- Family and Parenting
The Causes of Temper Tantrums in Kids
Frustration in a Kid's Behavior
Parenting Toddlers can be Frustrating
A child with a temper tantrum who throws toys around and won't take no for an answer.
During the ages of one year old right till seven years old a child can how their tantrums very clearly.
What causes such temper tantrums?
Any one can throw a temper tantrum, for example, if your cell phone doesn't work, you sometimes do get tied up in a notch and fling the device in mid air.
Also, bang your fist on the table when the remote you are not familiar with doesn't work.
So, you have been there at some point in your life.
Toddlers get all frustrated when playing with toys, or trying to fix in the blocks into the perfect fit. When such games don't work out for children they tend to become temperamental, and scream out their own actions.
When you have other children over to visit, and your child doesn't like sharing, that can cause many screams and shouts.
Children don't often share. They don't want another child of their age touching their toys, be it old or new.
Those who have difficulty sharing need support and guidance.
No-one likes to be told "You've got to", and it won't help foster feelings of generosity.
Sharing simply isn't a concept preschoolers can understand.
They think that the world revolves around them alone, and if someone doesn't like it, that's tough.
A reluctance to share is pretty normal, at least until the age of three, but, as your child gets older he/she will become less egocentric, and will start to identify with other's feelings.
Sharing dozen't come naturally to a two year old, or a three to four year old, though this maybe done do it to please mom, if told so.
Children have to acquire the ability to share and it's a skill that develops gradually over the first three years of life.
Fewer than-threes are still very much into parallel play that is playing alongside other children, but not with them. At around three they start playing comparatively.
Willing to share
Although learning to share is an important part of a child's development, there are factors that will influence willingness.
Feeling secure is important. If it’s part of a child's experience that when something is given away he/she never gets it back, or if a child never knows who or what will be there from day-to-day, he is less likely to be able to share.
With a secure, consistent family life, whether with two parents or one, they'll be more ready to share.
Children who haven't been with other children before starting preschool and haven't had to share may find it more difficult, this situation is fairly rare.
At preschool children have opportunities to observe what's going on and learn how to behave, and adults assist children to share, help them to learn to negotiate and talk to them about taking turns and swapping.
Sharing is among children, depends on the upbringing of the child.
Taking your child to friends for a play day and when it is time to go home can leave your child feeling frustrated to leave so soon.
A good idea would be to talk about the play day and mention that you got to be home earlier to do other stuff. Always talk to your child in a calm tone. In this way they will have a fair understanding of your activities for the rest of the day.
Parents must enlighten their child's mind on how things are done around the house, be connected. Tell your child the playtime will be for a longer time on another day.
Sometimes if your child lacks attention it can cause temper tantrums.
The problem with many kids both parents work and in some cases kids are left in the care of nannies or with grandmothers. It does make a difference if children don't spend enough time with their parents.
Being tossed from one end to the other makes a child feel insecure and not well cared for. The behavior of the child can change.
Negative attention for any child is shown through their eyes and is better than no attention at all. Let your child know you care for and love them when they are in good behavior.
The attention of parents is very important.
Always allow your child a choice of activities never be in control at all times. In this way your child feels free to choose and won't feel reprimanded or restricted.
You can't always say no to your child.
Avoid your child from building up frustration deviate from that moment. Instead, get a book to read or a toy to play with to get the child’s mind away from the temper tantrums.
It even happens in the store if a child wants a chocolate, a packet of crisps or some kind of sweet, and right away you would see the frustration explode that is if the treat is not bought for them. I have seen kids perform in stores on the aisle floor screaming with anger and they roll around on the floor out for that item or a toy, or for whatever reason that need has to be met.
Distraction is a good way of avoiding such tantrums.
Children even bite from temper tantrums, that is so uncontrollable.
When children don't have a stable living life many emotions can be a problem, anger, frustration, sadness, if not fed on time hunger can be another reason, but not many parents can see the cause of the problem.
Always be by your child's side, if you leave your child alone while in a temper tantrum state of mind your child would feel abandoned or alone.
Talk to children let them know you are there and make them feel safe.
In a temper tantrum state it is not easy to make it right the moods are different and uncontrollable, the child is not listening to you or to what has been said.
Show your child you care, you love them, you are there, pay attention to their needs, never ignore what they ask you for, be the right parent and don’t make you child feel neglect or abandonment. A toddler needs to be with their parents.
Don't give to your child what they can't have but make them get out of that temper tantrum mind with the thought of another activity.
I know of a child who was neglected and had stayed with family members. The family members didn't have much of parenting skills and treated the child poorly, the fragile child, a toddler was frustrated, cried, and was not happy living in those conditions, but that couldn't be helped.
Only when the child was about four years old did she go back to her parents and from then on the little girl started showing good results in her behavior.
The tantrums won't disappear overnight but you will notice a change in your child's behavior once you spend time with them as often as you can to make the problem to eventually fall away.
Any parent who thinks they are the best parent and stable parent can be affected with this kind of behavior patience is key to staying calm and to fix the problem.
Tantrums can be embarrassing in public places.
You got to teach your child not to be rude and frustrated over what they can't have and once you do that in time with proper communication things can look up and feel good too.
A parent must stand their ground but also don't be too harsh.
Depending on the age of the child the temper tantrums can be used for different aspects.
If something is wrong a two year old will show you or tell you and for a seven year old the tantrum is used to show their feelings.
Children need to be loved
Does your toddler show you Temper Tantrums?
© 2013 Devika Primić