ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Temper Tantrums : 10 Tips How to Stop Toddler Tantrums

Updated on June 27, 2020
peachpurple profile image

Peachpurple has two kids, a teen and a school age kid. She had been through tough parenting and learned a lot of tips and tricks about kids

Toddler Crying

Crying is a way to show displease and unhappiness for a child
Crying is a way to show displease and unhappiness for a child | Source

What do you do when your toddler shows tantrums in public?

See results

What is Temper Tantrum

  • Toddle temper tantrums seem to be a particular type of behavior that a toddler from around 12 months onward.
  • Parents are always use physical action to control the toddler temper or stop the unbearable behavior immediately which is incorrect and abusive.
  • Your toddler wanted to do or get some things that he wanted but does not know how to express himself clearly.
  • He cannot engage in a verbal language with siblings, care giver or parents.
  • Your toddler got frustrated, unable to take in the foul mood and shows his temper unexpectedly.
  • When the mother says; "NO!", the toddler immediately becomes extremely angry and sometimes becomes violent by scratching, pulling, yanking, slapping, hitting, yelling whatever or whoever is in front of him.
  • Until the toddler can speak or understand in a spoken language or word, he becomes physically violent.
  • He cries, he jumps up and down,cries on the floor with legs sprawling and hands swaying here and there, kicks, or even pulls the mother's arms until his face turns red.
  • Clutching his both fists with anger and shouts are the way he let off his unhappiness just as adults release stress with screaming to himself.
  • Showing pouting lips, tears flowing down his cheeks and doing everything opposite from your instructions.

Crying for a cookie

Ignore his pleas but don't leave him out of your sight. It is dangerous that he might hurt himself
Ignore his pleas but don't leave him out of your sight. It is dangerous that he might hurt himself | Source

Tips to Stop Temper Tantrums

Here are some advises which are worth trying but takes lots of patience.

#1- Ignore your toddler

  • BUT Do not leave him alone. He will feel insecure because he needs the presence of his parent.
  • Continue with your tasks; household chores, shopping, watching TV, surfing Internet but ensure that you can see him.
  • Your toddler might be feeling lonely, afraid because he is not used to it.
  • He cries for your company or your attention to look at him.
  • If no amount of words could keep him down, ignore him for 10-20 minutes because he is literally out of his mind right now.
  • You won't be able to talk any sense into his mind now as he is out of control.
  • Allow your toddler to wail and cry until he is satisfied.
  • Then, he is willing to listen and talk after his emotions are over.

Raising Voice

Shouting doesn't scare kids anymore
Shouting doesn't scare kids anymore | Source

#2 - Don't Scold

  • Do not scold or scream at your toddler at the top of your voice.
  • When you toddler is showing his tantrums, no matter how fierce you may look, how loud your voice is, your screaming and scolding will be in vain.
  • Threats are the worst method to stop tantrums because your child will cry even louder and create more unpleasant scenes.
  • Stop challenging with your child.
  • Refrain from scolding him in the public as he wanted to save his pride too.

Winnie the Pooh Plush Toy

Teddy bear, a soft cuddly toy that attracts kids easily
Teddy bear, a soft cuddly toy that attracts kids easily | Source

#3 - Distract his attention

  1. Distract the toddler's attention with an interesting toy or make a suggestion of doing something fun to do.
  2. New things could temporary make him forget his tantrums for a while.
  3. Getting your toddler engaged and interested in something else so that he could focus on it.
  4. Some great examples are; an old storybook that he has not read, delicious ice-cream of his favorite flavor, cuddly toy, some insects that you had spotted in the garden or watch his favorite TV education shows.
  5. Distractions at the right time is the best way to get him off the hook of crying before he goes deeper.
  6. Once he is happy with your new distraction, he may had forgotten what he was crying for a while ago.

a BIG Hug

A toddler being hug in the arms of his daddy
A toddler being hug in the arms of his daddy | Source

#4 - Give a big hug

  • Give your toddler a warm big hug to show that you wanted to make up.
  • Every kids need a good hug to make him feel comfortable and wanted.
  • When he felt unwanted, his pleas ignored, he wanted something warmth to calm down his emotions.
  • A big hug helps him to settle down pretty quickly. A firm, big hug, not the cuddly type that spoils a kid.
  • Let him feel secure again. Let him know that you care and love him too.
  • My boy always needed a big hug after showing his temper. He asked for a hug because he said he wanted to stop crying. No matter how angry I was, I gave him one.

