Ten top things that destroy your child's happiness
‘Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity, they think of you.’ –H. Jackson Brown. Jr
Your child depends on you to develop his character and to inculcate in him self- confidence so that he can face the world with assurance. You adore your child and want him to be a good human being. What do you do to improve his character? ‘I am very strict with my child and I do not hesitate to punish him if he commits any mistake.’
Is this the mentality you have in bringing up your child? A grave mistake! When you are too strict with him he fears you and withdraws from you. You should be a friend to your child so that he looks upon you as a guide and not as a punishing monster. In your eagerness to mold your child, you commit certain mistakes which have a reversal effect.
- You compare your child with others thinking that it will motivate him. But you never know that he becomes resentful. He doesn’t like to be compared with others. Will you like it if you are compared with others? You will not. The same applies to your child also.
- You do not appreciate him and he feels lost. You aim high for your child and when he falls short of it, you feel that he does not deserve any appreciation. When you appreciate the small success he gets, he is motivated to try for bigger success.
- You show your anger in a forceful way and he hates it. You do not talk with him, ask him to stay in his room and order him not come out of it till you say so. Not an advisable thing to do!
- You spend your time before computer or TV and do not have time to talk with him and he feels lonely.
- You do not ask his opinion and take arbitrary decisions thinking that he is too young to make a choice. You will be surprised to know that he would have felt happy if you had included him in any decision regarding him.
- You yell at him in front of guests and he cringes inside in shame and embarrassment.
- You think that if you buy costly things for your child it will make him happy and satisfied, but sadly he is not. He just wants you to spend some quality time with him, but you constantly deny him that.
- You spank him, call him names and think that he will forget it. Do you know that he harbors bitterness against you when he is persistently punished and abused?
- You do not demonstrate the love for your child and he thinks that you do not love him. Unless you show your love openly he will not feel emotionally secure.
- When you fight with your spouse in front of him, he is completely shattered and feels jailed in his own home.
You love your child, but do not know how to show it. You think that your child will not mind your punishment, when in true fact he hates you for this. He yearns for appreciation from you and when it is not forthcoming his disappointment makes him resentful at a young age itself. Treat him like a friend and he likes you, consult him on any decisions regarding him and he feels a loving sense of belonging.
© 2013 mathira