Ten common mistakes parents make
Friendly parent makes a happy child.
You love your child, don’t you? You buy him the best things in the world and you also sacrifice your requirements so that you can concentrate on what your child wants. No one can question the love you have for your child. But, you will be surprised that there is one person who doubts your love and has certain reservations about you. Who is that person? Does it amaze you to know that it is your own child who sometimes even dislikes you for your attitude towards him?
- You always compare your child with others. ‘John is brilliant in studies and you lag so far behind’. This sort of comparisons is hated by your child and if you think that you can spur him to do better if you compare him with others, you will be proved wrong.
- You buy whatever you child asks. You earn well and so you could afford it. You want to quell your guilt consciousness of not being able spend time with your child by getting him world class things. He will like the things you get for him, but it can never compensate for his craving for some close moments with you.
- You do not show you love in a demonstrative way and your child is left in doubt whether you truly love him or not. When you are angry with him, you show it very openly. Then why do you not show your love openly also? You should demonstrate that you love him by hugging him, holding him close to your heart and looking at him with affection.
- Do you appreciate your child? He will crave for it. However small his achievements might be, you should appreciate him and this will encourage him to do everything better and better.
- Whenever relatives or friends visit you, you take the opportunity to list out his drawbacks when he is present. You do not understand how bitter and resentful he becomes when he hears you talking about him in such a negative way.
- He wants to share his apprehensions and fears with you, but he is utterly disappointed when you do not do so. You are so sapped from your hectic work schedule that you do not have the energy to listen to him and he is baffled as to why his parents never pay attention to him.
- You want your child to do things as you want him to do it. You forget that he is an individual and he wants to do things his way. When you thrust your ideas on him, he hates it.
- You should trust your child that he would do no wrong. How can you have this trust? If you have molded him the proper way and if you are truly close to your child you will know him upside down. This trust will make you averse to question every action of his and he feels comfortable that his parents have given him the right amount of freedom and he never wants to do anything which you will disapprove.
- You take him for shopping and pile him with things which you think he will like. But he fumes inside that you do not ask him about his preference.
- You talk to him in a bossy way and he dislikes the commanding tone in your voice. You can make him do things as you want to if your tone is friendly and affable.
You should be more of a friend to your child than a parent. When you want to play the role of a parent to the dot, you do not know about the true needs of your child, but if you act a friend to him, he confides in you, trusts you, adores you and always looks upon you as someone who will be beside him in times of his needs.
© 2013 mathira