBBLER is Aussie slang for a mucus-filled, snot dripping out everywhere youngster ... just gotta love it!


This Hub was Gold!
This Hub was Gold!

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    • profile image

      Atticot 

      16 months ago

      Snot-gobbler is my new favourite word. I'm gonna go around and call people that, regardless of whether they are young or not. I thought the hook was great. I'm from Australia, and I was intrigued about what the 'interesting name' was. This story was so entertaining. I feel bad at laughing at sick children. Anyway, I really liked your descriptions. Your style of writing was clear and I could imagine the scenarios very clearly. They were super fun and hilarious. Particularly, the supermarket scene. I can relate. I've seen my little sisters get sick, and they start sneezing all over the place and in public, we get so many dirty looks. Nice, entertaining story. It was funny and the descriptions were vivid. Thank you for sharing!

    • Kathryn Stratford profile image

      Kathryn 

      5 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

      Wow, that was gross and funny all at the same time! I have never heard of the term "snot gobbler", but it is definitely a graphic description I will remember!

    • profile image

      UrsulaRose 

      5 years ago

      You certainly have had a wonderful array of comments left for you Kanga. I am sure that your ol' mate Bill will be proud!

    • Bonsie007 profile image

      Bonsie007 

      5 years ago

      Wow! Then that means I'm surrounded by these snot-gobblers 4 days out of every week! I'm a bus monitor for headstart. 3 and 4 year olds! I have to arm myself daily with tissues and hand sanitizer! Love my job though!

    • profile image

      Vickiw 

      5 years ago

      Disgustingly hilarious. Lucky I haven't had breakfast yet ( northern hemisphere, yay! ) This is a guaranteed stomach turner. Brings flashbacks to classes of small children, all of whom seemed to have snot gobbleritis. Talk about PTSD! See you in my dreams now!

    • LadyLola profile image

      Lanie Robinson 

      5 years ago from Canada

      Most disgusting of things, blechhh. I always hate those home videos that parents are so proud of that feature their horrible toddlers sneezing out gobs of goo. I wonder, how is that funny or even entertaining? I didn't enjoy this yuckiness in my child and I definitely don't enjoy it in other peoples children. Thanks for the laugh!

    • kj force profile image

      kjforce 

      5 years ago from Florida

      Kanga..That was am hilarious take on flu season..I am still chuckling as I write...

      but..wait there's more..being retired from the medical field there is another family member called the " Snot Gobbler Gremlin and his cousin Juicy Poops" together they reek havoc on even the strongest "constitution"....enjoyed your write very much..I can relate to your words..look forward to reading more of your hubs...thanks..

    • old albion profile image

      Graham Lee 

      6 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Kanga. I had no idea what a snot gobbler was, until near the end and all was revealed. Yes, you raised the smile .Well done. Following.

      Graham.

    • DrMark1961 profile image

      Dr Mark 

      6 years ago from The Atlantic Rain Forest, Brazil

      It was enough to imagine, don't think we need photos!!!!!!!

    • profile image

      Miss Kate000 

      6 years ago

      Well done, and i totally agree! I hate winter simply because it truly is sick season.

    • billd01603 profile image

      billd01603 

      6 years ago from Worcester

      KangaYankeeDo. Funny and well written Hub. Having raised two boys I can understand your Hub! Hilarious, voted up!

    • Cathleena Beams profile image

      Cathleena Beams 

      6 years ago from Lascassas, Tennessee

      Okay - This reminds me of my kids game of "Grosser than Gross". I could top anything they ever came up with this hub. I was chuckling throughout this - couldn't help myself. Yucky and funny!!! Voted up and shared!

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 

      6 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      Great hub! :) Sharing this as per Angela's "Hubber Alert" hub. :)

    • Angela Brummer profile image

      Angela Brummer 

      6 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

      I have four that went through being Snot-Gobblers. Imagine how many that may multipy into? Such a very funny take on a slimmy issue!

    • KangaYankeeDoo profile imageAUTHOR

      KangaYankeeDoo 

      6 years ago from Austrailia & America

      I did think about adding a picture or two of a Snot-Gobbler but then thought not and that I maintain an 'air of mystery' about it by leaving it up to the reader's imagination.

      Just imagine the sights they will conjour up all on their own. Unless you have said photographs that you can share with me. %-)

    • goody7 profile image

      goody7 

      6 years ago from over there under the sycamore tree

      Thank you Kanga for the seasonal alert. You have even managed to make humor about the common cold, which everyone comes face to face with more often then they wish. LOL The only thing missing that I and other readers would really like to see, if it's at all possible, is a picture of what the legendary Snot-Gobbler might possibly look like :)

    • KangaYankeeDoo profile imageAUTHOR

      KangaYankeeDoo 

      6 years ago from Austrailia & America

      I believe you may just be correct about that UrsulaRose, but I'll have to double check that. Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. This may possibly just be another idea of a hub for someone out there :)

    • profile image

      UrsulaRose 

      6 years ago

      Correct me if I am wrong Kanga but don't we have a tree/shrub in Australia called the Snotty Gobble or Snottygobble something along those lines.

      Although I have never seen one up close, I am guessing that it must somewhat resemble the Snotty Gobbler Child you talk about for it to be given such a weird name?

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 

      6 years ago from Minnesota

      EEW-Great sense of humor on a gross subject of ooey gooey snot. I hit many buttons on this funny piece.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      6 years ago

      Your description of this seasonal symptom is so hilarious. You made me laugh while reading this truthful fact.

    • TheHoleStory profile image

      TheHoleStory 

      6 years ago from Parsons, West Virginia

      You definitely out done yourself with this hub Kanga. You just proved it's never too late to learn something new in this life, especially when it comes to the hub pages. On this side of the world the cold weather has temporally left us, which I do miss, and the lows today are expected to be in the lower 90's. No runny noses in these parts. Can't wait for your next brilliant hub to come out.

    • profile image

      UrsulaRose 

      6 years ago

      Just love it Kanga mate!

      It is definitely Snot-Gobbler season DownUnder. Keep up the fabulous hub-writing although my cheeks are hurting from laughing so much. :)

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