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The Boy Teacher and the Father Student 44; “I Dropped The Ball”.

Updated on December 7, 2018
Ericdierker profile image

Holding degrees in philosophy and Law. Formal studies or certificates or degrees in business, theology, insurance and security. Ex-preacher.

I Wonder About Better

Hey boy. In 10 years you will take a picture of me doing that.
Hey boy. In 10 years you will take a picture of me doing that. | Source

Sometimes Bad Means Good

Life really does not follow the script we write. Or even the one we right. We just get to ride along and go for it. I have righted some wrongs that should have been darned well left alone. We do not get to be the director of this production we call life. Now how in heck do you teach this to a child who must believe that he is the one to make a difference? Perhaps most have not ridden a horse. I would figure even less have had the good fortune to ride a horse without saddle or reins, bareback. Using only knees and the mane to hopefully nudge in a direction in general.

Why would my dad and “uncle” Dwayne do that to a boy? The Miller Ranch about ’65. Why did they think it was proper for a boy to understand he is not in full control? Maybe to teach him to let the horse run and not control it in the niggly ass part of the ride. Nothing more freeing than letting go of the mane and just hugging. A lot more tame than the one I rode on a drive later.

F: Why do you cry sometimes?

B: I told you I don’t know why, I just do.

F: Is it to get what you want?

B: Maybe sometimes.

F: Maybe because you get hurt?

B: I think I do that to get your attention about my ouchy.

F: Do you think that you don’t need to?

B: See dad you always want answers and I just don’t know. Sometimes like you being happy I just get sad and need to cry.

F: I cry.

B: Dad you are weird you don’t cry when it hurts. You just cuss. I think that is funny. Why not just cry like me? You cry about poetry.

F: Well son or San you are right, better to cry than get mad. Do you know why you are named My San?

B: Something about an American Saint that makes no sense at all. But I know san means saint and My in Vietnamese means American.

F: And Gabriel your American name?

B: A bad ass Archangel but you almost named me Michael about another one.

F: I figure I talk too much.

B: It is OK dad. People say that old people repeat themselves because they forget. But I just ignore you.

My Mistakes Don't Mean Much to a Boy

My Sons

Go figure. I did not mess them up too much.
Go figure. I did not mess them up too much. | Source

Each Raindrops Different

We wonder sometimes about passing on a legacy. I have to admit I have given this thought with my four children. It would seem to me that that is not such a good idea. Maybe if they carry on with love then that is the best. Who would bequeath being jailed on four continents to his children? So we don’t pass down our hardships but our glory and what a load that is. “Dad let’s play the ‘year’ game.” Where were in 1977? “Son that is a whole year. Get closer”. Where were you on your birthday in 1976?

Easy peasy. Sitting in an outdoor café at a place called Champs Elysees swilling beer and hard Cointreau shots. Don’t ask about the gal I knew before I met your mom.

B: Dad, where will I be in 1999?

F: Well that time passed boy. Let’s see maybe in 2099? About a million years away. I think you will be hugging your grand children. You will only be about 80 something. And you are not like me. You eat real healthy from birth.

B: Dad it is weird to eat right now so that I live until 90 years old. You said that is too old anyway. Right?

F: Maybe I should think about that more. I said that?

B: Dad you do not remember half of what you told me.

F: See the point son? If we are just repeating what we thought or did is that OK?

B: No way dude am I thinking about that.

So we stand out in the pouring rain. Kind of just putting our face into the rain. We are happy and then the boy expresses a thought I never did think. “dad each raindrop is different just like they say about snowflakes.” Well that requires some thought and the response comes most naturally. “Son that is a good point and do you know what that point is?” “The one on your head” hihihi. “No son, we are all different and special and the good spice of life is the raindrops and people we meet.” “Dad you are a freak”. “Can’t you just talk normal?” Sorry buddy but I gave up normal a long time before I even met your mom.

