The Boy Teacher and The Man Student; Cancer and Other Issues
What to Do?
We Do Not Do "Well" Here. Well is a Default Position
Cancer is not normal. Cancer is not formal. It does not dress up right. Cancer can be all kinds. Cancer is something that can heal other issues. With cancer people come out and love. The boy is looking concerned as he is reaching an understanding of disease. Our home does not “do” cancer. So maybe the ignoring may cause other emotional issues. Solutions about cancer can and does cause more emotional issues than physical in my opinion.
B: What is it like having cancer, I mean you seem normal.
F: Funny that question boy. You know I am not normal.
B: Dad you know what I mean, you seem normal for you.
F: Maybe I should show that stuff more. I do not want you to think you should hide issues.
B: Dad I know about it but you do not show it.
F: Dierkers do not suffer. We take it on the chin and keep fighting, that is who we are, sorry.
B: Dad you are so strange. You go to doctor’s appointments a lot.
F: That is just BS so they can make money treating me. Did I kick your butt in Volleyball?
B: hihihi I love it when you say “butt”. You sound funny.
F: What? I emphasize the “B” or the “U” too much?
B: Nope, the “tt” too much and it sounds like titty.
F: Son you have issues.
B: No dad, you have issues like cancer.
F: No son, it is not allowed to have issues, we have solutions. But we have to talk issues out.
B: That makes no sense.
F: Good on you boy, that makes no sense. Maybe this way, we have issues so we talk them out so they are not issues. I know that makes little sense but trust me on this one.
B: You give me a headache, talk sense. Or can you?
F: Nope, I just me.
B: Dad is mom right? You just live in the clouds?
F: Well son that is not for you to ponder. It is illegal to live in the clouds until you learn and preach and teach after a fancy pantsy education and years of work inside the clouds. Then you can live up there.
B: I think I get that. Is that why mom stresses out so much? She is right here down with me?
F: Does she play soccer with you? Perhaps I am more down to earth.
Is It Right?
So we move onto Legos and build a jet and some kind of town. It is a hassle. “Dad, watch TV and leave me alone.” This is right. I should not be the boss. So the TV goes on and I check email and do some work outside. Then insist he does some with me. Of course I have been surreptitiously watching him the whole time. Absolutely nothing better than watching a boy build stuff. OK maybe watching a daughter make a collage could rate up there.
Dang I wish I knew what I was doing as a father.
B: Dad our terrarium is strange. The hissing cockroaches are turning white.
F: Watch they will shed that.
B: They are molting?
F: Dang fine understanding son.
B: I read and Rico said that we lose like a million cells a day.
F: That is cool, you have that understanding, how about a billion?
B: No way, that is cray cray.
B: But maybe I get it. That is amazing. But it kind of makes some sense. But that means we are actually different every day. Wow and every week and completely dude every month and like our birthdays, wow.
F: I never thought of it that way. I wonder how we can remember stuff.
B: OK, another headache. Check out this rubber band gun Addy gave me for Thanksgiving.
F: Let me put on glasses so you do not hit my eyes. The one thing that might not heal.
B: Cool, now I can shoot you in the head. Thanks for getting me the bag of rubber bands. Will mom get mad about them on the floor?
F: Deal with it.
B: You mean, clean them up. Oh, then I have more to shoot at you.
F: Hey buddy, do what is right. Do not do it to please another. They will be pleased that you did what is right. And if they do not wipe their dirt from your sandals and move along.
B: Dad you always talk about the Bible.
F: How did you know that was Bible talk?
B: I don’t know. I just know. And I know there is another. Something about not being telling other people what to do, but just do it.
F: I do not mean to teach you scripture yet. You need to decide for yourself.
B: Dad I just learn it. I don’t know if it is right like you say. I mean you do not say if it is right.
A River Runs Through It
Freedom to Not Be Free
Ain't We All Got Trouble
So we move along and things get a little tougher. So I give my elder boy a call. He answers up San Francisco way. He is dealing with all his business stuff and his great gal from Columbia. But he takes the time. He is the best. He must have gotten it from his mom. A great lady who impresses me still. So the call is hard.
F: What should I do about Hang and her driving? Two wrecks in two days and I gave the keys yesterday and rode with her yesterday and it was scary.
B: Dad you had me ride with her. I thought it was just splitting up people. You tricked me. She is scary on the road. And she should not be driving my little brother. You put me in there to see.
F: Well OK I am busted. It was a manipulation on my part and then again with your sister home. I am a SOB bastard. I risked your well-being for your opinion. Life sucks and then you die, hihihihi.
B: OK you jackass, you need to deal softly you cannot be harsh. Boundaries are good but yelling solves no problems.
F: I hate you.
B: Yeah that is why you called me.
F: Can you see me snarling over the phone.
B: Dad let us get this straight. You are screwed. She is your angel. But!!! You would not even be alive without her walking you through.
F: F--- She is also throwing things out that are perfectly fine and putting things in places we cannot find them. I am so worried and do not know how to act.
B: You taught us to act in love and things happen right.
F: You are not helping at all son. Tell me what to do. Not your ethereal crap I live in. I need some practical advice. I am not doing this right. Praying is not working.
B: Praying is not for advice. It is for peace in acceptance.
F: I was stupid to send you off to UC for degrees in art and philosophy. You are a pain in my arse. So I do not need to read between the lines? Get her a little advice from outside of me as that is not confrontational. One more time, sh—
B: Stand up and deal with it dad. She has worked hard to take care of you, now stand up and take care of her.
F: You are a pr---
B: I know, but you know or you would not have called me.
F: I love you buddy and you make great points. Can I call you tomorrow?
B: Nope, I am tired of your issues. LoL. And I love you.