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Teen Hangs Out With Bad Friend; Advice for Parents
Teen Hangs Out With Bad Friend
What happens when your teen hangs out with a bad friend?. That is the leading concern of every parent today. Do you forbid the teen to hang around with this friend? Do you adopt a wait and see philosophy? When it becomes serious, do you transfer your teen to a different school? Do you talk to the parents, the school, or a counselor? Will your child turn into a bad teen? These questions all cross a parents mind while muddling through the situation. One way to solve it is the way John's parents handled the situation.
*Story of John and Willie
John and Willie were friends since 3rd grade and lived a few doors from each other. The friendship went fairly well until they got into high school. Willie began to get involved with drugs. John's mother called a guidance center. The counselor told her that if the good teen is strong enough, he could help his friend and turn him around. If the good teen has a good family background, it is unlikely that he will take the path to drugs. She advised John's mother to "keep a watchful eye." If the situation becomes serious or dangerous, it is time for action. John's mother followed her advice.
After a few years with no catastrophic incidents, a break-in occurred in John's garage with valuable items stolen. The police advised John's father to check flea markets, as the goods will probably end up there from a pawnshop. This suggestion worked, and the stolen goods were traced back to John's friend Willie. Following this unfortunate incident, John's father pressed charges, and the friendship ended. Soon, Willie's family moved away from the neighborhood. This is a success story that seemed like a miracle to John's family but a sad ending for Willie. Family unity is so importance in the success of a family.
Importance of Family Unity
Hopefully, parents have worked toward building a strong relationship with their children based on love and appreciation.. When a crisis arises, the foundation to handle situations may be in place. When the child chooses a friend who is a troublemaker, they can sit down and work through the situation. Following are the steps toward a successful solution to friendship problems.
Don't beat yourself up about failure over the issue of a teen and bad friends, as the important issue is the effort you put into it. Your child is yours forever, and recalling the teen years later might make you smile and be proud of the joint effort toward success .
Advice for Parents.
Do not forbid the friendship, as that tactic may make the teen rebel. The exception is the occurrence or threat of danger. Nina Mounts, Assistant Professor of Psychology at Northern Illinois University, offers that advice.
Become acquainted with friends and friend's parents
Keep the communication open, and tell the teen what your expectations are, and ask what is happening. Remind teen of the boundaries. Stress your love and appreciation for the teen and that you will always be there..
If his grades are dropping, talk about why this is occurring. Use the school counselors and teachers as a support system.
Know where your children are at all times.
You can finally tell the teen you have noticed change in behavior when he started hanging with the new friend. Let him talk and listen carefully without attacking the new friend.
If strained relationships result, Dr.Anthony Kane of familyresource.com advises parents to choose a trusted friend to help. An objective individual may be able to talk with teen.
Getting the teen involved in sports and church groups seems to have a good affect.
Say No To Drugs and Alcohol in High School
Discuss counseling with teen if all else fails.
Do not change schools unless teen desires a fresh start. Do not transfer against child's will.
Psychologists say that most teens want guidance, even if they will not admit it. They say if the teen has a good upbringing, the young man should eventually realize the importance of his returning to good patterns of behavior. If the child decides to end the friendship you might ask what other friends are important. This may give hope for a future with these friends. No matter what the result, you should never give up.
The efforts you make during the years when teens begin to move away from you and toward their friends should pay off. Working through the problems over friendships will make you and your child stronger. Some parents and teens may not be as successful as others. No one needs to beat himself up over failure, as the important issue is the effort you put into it. Your child is yours forever, and recalling the teen years later might make you smile and be proud of the joint effort toward success.
*not their real names - situation known by author
Did you ever deal successfully with an undesirable friend of your teen?
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