4 Mile Deep

Sorry but you do not get here in 100+ heat by whinging of being nice.
Sorry but you do not get here in 100+ heat by whinging of being nice. | Source

Give it Up For a Good Life of The Boy

We Do It For Us

B: Can I take off my socks to jump in mud puddles?

F: Yes and you can go barefoot instead of wearing those grock thingies. But you will be more comfortable wearing that stuff before your hot bath. Learn yourself I just wash dishes and clean and cook so what do I know?

B: I think I will just leave them on, it makes me think that you made that mistake and I don’t need to.

F: I can’t believe you can thing so sophisticated. You scare me boy. Would you like to go to meetings with young people that are like you in the brains?

We just let it settle like a good broth. I think he just got an inkling that he is not normal. Perhaps I should help make him normal. The boy who flew to close to the sun crashed and burned. I would like to believe in such notions. What the heck do you do with a child, pre-teen that is smarter than you? I am a sissy pants so I just ask God. I am trying to make him understand that he is like all of his buddies. But two 100% scores and a Math Excellence award this week makes it questionable if I can contain the intellect. So I go to the default mode which I know will serve him well.

F: Hey buddy give,, who you love the most in order. You know.

B: You already know it is mom and then Jesus and then you and then my brothers and sisters.

F: I think too hard and I think you should stay with that. But remember we still love all grandpas and grandmas even though they are in heaven and not here.

B: Duh!!!

F: I am not feeling great. You know, just off the mark. Kind of a weak and pukey thing. Maybe something I ate. Or those new medications for cancer.

B: Dad do not bull me. I know. It is your cancer. I know all about it and that you will beat it.

F: Now boy do we do well around here?

B: Dad I know, we do not do well, we do great. Every day better than the last. But now that sounds like a robot.

F: There is an idea and it goes like this; This is the day that the Lord has made and I shall rejoice and be glad in it.

B: Dad it is raining so hard I cannot even play in it. The rain hurts.

F: So cool for us. I went by the bodega with garbage bags and the homeless folks had gone to the city for shelter. You know why large garbage bags?

B: I know dad. They cut holes in them and use them like raincoats or whatever.

F: Just hug me boy and shut up. These are raindrops not tears. Each of us suffer when one suffers and it hurts me. It is just one of those “it is” ideally boppers.

F: Dang now you made me all wet. I reckon that is a good wet.

B: Dad get a grip.

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    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Ah Manatita you know that I could not be a poet

      I can rhyme away and don't you know it

      But God did not gift with words so neat

      Like you a lamp and lantern of so sweet

      Perhaps some day I will write a verse

      I hope that day will see you not in terse.////

      And so on to my youngest one;///

      Son see those stars so wonderfully bright

      We love the day but must honor the night

      Feelings we share are like a heavenly thing

      Like great words we share and sing

      I do not know what and how tomorrow may be

      But for sure I know you will be with me

      The cut, the owie will all slip far away

      As long as we live together another day.////

      Skill we lack Manatita but love has our back.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 

      5 weeks ago from london

      Tell him I'm your good buddy and you are sending it to me, so I can write a great poem for him, words covered with lots of ice-cream. So you can send it to me. ceeccil@hotmail.com

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Fair enough Manatita, I figure a current picture is acceptable at his age. We talked about that and he told me if a picture was worth a thousand words, why would I ruin my words with a picture.Crazy maybe?

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 

      5 weeks ago from london

      Pretty mature conversation to me. The kid is even studying the rain. I'd like to see a current pic of him. Until, have a great Sunday.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Allow me to digress. Your term to me means love. Our translation calls it "like". Like Aramaic to Latin. The only true language is that of love which we share.

      I try to go with caritatem fraternitatis which kind of means our fraternity of love. Look, don't throw me out for my degree in linguistic philosophy. I did not name our first capitol Philadelphia.

    • Sean Dragon profile image

      Ioannis Arvanitis 

      5 weeks ago from Greece, Almyros

      I am 100% with you, my brother! And I am proud of your Greek!

