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Talking to Toddlers: Dealing With the Terrible Twos and Beyond

Updated on August 3, 2020
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Born in London, I currently live and work in Accra, Ghana. I am a writer and creative entrepreneur.

Talking to Toddlers

I recently read a compelling and informative book/course on parenting, dealing with the terrible twos to be more specific. The book is called Talking to Toddlers: Dealing with Terrible Twos and Beyond.


I no longer have a two year old but I do have friends and family members that have toddlers and I have watched them struggle with their kids at this difficult stage. I noticed a few very common traits in parents who have children who constantly cause a scene in public. I notice that these parents get frustrated very easily and they seem to forget that their toddlers are not adults. They are tiny human beings and we as parents need to develop tools that can help both us and help our children develop good habits and behavior. This book was written by Chris Thompson, an author, podcaster and NLP expert. In the book you learn how to talk to your toddlers in a way that will generate a better response, it is designed for both the parent and the child in various easy to understand and implement sections.

I am going to give you a comprehensive, yet concise outline of the book to give you an idea of what to expect before you get it.


What You Will Learn ?

In the book Talking to Toddlers: Dealing with Terrible Twos and Beyond, you will learn the following things:


  • Unconventional tips on how to parent effectively

  • The reasons why your children behave the way they do

  • How you talk to your children has a major impact on their behavior

  • How to connect with your child emotionally before you start trying to change the way they behave

  • How certain words cause bad behavior

You will also gain an understanding of the following things:


Behavior and Emotion

Your child’s behavior is essentially triggered by emotion. Usually children, and even adults act with emotion first and then they try to justify their behavior with logic afterwards. Children of toddler age do not act with logic at all, they usually act from an emotional place. It is important to fully understand this before you start trying to change your child's behavior.


Getting Discouraged only Makes their Behavior Worse


Getting discouraged, angry and frustrated only makes the situation worse. I notice that when my friends are trying to deal with toddlers, they get annoyed, discouraged and some even start crying because they can no longer handle the way their child is behaving. Remaining calm is key when dealing with toddlers, although this is much easier said than done. In this book, you will learn some simple strategies that will teach you to behave when your child acts in a certain way. Also, the book claims that after some time, your child will stop having tantrums and instead find less aggravating ways of conveying how she or he feels about something.


Saying NO is a Trigger

Sometimes parents use the word no far too much, in the book the author teaches how you find other words that send a different message to the child. I have tried some of these techniques with my friends' children and I have noticed a significant difference in the way they behave. I even gifted a copy of the book to a couple of friends to find out what they had to say about it. One friend didn’t like the book because she said there were too many steps to follow and she simply could not unlearn some of the behaviors she had been exhibiting in the past to now behave in a completely different way.


Another friend really enjoyed reading through all the material and she implemented the steps bit by bit instead of trying to do everything at once. This is one piece of advice I would like to give to anyone who plans on buying this book, you need to try and implement the steps slowly instead of trying to do everything at once. Trying to do everything in one fell swoop will probably make matters worse.


Build a Connection With Your Child


The book teaches you to build a connection with your child. An emotion connection that can facilitate the process of trying to influence their behavior. If you have ever had to negotiate with a potential customer or client, you will know that you have to build a rapport with the client before you start trying to sell to them. You need to do the same thing with your child the book states.


How Effective is the Information in The BOOK

The book is effective in the way it teaches you in great detail, how to treat your children in order to change their behavior. I went through the whole book twice because parts of it needed extra attention. However, overall the information in the book is quite effective.



Are the Steps Difficult to Implement ?

The steps are not difficult to implement at all however, like I stated earlier, it is best to implement the steps bit by bit as opposed to trying to do everything at once. I suggest you start with building a strong rapport with your child first (that’s if you don’t already have one)


Is the Book Easy to Digest and Understand?

The information in the book is very easy to digest and understand, if you don’t like reading, set your device to read using the text to speech function. Make notes as you go along, taking note of key points and steps that you want to implement first.


Do I Recommend the Book?


I do recommend the book to parents who are really struggling with their kids at the moment. Also to parents who have younger children who might need some advice in the future. I no longer have a two year old but I read it for research purposes and to help my friends and family who need help from time to time with their children. When my son was a toddler, he was pretty calm until I took a specific toy away because it was time to eat lunch. He would scream and roll around the floor until I would just give in and give it back to him. My method was to just totally ignore him until he had finished screaming. I would put his little plastic plate on the floor and he would eventually just start eating in the food. He would even request that he sit at the table to be more like mummy. He grew out of the tantrums pretty quickly, I did one thing that the book mentions and that is I stopped using the word no. I would find other creative ways of letting him know that the answer was no.


Anyway to conclude, Talking to Toddlers and Dealing with the Terrible Twos and Beyond is a comprehensive guide to parenting toddlers. I recommend it for grandparents and for parents of slightly older kids too. I found it easy to digest and the steps were quite simple to implement however, it is a lot to learn therefore, it is best to start implementing the steps one by one as opposed to all at once.


You can find out more about the book here >>>>> Talking to Toddlers and Dealing with Terrible Twos and Beyond

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