Ten Ways To Annoy Your Parents (At Any Age)
My sister and I are constantly finding new ways to wind up our parents. Generally she does it deliberately, whereas with me it’s more of an accident. My advice is that on the whole you pick one parent and stick to annoying them. We also usually try to get our dad on side and the three of us gang up on my mum, but that is not always necessary and often the fact he doesn’t know works better.
1. Climbing into bed with them so there’s not enough room for everyone to fit – We tested this recently and yes, I know that I’m 22 and a bit old for mischief like this, but it was my sister’s idea. My dad was already in bed, trying to sleep so my sister grabbed my arm and we both climbed into the bed. When my mum came in the room she’d have to stand there looking like an idiot asking us to please get out of the bed. My sister told me beforehand ‘don’t just back down, the more annoyed she gets the more we win.’ I felt like we were going into battle. Of course my mum walked in the room, saw us in the bed and walked back out claiming she was going to sleep in my sister’s room.
2. Hiding in a cupboard – While this might see like something a 4 yr old would do, it has the added element of surprise. No mother (or father) expects to see their 20 year old daughter jumping out of their en-suite shower just as they’re drifting off to sleep. This was one of several plans devised whilst hijacking the bed. My dad (being in the bed) was privy to this particular plan, which in the end we abandoned because we thought that giving mum a heart attack probably wouldn’t really count as winning. However, when my mum suggested that she was going to sleep in my sister’s bed, my sister immediately jumped out of the bed and into the shower cupboard ... and then began giggling profusely, which probably gave her away.
3. Don’t Tell Dad – This one doesn’t work as well as it used to because I think we did it too much. Basically, me and my sister would be chatting about anything, or talking to our mum or something and when my dad walks in one of us says really loudly ‘yes, ok, just don’t tell dad.’ This really works on anyone, I think actually my mum started it to annoy my sister (who has to know what’s going on) but now we all just do it to each other. In a similar vein, if you mumble something under your breath and then when a parent asks what you said, you say ‘oh it doesn’t matter.’ They get really annoyed at that.
4. Pitting parents against one another – Ask one parent for a favour, like ‘could you give me a lift to ...’ and when that parent tells you that you have to walk/get some form of public transport, you go to the other parent and say ‘mum/dad said that you would give me a lift into town.’ You have to make sure that the first parent hears what you say but make it seem like they weren’t supposed to hear.
5. When are you going to buy me .... – This works best if it’s something there is no chance your parents will buy you. For example, my sister wants a Mini. Whenever my dad talks about cars, she asks when she’s going to get a Mini. The only way she will ever get a Mini is if she buys it for herself but she still asks about it even though she also knows she will never have one bought for her. This works especially well for us because it is also combined with me asking my dad if I can buy the current car from him (because I love our current car) and my mum going on about how much she likes Fiat 500’s, which I happen to think are horrible little cars.
6. General bullying – Yeah, I know that’s a little mean but you should know how much your parents can take and know how far you can stretch the boundaries. This generally works better on my mum than my dad, just because of who they are. My mum has more qualities that we can take the piss about. For example, she always uses her hands when she talks, so we always copy her doing that. She also takes her time doing everything, plodding around the house, leaving everything to the last minute, which is something that irritates my dad so much. So this provides endless amusement for us.
7. Giggling – Usually this is accidental because it is very difficult to fake laugh and make it seem genuine, but I guess it is more annoying to be genuinely laughed at anyway. Also, not laughing when they make a joke seems to work just as well, or fake laughing when they want you to find them genuinely funny. It is even better when you laugh but don’t tell them why you are laughing, even if it’s not about them they still get paranoid, and paranoia equals winning!
8. Who’s your favourite? – A new twist on an old favourite. This only works when there are two of you. Don’t fight over who’s the favourite, that’s annoying for parents but not as annoying as: ‘I know I’m your favourite,’ ‘yes, I know you are, they just don’t love me as much as they love you.’ Parents expect you to fight over who’s the favourite, they don’t always expect you to doubt their love like that. Then they have to affirm their love for you which makes it sound like they are picking you as the favourite, and then they’re just digging themselves a hole.
9. Incessant Arguing – This is certainly my forte. All my life I’ve argued with my mum when she wouldn’t let me do something I wanted to do, or just generally when I disagree with her. I’m better at it than her though, so she invariably loses or has to concede that my argument is better (even though she still wants to stand her ground). Often I pick a fight over something I don’t really care about, just because arguing is so funny.
10. Watching the same things on TV – When I was younger it used to annoy my parents when I flicked channels during the adverts. Now it annoys my mum when I watch the same programmes all the time. Friends and Scrubs are regulars for me and she always rolls her eyes when she seems me putting them on yet again. I like having them on in the background while I’m doing things on the computer. Then there’s the football. Sometimes there will be football on three or four times a week that my dad and I will watch and my mum absolutely despairs when she walks in the room and sees a match just starting. My dad has ultimate tv supremacy so there is nothing she can say or do about it. Muahaha!