No Slapping

Slapping or hitting a child is a wrong act
Slapping or hitting a child is a wrong act | Source

#5 - No to spanking

  • Do not spank or slap your toddler particularly in front of the public.
  • He will feel embarrassed, hurt his feelings and make the situation even worst by crying, wailing as if you are the bad parent.
  • Spanking or slapping does not solve nor cease the tantrum immediately.
  • It hurts physically and emotionally for a child who is innocent.
  • This is easier said than done when your temper is rising at that point but REMEMBER that spanking does not work for you either when you were young, right?
  • Hitting your child means challenging your child to a showdown.
  • That gives your toddler more reasons to induce higher screaming, more crying and more unreasonable excuses to insist on getting what he wanted.

Quiz How Well You Understand Your Child Tantrum

view quiz statistics

#6 - Do not hold any anger

  • Once the tantrum is over, do not hold anger at your toddler.
  • Bearing grudges at a defenseless, innocent child who do not even know what is wrong or right, is a childish act for an adult.
  • Teach and guide him.Explain to him why and what happened. What to do in future.
  • Give him your reasons why you said "NO" to his demands. Give him other alternative ideas to replace his needs.
  • Teach him how to express himself. My son used to tell me that "I don't know how to say" because he couldn't find the exact words to tell me what he wanted.
  • It is up to parents to forgive and forget about the tantrum. Being angry at your own child will not teach him to perform better the next time when such situation occurs again.
  • When your child says "Sorry", accept with a big smile and a hug but remind him NEVER to repeat it again

Wait patiently

Wait and see, don't say anything until your child stops his nonsense
Wait and see, don't say anything until your child stops his nonsense | Source

#7 Wait and See

  • Wait for the tantrums to subside, even though it is easier said than done.
  • Keep your cool. Experts insisted that parents must keep your cool during a child's tantrum.
  • A war between mother and child will make the whole tantrum a big scale of bad temper between both parties.
  • It usually take 20-30 minutes or even an hour for your toddler to calm down. That is the time when you can start talking not scolding to your child.
  • Talking is the best way to get your child to listen to you when he is not crying anymore.
  • Let him know that his bad behavior in showing tantrum is NOT ACCEPTABLE to you. Get him to understand that you did not give in or give up at all.
  • Speaking at a calm tone is soothing for your toddler, as he knows that you meant well, not threatening him.
  • Teach him the moral of good behavior.

Why NO?

Give your reasons why you are firm with a straight NO
Give your reasons why you are firm with a straight NO | Source

#8 - Learn to say" NO"

  • When your toddler realized that no one is consoling or notice him,he will understand that by throwing his tantrums, he will not get his own way or things either.
  • By then, he will stop his his tantrum, cease showing temper since it is not working at all.
  • Thus, your toddler will understand that when you said "NO", you are firmly against it and will not give in either.
  • Once he knew that he could not get what he wanted, your toddler will give in instead, get closer to you and start talking calmly in between sobs.
  • Remember to give him your reasons why you refused to give Never give him a "No" without a solid fact.

Favorite Vitagen Drink

A bottle of Vitagen easily distract my boy's attention
A bottle of Vitagen easily distract my boy's attention | Source

#9 -Offer his favorite food or drinks

  • A hungry and tired toddler play two big parts in temper and tantrums too.
  • When it is naptime or meal time and you haven't gave him any of it, get them done as soon as possible to cease off his temper before it gets worse.
  • A hungry or sleepy child get very cranky and moody when his body is reacting to the mood.
  • Offer your toddler his favorite food or drink to satisfy his hunger / thirst and apologize to him that you had forgotten, not done in purpose.
  • Tell him to remind you in future, not showing his temper which is incorrect way to communicate.
  • For a toddler who is sleepy, always give him a regular naptime because when his brain power shuts off, he gets pretty irritated with no place to rest.
  • Allow your toddler to rest on your lap or carry him while you are shopping.

Count to yourself

Counting to yourself silently to cool off your temper
Counting to yourself silently to cool off your temper | Source

#10- Count to 10

  • Try counting up to 10 to cool down your emotional feelings.
  • Refrain from raising your hands on your toddler.
  • When you are unable to talk to your wailing toddler, turn away from him, count in your heart from 1-10 while breathing in and out deeply.
  • Counting helps you to stop your temper too.
  • Once you had calmed down, turn back and speak to your child in a calm tone.
  • You are an adult, you should know that if both mother and child shows temper, that means "WAR", no more negotiation and that is childish.
  • Counting helps you to stop talking and give you an ample time to think of what ideas to distract his attention.

Playing is important for kids

Lego, kids' favorite toys
Lego, kids' favorite toys | Source

© 2009 peachy


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)