Step-parenting isn't scary ,is it?
The label 'Step-parenting' immediately conjures up an image of inferior character doesn't it , like you're not quite up there with the real parents ,but if you make it up the 'step' you just might graduate.
This old fashioned stereotype label comes from old Latin/English. Today we also are familiar with the terms ,blended families,bonded families. From my own experience and those of friends ,we probably have been less interested in the title and most interested in making this new family work.
Remember to check the links I have included too for legal and other information .
What kind of parent are you http://hubpages.com/hub/What-kind-Of-Parent-Are-You
Middle Ages Mumbo Jumbo
The Blended Family
Unique Parenting Styles..
This kind of parent usually likes to be more of a friend than a parent and will often 'give way' or give to a child's demands, to stay in favour, or avoid mild conflict so as to remain the child's best friend. For this same reason they lack confidence in setting any behaviour boundaries as well. Permissive parents believe often that children should be free to make their own choices ,then when they make bad ones ,will bail them out because they didn't know any better? Sometimes this is because they lack confidence or have self esteem issues or simply its because they don't know any better.
"Do as I say because I said so" kinda parents. No negotiating ,no bargaining , no consulting.Might is Right mentality,which works on the premise and takes for granted you understand the consequences therefore your fear will teach you don't veer left or right , follow this line ,my line. This approach appears to work for the Authoritative parent until the child is old enough to leave home ,stand up physically mum or dad or move in with the first boy/girl they think loves them.
Mixed Blend of Styles.
Reinforcing good behaviour and focusing less on the bad behaviour ,though lets be clear here the time should match the crime and using common sense with lots of love makes the perfect combination. So this works fine for the very young or when a child genuinely makes a mistake .
I think its important to be flexible in matters that wont jeopardise National Security another words be realistic in your expectations and to be honest the fewer you have the better it is for the child and for you.
Be a good Listener , don't feel you have to comment on every single action, quite often people ,and children are people just small ones like to be heard and that's it. Take your cue from them ,if they want to hear what you are thinking ,you will definitely hear it.
Teens are going to be a challenge whether you gave birth to them or not. Kids with natural parents get into trouble and step-teens get into trouble. That's the bottom line here , they can be the sweetest kids, then appear to turn ugly overnight, and chances are they are working through some big issues ,you just happen to be one of them.
I dont Get It!!...Doesnt Mean I dont Like You
Patience With A Capital P !!
Give them Some Space.
Explain and be direct with them ,don't expect them to know or even want the same goals as you, in fact they may not even be on the same planet as you,and that's OK. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither are most families.
When they trust you to be reliable and consistent ,they are less confused and learn to really know you, and will eventually relax around you and that is when you have the very best base for building a strong step-parent family. Based on mutual respect.
Disappointment Shown In Anger
- Tips on Positive Parenting
The Answer is Out There Somewhere Briefly of course, but I visulize the color spectrum for a moment. Red, Orange, Yellow, Green,Blue,Indigo and Violet. Blended , Bending , Perfect in Difference. Children...
- Step Talk | Where Stepparents Come to Vent.
StepTalk provides a place for stepparents to talk about their issues, offer support, provide solutions, give helpful advice, ask questions on step parenting and blended families and vent.
- Living With Stepparents
Do you have a stepmom or stepdad? Lots of kids do. Find out more in this article for kids.
- Stepfamily - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
History and legal advice links