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Honor? Stay-at-home parents

Updated on May 18, 2012

Proud momma


Get a 'real' job...


  I taught my kids how to read and write, I potty trained them and did arts and crafts. I saw them crawl, walk, and speak, for the first time. I volunteered at their schools, I went on field trips and chaperoned. Myself, and only one other parent, ran the PTO for more than 5 years, because all the other parents had ‘real jobs.’ I ran book fairs & fundraisers, drove them to and from practices and games. I helped them with their homework and projects, attended all back-to-school nights, parent-teacher conferences, award ceremonies, graduations, plays, and or events. I stayed up with them when they were sick and or had nightmares. I nursed their boo-boos, refereed their fights, made them their lunches, prepared their snacks, I listened, cried, consoled, and supported them through their countless break-ups & make-ups. I cooked homemade meals, did the laundry, cleaned the house. I also had the honor of doing these things over the years for many other children, while their parents went to work; some paid me for my services, others could not afford to, but paid what they could, when/if they could.

I had to put out fires, pull hot wheels out of toilets, bleach walls and floors, because someone thought poo would make for a great finger-paint. In my ‘free time,’ I cleaned the homes of the parents that had ‘real jobs’ to help supplement the income I was not able to provide or contribute, as a result of my decision to stay at home and just “sit on my a$$ all day, doing nothing.”

 There are many that will argue that this is not or was not a ‘job,’ and they are entitled to their opinion. After all, who in their right mind would apply for a ‘job’ they were not paid for? No pension plan, no dental plan, no overtime, no 401 K, no raises or promotions. You don’t get sick leave/pay, no substitutes can or will be called in, no vacation time, no hour long lunch breaks, and often times you must forego 15 minute “breaks” altogether. Oh, and lest I forget to mention again, no paycheck. Squeezing what felt like 48 hours into a 24-hour was the most fulfilling, time in my life.

 Being a stay-at-home parent is like being a ‘ghost writer,’ you do all the work, while someone else takes all the credit. Then again, even a ‘ghost writer’ gets paid. We just aren’t paid monetarily; we are paid with hugs & kisses, and phrases such as “I love you. You’re the best mom/daddy ever.”  

 Not surprising it is not recognized as a 'job' for some, but it is the most rewarding and fulfilling experience of one’s life-whatever title they want place on it.

I’ve heard many refer to it as the most underrated, underappreciated, thankless, over looked ‘jobs’ a person can or will ever hold. While I agree on most of those comments or opinions and statements, thankless is not a term I am familiar with. For I did not and do not believe our children are not thankful for all that we do/did for them-they just don’t always verbally express it. Besides, I feel as though I am the one that should be thankful for the opportunity to be a stay-at-home parent, not just for my own children, but for the parents of the other children, who had to go to their ‘real’ jobs. I was blessed to witness, partake, and be involved in their lives, and felt honored and privileged to contribute, in the raising and upbringing of these remarkable, amazing, talented, precious, beautiful, souls. I hope one day they will, or are, able to look back on this time as I do, with fondness. Some knew me or referred to me as ‘auntie Quel’ or ‘mom #2,’ being that they often spent more time with me in my home, than in their own homes, with their own parents.

 Whatever they call/called me, whatever title people want to bestow upon me or any other stay-at-home parent, is irrelevant. I made the choice to stay at home and raise my children and as a reward, I was compensated, in ways money cannot or could not ever pay. While this may not reflect or present well on any resume or application I fill out, as I begin my search for a ‘real’ job or career, now that I am a single parent, in search of  employment. It does not detract or deter from the fact that I believe I held one of the most prestigious, challenging, rewarding, positions, anyone can ever have-a stay-at-home parent.

© 2011 Raquel L Pierson


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      Spencer B 3 years ago

      Amazing as always!!! Proud for taking it to the next level with your writing. I know you, and this is just a warm up :) Keep at it!!

    • raquelpier profile image

      Raquel L Pierson 6 years ago from Lancaster Ca

      Thanks brielise! I am 41 now, and my boys are young men now and I could not be more proud. Sadly, I find it extremely difficult to find employment-seeing as employers want a 10 year employment history. As I have come to learn, many people do not respect or recognize ones choice to be a stay-at-home parent as a 'positive' thing. In fact, very few even attempt to disguise their contempt when they ask me about my 'hiatus' from the work force. Nevertheless, I will never regret my choice to stay at home and raise my children, and I think a lot of stay-at-home parents would share the same sentiment. Best wishes-on whatever you decide! :)

    • brielise profile image

      brielise 6 years ago

      Thanks for responding to my question and leading me to this great hub! The reason I asked was because of an episode of "Anderson" today. Many of the working mothers said it's an excuse to be lazy, but I completely disagree. I babysit and it's so exhausting. When I have kids I want to stay home but I send these kids home at 5 and I am exhausted! Can't imagine 24/7. I'm sure it's hard work AND rewarding. Also, I believe that it isn't fair that now that women CAN work, they are looked down upon when they choose not to so that they can raise their children full-time. I think "feminism" means having the choice and being respected whatever choice you make.

    • raquelpier profile image

      Raquel L Pierson 6 years ago from Lancaster Ca

      Thanks for taking the time to read and for your comments! I know how precious your time especially 'free time'. ;)Your kids are lucky to have you and you are blessed to have them! Some things really are 'priceless!'

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      Kaur rajwinder 6 years ago

      Hi Requel, its really a great feeling to be with your kids. You are absolutely right that kids do reward us with hugs, kisses and their love and its the best reward one ever get in her life. money can't substitute this reward. thanx for writing this article.

    • raquelpier profile image

      Raquel L Pierson 6 years ago from Lancaster Ca

      Thank you Audra! My kids are in their teens now, my oldest just graduated high school, my youngest just started. I struggle with having returned to school to get my degree (finally), which I had put on hold to raise them, because I miss being here when they come home.Still, I am so thankful I had as many years as I did staying at home with them. I might have thought of it as job myself, if I hadn't been having so much fun doing what I did. ;) Thanks for the feedback! Love ya back!

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      Audra 6 years ago

      Thank you Raquel for writing this. It nice to hear from a stay at home mom who is thankful that she was able to stay home. I will probably be hated for this by some. But I get upset when people say its a job. I also dislike when somebody says the have to babysit when they refer to their own children. I have been a stay at home mom, and I would never want my kids,to think it was a job to me. I think of a job as something that takes me away from my kids. Time off is when I get to be around them. Love you Quell