ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Family and Parenting»
  • Parenting Skills, Styles & Advice»
  • Parenting Advice & Tips

Teaching Your Child to Apologize

Updated on September 10, 2014
Rfiskaali profile image

Rebecca has been a freelancer online for 6+ years. She enjoys writing, editing and being a stay-at-home mom to two beautiful little girls.

Source

A is for Apology

The art of apologizing comes into play at about three years old. At three years old your child has the ability to understand their actions and know right from wrong - to a degree. Your child also has the ability to sympathize with their peers.

From infant to toddler your children have been studying the world around them and have learned the many emotions and actions associated with them. For instance, your child should understand that tears mean sadness, smiles mean happy, laughs mean funny etc. While this may seem like an easy feat for you remember your child is new to the world of empathy and emotions. They live in the moment with a me, me, me attitude. Which is all normal at this developmental stage of life.

Behavior that Calls for an Apology

You invite your best friend and her child over for lunch and a play date. It's late in the day Jr. is growing tired and he hurls his favorite toy truck at your best friends child. Your mortified. Your embarrassed and worry that your child is a bully.

Relax. This isn't the case at all as long as you use this opportunity to teach him a lesson. But head warning, letting it all slide will ensure that Jr. is a future bully on the playground.

Evaluate the Situation

Step back and look at the situation. Chances are high that Jr. is just trying to express himself and is frustrated with the situation at hand.

At this age children are full of emotions. They are wound up tight and can confuse their emotions, thoughts, or ideas. One minute they are excited. The next minute they are sad. All normal behavior for a three - five year old. Inside their little bodies their thoughts are running about a mile a minute and they really have little control over their actions at this point. They know they like playing with their friend but they are growing increasingly tired. Since your child lacks the ability to communicate all their feelings at once they become increasingly agitated and frustrated.

How To Teach A Child To Apologize

Once you've surveyed the situation, ensured the other child is okay, take Jr to a private place and talk with him. When you speak with your child about apologizing make it short and sweet.

"You hurt John, hurting someone else is not nice and makes them sad, you need to say sorry so John will come back and play with us another day".

Try your best to not embarrass him more by insisting he apologize right there, in the situation. He's already upset. He know's what he did was wrong but he was in a whirlwind at the time. If you insist he apologize right there, in front of this victim, you are likely to be met with resistance, and a child that buries their face in your dress, pants, etc. from their it will be a power struggle between you and your child. Inevitably an important lesson will be lost and you will be frustrated yourself.

After the Apology

After an apology it's best to wrap up a play date within the next 30 minutes or so. This is important for two reasons:

#1. Your child needs a break from all the action taking place.

#2. The other child needs time to talk with their parents, to avoid any ill feelings in the future.

Try not to have your child apologize, and then leave immediately after, this leaves the last memories with the other child soured. You want your child to grow from this experience and understand, not have negative feelings about their next encounter with their little buddy.

Help! My Child Won't Apologize

If after speaking with your child you are still met with resistance it is now time to leave. Explain again that hurting someone is not nice and that you will not tolerate it. Accidents happen but it's important that we apologize so we can have friends and people will want to play with us.

Take your child by the hand to the other child and briefly explain:

"I'm sorry Jr. hurt you John, I hope next time we can all play nicely together."

Say your goodbye's and leave or tell the other parent that you think it's best they leave. Drop the subject for a short time span and bring it back up when Jr. is alone, in his comfortable settings, explain to him again about how friends are treated and how bad behavior makes people not want to play with you. Apologizing is a must. Let Jr. take the lead from there.....

Benefits of Apologizing

Remember Your Children Are Watching You.

If you make a mistake, apologize. If you hurt someone's feelings apologize. Never leave a situation, especially when your child is in ear shot, unfinished. Man up and apologize for your behaviors and Jr. will learn that this is how life works.

"Never ruin an apology with an excuse." - Benjamin Franklin

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)