ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Teen Hangs Out With Bad Friend; Advice for Parents

Updated on March 8, 2015
brakel2 profile image

Helping others through her research and writing meets an important goal for Audrey. She has spent many hours on this goal in her career.

Teens sometimes choose bad friends. The bad friend could change for the better due to  friend's influence.
Teens sometimes choose bad friends. The bad friend could change for the better due to friend's influence. | Source

Teen Hangs Out With Bad Friend

What happens when your teen hangs out with a bad friend?. That is the leading concern of every parent today. Do you forbid the teen to hang around with this friend? Do you adopt a wait and see philosophy? When it becomes serious, do you transfer your teen to a different school? Do you talk to the parents, the school, or a counselor? Will your child turn into a bad teen? These questions all cross a parents mind while muddling through the situation. One way to solve it is the way John's parents handled the situation.

*Story of John and Willie

John and Willie were friends since 3rd grade and lived a few doors from each other. The friendship went fairly well until they got into high school. Willie began to get involved with drugs. John's mother called a guidance center. The counselor told her that if the good teen is strong enough, he could help his friend and turn him around. If the good teen has a good family background, it is unlikely that he will take the path to drugs. She advised John's mother to "keep a watchful eye." If the situation becomes serious or dangerous, it is time for action. John's mother followed her advice.

Psychologists say that teens can influence druggies in a positive manner.
Psychologists say that teens can influence druggies in a positive manner. | Source

After a few years with no catastrophic incidents, a break-in occurred in John's garage with valuable items stolen. The police advised John's father to check flea markets, as the goods will probably end up there from a pawnshop. This suggestion worked, and the stolen goods were traced back to John's friend Willie. Following this unfortunate incident, John's father pressed charges, and the friendship ended. Soon, Willie's family moved away from the neighborhood. This is a success story that seemed like a miracle to John's family but a sad ending for Willie. Family unity is so importance in the success of a family.

Importance of Family Unity

Hopefully, parents have worked toward building a strong relationship with their children based on love and appreciation.. When a crisis arises, the foundation to handle situations may be in place. When the child chooses a friend who is a troublemaker, they can sit down and work through the situation. Following are the steps toward a successful solution to friendship problems.

Don't beat yourself up about failure over the issue of a teen and bad friends, as the important issue is the effort you put into it. Your child is yours forever, and recalling the teen years later might make you smile and be proud of the joint effort toward success .

Family Unity

Family unity is present in this photo.
Family unity is present in this photo. | Source

Advice for Parents.

Do not forbid the friendship, as that tactic may make the teen rebel. The exception is the occurrence or threat of danger. Nina Mounts, Assistant Professor of Psychology at Northern Illinois University, offers that advice.

Become acquainted with friends and friend's parents

Keep the communication open, and tell the teen what your expectations are, and ask what is happening. Remind teen of the boundaries. Stress your love and appreciation for the teen and that you will always be there..

If his grades are dropping, talk about why this is occurring. Use the school counselors and teachers as a support system.

Know where your children are at all times.

You can finally tell the teen you have noticed change in behavior when he started hanging with the new friend. Let him talk and listen carefully without attacking the new friend.

If strained relationships result, Dr.Anthony Kane of familyresource.com advises parents to choose a trusted friend to help. An objective individual may be able to talk with teen.

Getting the teen involved in sports and church groups seems to have a good affect.

Teens can have fun together playing sports.
Teens can have fun together playing sports. | Source
Drugs influence high school teens and others
Drugs influence high school teens and others | Source

Say No To Drugs and Alcohol in High School

Source

Discuss counseling with teen if all else fails.

Do not change schools unless teen desires a fresh start. Do not transfer against child's will.

Psychologists say that most teens want guidance, even if they will not admit it. They say if the teen has a good upbringing, the young man should eventually realize the importance of his returning to good patterns of behavior. If the child decides to end the friendship you might ask what other friends are important. This may give hope for a future with these friends. No matter what the result, you should never give up.

Conclusion

The efforts you make during the years when teens begin to move away from you and toward their friends should pay off. Working through the problems over friendships will make you and your child stronger. Some parents and teens may not be as successful as others. No one needs to beat himself up over failure, as the important issue is the effort you put into it. Your child is yours forever, and recalling the teen years later might make you smile and be proud of the joint effort toward success.

*not their real names - situation known by author

Poll

Did you ever deal successfully with an undesirable friend of your teen?

See results

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • brakel2 profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Selig 

      5 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

      Thanks Faith for the read and your positive compliments. You are right about importance of teen years. No one prepares us for the various stages of kids' lives. I always talked to others , made phone calls and tried to be there for my kids. We just do the best we can. I read a hub about your son and know you are a good mother. Praying helps. Blessings and good luck with your writing. Audrey

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 

      5 years ago from southern USA

      Excellent article that all parents of teens should read! Teens are such challenging years for both the teen and the parents. The parents really do need to get to know their children's friends and just in doing so, can help them from going down the wrong road.

      Voted up ++++ and sharing

      God bless, Faith Reaper

    • brakel2 profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Selig 

      5 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

      Hi Glstng Thanks for reading my hub and commenting, It is scary and exciting during the teen years. You always hear about kids changing schools and being unhappy. I knew a mom who forbade her very intelligent teen to hang with a bad teen, and it had an unhappy ending. Contacting a counselor who works with teens can really pay off. Good luck with your writing. I will look for your hubs.

    • GlstngRosePetals profile image

      GlstngRosePetals 

      5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      Great article! Wonderful tips for a new parent with teens. Leting them grow and explore is exciting and scary all at the same time. Voted up!!

    • brakel2 profile imageAUTHOR

      Audrey Selig 

      6 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

      Hi peacnpurple - Thank you for reading my hub and for your kind comments. Be sure to show your friend the article, as just a few changes or talk with the son could make a difference. Parents sometimes try everything and nothing works with teens.If she wants more help, she might talk with the guidance counselor at school or a psychologist. Good luck with your writing and good luck to your friend.

    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 

      6 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      Very useful tips. I should share this hub with my friend. She's having problem with her son attitude and behaviour. He wants to dropout school and stick to his gang. My friend is having a bad and rough time now. Thanks for sharing. I am sure she will appreciate your help.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)