THE FIRESTARTER AND THE HURRICANE
My Little Girl And Her Fears....
Well, the morning started out with high winds and cloudy skies. I should have known that this was not a normal "weather report" for this time of year here in Sunny California. This was the weather report on "behavior" inside my household and it had nothing to do with weather! It was a bit "cloudy" outside but there was a storm inside my house starting at 6:30am this morning! Did I mention that it was Sunday morning and my favorite day to wake up in the silence with a good book? Did I also mention that I did not even make it to my first cup of coffee before the storm hit?
It started the usual way when there is warning of a tornado in the neighboring town (my son's bedroom). She crept in silently and made her way to the couch before she started in on "something" subtle that soon turned into "something" a lot worse! Let's first talk about the little "bags" under her eyes and also mention the bad dreams from my last hub just to give you an idea of what I'm working with here. After I gave my son a "cuddle" like I do every morning and then take turns with each of my children, the "Firestarter" let in on me in an instant. It started with "I just don't get enough love anymore" and then progressed to "You love Simon more then me." After I cuddled her it did not end after that because she had not slept last night and this then turned into "extra sensitive" about every single thing. Which then progressed to various crying fits and other extreme emotional outbursts throughout the day.
By the time I sat down with my coffee and started to work on my novel which I do every single morning after I make sure the kids are fed and settled, the noise in the house was unbearable. Bella was screaming at Simon like they were in full throttle mini wars and it did not stop for an hour. Ofcourse the "Firestarter" started it all and there was no stopping her. She was on a roll like she always does when there is something that is really bothering her but she does not know how to express her emotions. Afterall she is still six years old and very mature for her age in some ways, but very "young" when it comes to expressing her emotions when she is tired or hurt.
There were outbursts all day long and they were broken up with the line "I'm hungry" and then other extra "needy" requests which usually happens when she is really tired. Let's put it this way, I was her slave on quite a few occasions and so was everyone else in the household. She did not get into a good mood until the afternoon when the kids jumped into our pool and she seemed to forget for a bit. The fights seemed to end and then the kids finally got along which was a miracle! When it got close to bedtime and she was starting to bother me more with little things and requests, I had almost had it. My patience after the whole entire day had run it's course and although I wanted to scream, I kept my composure and tried to make her feel fine and loved before she went to bed. Let me tell you, I was not in a good mood at all.
When she finally fell down on her bed from emotional exhaustion, I plopped myself down next to her and proceeded to talk to her about her "worries." By the time she was about to go to sleep, she finally spoke about the things that were bothering her and none of it had to do with all of the bad dreams that she mentioned the last time! The first worry was the first day of school and her fears of getting a "mean teacher." I asked her what she meant by "mean" and she said that before the Summer she heard some girls talking about how "mean" the second grade teachers are! I tried not to laugh and then explained what "rumors" were and also explained that kids that get "in trouble" always call their teachers "mean." I also told her that I would volunteer one day a week to make sure that everything is ok in the classroom. This seemed to bring her a bit of calm and I also assured her if she was a good student and did her work, the teacher would love her. Really, I had no idea this is something she was thinking about all Summer! My little "Firestarter" is always full of surprises!
The last and "final" worry she had before she shut her beautiful brown eyes was that she was worried about her birthday. I said "Why?" She said that she was worried that none of it would work out. I assured her that there has never been a problem on her birthday, even when we lived in England. I always made sure that it was a "big" deal and she had plenty of her friends around. Then she said that she was worried that the mini Golf place may not be open on her exact date for her party (which is a Wednesday this year and she will be in school). I assured her that I would book it in advance and make sure that on the weekend near her birthday, the place would be ready for us to "show up" there. The funny thing is that her birthday is about 5 weeks away and she has been thinking of this every single day for the last week or so!
When she finally closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep, I decided to whisper in her ear "Happy Birthday." She smiled and I watched as her hand uncurled and her little body relaxed in a deep calm. I gave her a kiss on her forehead and rubbed her head for a few minutes. As I left her bedroom I thought about the day and felt so tired at the thought of having yet another one like it. One thing I know for sure, my little "Firestarter" is so sensitive and loving but she needs to be reassured and her fears need to be addressed right away. Next time she starts early in the morning, I will sit down and try to get to the bottom of it to avoid the "rollercoaster" and give her extra attention until she talks about everything!
When you have such a passionate and loving child, they just need to be able to express themselves and talk about their worries and fears at this age. It is really important to get through the tears and find out what is really bothering them so they can "move on."