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Starting a Family, Having Children for the Right Reasons?

Updated on April 30, 2011

Are We Sure LAbout This

When women have children for the wrong reasons, it is a terrible way to begin a family. Many more times than we are aware of women have children and start a family, and years of dysfunctional lifestyles go on behind closed doors. Many times when a young family begins dysfunctional, the parties involved carry this dysfunction on for years and years, completely unaware of what they have done or why they did it. Many times, just like young children, young families continue with these family standards, thinking that everyone family begins like theirs did, and it isn't until much later that it is realized how far off they were.

Why I had a Baby

Sometimes the whole basis for beginning a family is started for very wrong reasons, and when this happens, the family unit it doomed, unless professional help is gotten right away. Often women will have a baby for the sole reason of trapping a man into marriage. Another similar reason is because the husband and wife are having problems, and the thought that bringing a child into the mix will bring the couple together. Nothing could be further from the truth, and most of the time this scenario ends in straight disaster.

A child should only be brought into the family unit because the man and women want to have a larger family and are ready, both financially and emotionally, and after lots of communication between them.

I have known women that have kids for some off the wall reasons. A common one is because the mother has not been given the opportunity to live out her dreams, therefore has kids to live through, making them do the things the mom wished she had done. Another common and disastrous reason is because the mother failed badly with the first child or two, and has more just because she is sure that she is so much smarter now and has the ability to do it right. Rather like a second chance, but children should not be second chances for messed up parenting.

Parents have been known to have more children so that they can collect more money from the welfare department. This has got to be one of the most selfish and laziest reasons to bare children.

Laziness oftentimes causes women to have children to have someone to do chores, help with cooking, and the more common reason, to babysit and help bring up their siblings. These children sometimes are whipping posts for a parents bad moods, and frustrations.

A more serious reason is sometimes because the parents religious beliefs do not allow a termination of a pregnancy, therefore a family is started. The most frivolous reason I have seen, is simply to have a live baby doll to dress up and play with. These are all terribly reasons to bring a human being into this world, and on these terms an emotionally scared child will most likely result.

Think this out thoroughly before you begin, for just because it seems like the easiest thing to do, does not mean that it is the right thing for you to do, and it will cause problems for you and the child. If you are not sure what to do in your situation, find someone to talk to, preferably a professional, or even an older parent who has already gone through these types of situations for it is far better to seek the guidance of someone at this point, than to just go ahead with a very important decision on a wish, whim or a guess.


Submit a Comment

  • ddsurfsca profile imageAUTHOR

    deb douglas 

    7 years ago from Oxnard

    Yes, at 16 she was still a child herself, though I have seen this happen more than once. For some reason, girls get very anxious to start being a mom, quite possibly a hormone thing?? I always knew that I could move out and work and live and take care of myself, but many females are not brought up as independent as I was.

  • JY3502 profile image

    John Young 

    7 years ago from Florence, South Carolina

    Very good points DD. My sister, God rest her soul, had her first child at 16 for the wrong get married and move out of the house. Didn't fare too well. Divorced in 2 years.


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