- Family and Parenting
Summary Analysis Response: Dating and Parents
SAR – Crazy Love
Pinker, Steven. “Crazy Love.” Perspectives on Argument. Ed. Nancy Wood. 7th. Boston: Pearson, 2012. 482-485. Print.
Summary: In Steven Pinker’s short informative essay, “Crazy Love,” he describes the effects love has on us as human beings, and the way people look for certain spouses. Pinker argues that ever since the beginning of time love has driven humans to make decisions they would not normally make. Love evokes feelings not only of happiness, but of sorrow and anger as well. Pinker then begins to explain how humans find a mate, and what they look for in the opposite sex. He explores two different approaches in finding a mate: Looking for someone who fits mold and meets the criteria for an ideal spouse, or someone who evokes the countless feelings associated with being in love.
Analysis: “Crazy Love” is a short essay that intends to inform the reader on the effects love has on people, and two different ways in looking for a spouse. The author subtly argues that love has caused humans to act out of the ordinary for centuries. Pinker uses a quote from Kwakiutl Indian in 1896 to emphasize that point. I found the article to be effective for several reasons. First being that he digs deep into a topic that applies to everyone, which is love. He also establishes a common ground by recalling the feelings associated with love, which forces the reader to think about the emotions that he or she feels in association with love. By doing so it allows the reader to relate to this essay much easier, which is the reason that the intended audience is simply the general public. Since everyone in their lifetime will experience love, the article can apply to almost anyone who may read it. For most people, I believe this article is effective, because it provides insight on love in ways that most people would not have thought of on their own. I also believe that the author may subtly hint that perhaps what you should look for in a spouse is someone who you love and not just someone who fits the mold and meets the criteria.
Response: This essay is intriguing and forces the reader to think about how he or she views love. It relates to my topic of how important parents’ approval of marriage is, because it suggests that what is truly important is that you are with someone you love. And although parental approval is important, perhaps it may be worth dealing with and learning to overcome if you are with someone that you have such a crazy love for. One should look for someone who they really love, and not just someone who fits the mold. Yes, it is important that a spouse meet up to a potential your standards, and also that you get along with his or her parents, but without love, it will never last.
SAR – Is Arranged Marriage Really Any Worse Than Craigslist?
Jain, Anita. “Is Arranged Marriage Really Any Worse Than Cragslist?” Perspectives on Argument. Ed. Nancy Wood. 7th. Boston: Pearson, 2012. 482-485. Print.
Summary: In Anita Jain’s short essay “Is Arranged Marriage Really Any Worse Than Craigslist?” she recounts on numerous instances in her past dealing with being set up for potential arranged husbands. Jain’s father spent much of her dating life finding suitable potential husbands for his daughter that met his standards. Over these years, Jain had experienced countless scenarios that made her more experienced. Jain writes that she began to realize that she does not think it is necessary to date someone for years before marriage and that a few months would be enough time for her to know if she wants to marry someone.
Analysis: This essay is very interesting, because it gives insight on a very important aspect of a culture that is not known to most Americans. It gives a new perspective on dating, and the opinions that people from other parts of the world have. What makes this essay effective is that the author grabs the reader’s attention with the use of several personal accounts of dating experience involving potential husbands for an arranged marriage. The fact that the stories are all true make this essay all the more interesting, effective, and relatable. The arrangement of the essay also helps increase the effectiveness of the article by establishing background to the stories, grabbing attention with numerous stories, and then informing the reader on how these experiences affected the author as a person. The intended audience is most likely people who are still looking for a spouse and are still dating, but this essay is interesting whether you are or aren’t the intended audience, because of the insight it gives to something most people do not know much about. The reminiscences Jain writes about are essential in relation to helping this essay apply to readers, because it allows the reader to recall dating stories that he or she may have and what she took from that.
Response: I found this essay to be interesting and new to me. It will relate to my topic of how important is parental approval is in marriage, because it shows the extreme end of the spectrum. Arranged marriage takes parental approval to an extreme, and allows me to give evidence of how important parental approval is to some families from other parts of the world. Although the author uses great strategies to convince the reader of her beliefs, I still do not feel that I would like to be involved in an arranged marriage. I do realize that there are certain pros and cons, but I would rather meet someone who I really love and marry that woman.
SAR – In-Law Relationships
Swihart, Phillip J. “In-Law Relationships.” Focus on the Family, 2006. Web. 2 February 2012. <http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/communication_and_conflict/inlaw_relationships.aspx>
Summary: In the article, “In-Law Relationships,” author Phillip J. Swihart introduces the idea that in-laws can cause couples many problems, but they can be handled in a sophisticated manner that will keep your marriage healthy. Swihart begins by stating that if you are a Christian it is important that you show Christian character towards your in-laws at all times. He then states that if someone is having trouble with his or her in-laws, it is likely that it will cause problems in that person’s marriage, because the problems one has with in-laws make the other spouse feel “caught in the middle between parents and you.” Swihart then introduces the idea that “good fences make good neighbors.” By this he means that a couple should set boundaries between themselves and in-laws, that can be respected and aren’t too outrageous. While these boundaries are important, it is also important that you always respect your spouse’s family members, because you are now a part of your spouse’s family as well. Swihart then suggest that it is important that you stand up for yourself while still respecting in-laws. He concludes the article by suggesting Christian counseling if you still are facing problems with in-laws.
Analysis: “In-Law Relationships” is an online advice article written to help those who are dealing with issues regarding in-laws. The article is very effective for several reasons. Although this article does not use evidence to support solutions it does back up the idea that one should always respect in-laws by referencing the bible. This is a very powerful technique, especially if the reader is of Christian faith. I found that the proposed solutions and methods in this article were extremely reasonable and appeared to be very helpful. The intended audience is couples searching for advice on how to deal with in-law problems. The author seems to also particularly, but not exclusively, target couples of the Christian faith, because this essay would be even more helpful to a religious couple.
Response: I thoroughly enjoyed this essay, not only because it provided many different solutions to the problems concerning in-laws, but also because it implies that although the approval of parents is important in marriage, it is not something it is necessarily a deal-breaker. It ties into my topic of the importance of parental approval of marriage perfectly. If parents disapprove, this article provides effective and reasonable suggestions to help the problem. I also am a Christian, which allowed me to find this article to be particularly convincing.
SAR – Dating, Parent-Adolescent Conflict, and Behavioral Autonomy
Dowdy, Bonnie B., and Wendy Kliewer. "Dating, parent-adolescent conflict, and behavioral autonomy." Journal of Youth and Adolescence 27.4 (1998): 473+. Academic OneFile. Web. 7 Feb. 2012. <http://go.galegroup.com/ps/i.do?action=interpret&id=GALE%7CA21059139&v=2.1&u=txshracd2488&it=r&p=AONE&sw=w&authCount=1>
Summary: The article “Dating, parent-adolescent conflict, and behavioral autonomy” by Bonnie B. Dowdy and Wendy Kliewer is a very short but effective article. It begins by stating that there is not much information about autonomy developments and relationships with parents. The authors then describe a study conducted with 859 people. It shows that age, autonomy, and gender play roles in relationship to conflict with parents. While most of the relationships these factors have with parental conflict are difficult to interpret, it was fairly clear that the short-term relationships suffered from parental conflict more than the long-term relationships.
Analysis: This article is very effective, because it gives statistics rather than opinions. By describing a study conducted, the reader is able to see facts, and interpret what he or she wants based on the evidence. I also found that it is made more effective, because of how concise it is. It is very short and clear. The intended audience is most likely anyone who is experiencing problems regarding relationships, particularly those involving parental issues. Although this article provides no insight on what the author thinks, the reader is able to make interpretations on how he or she feels about the issue. Over-all I believe the article is effective.
Response: This article was rather intriguing, because it allowed me to gather what I wanted from the data. The authors did not state how they felt about the experiment, which allows me to make my own interpretations. It relates directly to my topic of importance of parental approval regarding marriage, because it provides me with raw data from a study conducted, and directly shows how parental approval affects daters.
SAR – Will Your Marriage Make it? The Mother-in-Law Variable
Moore, Tim. “Will Your Marriage Make it? The Mother-in-Law Variable.” Blog Critics: Culture, 7 July 2009. Web. 2 February 2012. <http://blogcritics.org/culture/article/will-your-marriage-make-it-the/>
Summary: In Tim Moore’s short internet article, “Will Your Marriage Make it? The Mother-in-Law Variable,” he describes a study done in Italy relating to how in-laws affect marriage, a personal account of a friend whose marriage was affected by a mother-in-law, and how he believes one can deal with issues regarding in-laws. He begins by summarizing the performed Italian study, stating that its results showed that for every 100 yards that physically separated a mother-in-law from her child and that child’s spouse, the marriage success increased. Moore then recalled his friends’ marriage that was plagued by the husband’s mother. The mother-in-law severely hindered the couple’s marriage due to her continuous interference. Eventually, the couple moved further away from the mother-in-law, and Moore states that this action taken allowed the marriage to heal. Moore concludes by stating that a couple is able to save a marriage as long as they take action, even if it requires moving away from in-laws.
Analysis: “Will Your Marriage Make it? The Mother-in-Law Variable” is a short online article that addresses an issue, proposes a solution, and backs up the solution. I found this article intriguing, because, through the support used to back up the claim about mother-in-laws, it allows the reader to gain understanding that trouble with a spouse’s parents are prevalent in other areas of the world as well. The intended audience is obviously someone who is in a relationship that is suffering due to issues involving a mother-in-law. He addresses the problem that readers are facing, and then proposes a solution along with support to back up the potential fix. While the author did a good job providing support for the proposed solution, the main issues that keep it from being more effective are that it only provides one solution that may not be for everyone, and that the referenced study is Italian. The fact that the study performed was Italian makes it less credible. Since it was conducted in a completely different country, it may not be as effective in the United States.
Response: I found this essay interesting, because it allows the reader to know that the issue of in-laws is a problem all over the world. I also think that while the proposed solution may be effective, it is not a solution that I am sure I would want to take. It is not easy for a family to up-root from where they are live and work and simply relocate. I feel that relocating may be more like a last resort, and that perhaps other solutions should have been proposed before introducing the idea of moving away. What I do like about this article is that although the author shows that parental approval is important, if parents disapprove it is not something that can be resolved in one way or another.