      Is breá liom tú!

      Sean

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Dora our life is the big "let go". I lost the ability to hold tight decades ago.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Bill we have a joke about intelligence in our home. "Dad if you are genius why can't you tie your shoes right?"

      So the boy could not get his shoes just right and asked if he was a genius. We can't keep up around here.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Sean for the first time I suggested an "urban" walk but the boy insisted on a local hike down the canyon way. At some point after we spent a bit throwing rocks down at the creek, he asked me "why do we block out the sun with sunblock?". For fun I answered him "εν ξέρω and I am sure my pronunciation stunk but I love languages. I figure if you cannot say "Σε αγαπώ" in several languages you are missing out.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      5 weeks ago from The Caribbean

      Eric, the first conversation in this article is one of, if not the favorite. "You always want answers and I just don’t know." I think every family member has thought that of another.

      Both of your sons are gorgeous in that photo which speaks volumes. Part of what it says is, "No. You didn't mess them up." More blessings on you and your family life.

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 

      5 weeks ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Another great installment, Eric! You've given us an interesting combination of light-heartedness and soberness. The lessons you write about affect us all. But I have to admit, I love the kid's line, "It is OK dad. People say that old people repeat themselves because they forget. But I just ignore you."

      Until next week . . .

    • Sean Dragon profile image

      Ioannis Arvanitis 

      5 weeks ago from Greece, Almyros

      Outstanding! My brother, I believe you are an Icarus who has learnt to respect the Sun and his wings! I love your boy.

      Fly as high as the Sun!

      Sean

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Tim, this evening I sat with my legs overhanging a 60 ft drop. I am scared of heights to the max. So as the moon showed itself he held my hand. And we ran instead of walked the last mile home. If we are ready to receive love is there.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Pamela I suggested the urban walk today and he insisted on the canyon hike. 3.5 miles turned into 3 hours and more rock throwing than is good. Not to worry, we warmed up first. For some reason he was surprised that I could run up a hill faster than him. I reckon we are all getting younger.

    • Tim Truzy info4u profile image

      Tim Truzy 

      5 weeks ago from U.S.A.

      Hi, Eric,

      Dropping the ball into a receiver's heart and arms is not such a bad thing. Your son, Gab, is very receptive to his dad. Not to mention, you couldn't have gone wrong naming the boy Michael or Gabriel.

      A legacy of love is an awesome gift. More people should do that.

      Much respect to a talented, respectable, and kind author,

      Sincerely,

      Tim

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      5 weeks ago from Sunny Florida

      I think the way you communicate with your son is awesome. You sound like a great father, and your son obviously trusts you, Very good article!

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Wow Linda, it is always a treasure to hear from you. Made me wonder about spices you use. Variety is the spice of life. Yet you are the salt of the earth. We will do our best to love the potatoes for "twice" baked tonight. Thank you for the appreciation of our bounty that you share.

    • Carb Diva profile image

      Linda Lum 

      5 weeks ago from Washington State, USA

      Oh goodness, Eric what a roller coaster ride! "People say that old people repeat themselves because they forget. But I just ignore you." You had me in stitches with that one, and then you spin off into talking of the legacy we leave our children, how unique each of us is (like a raindrop), helping the homeless, and how very special Gabe is and you have me near tears. You haven't dropped the ball at all.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Elijah, dropping the ball in our lexicon is taking your eye off the goal. Although we sometimes use it in a spiritual sense it is more about staying focused on a skill.

      But we play, Football, Futball, Baseball, Volleyball and Basketball. Sometimes we do a golf putting back and forth, which is really hard. Which normally means some type of "catching" and returning.

      So I turned the phrase here to express how sometimes we forget what is really important.

      Elijah when I was writing this I kept thinking of my father. He left me a legacy. He did not teach me what to think but rather how to think.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      5 weeks ago from Olympia, WA

      Your son and I have one important thing in common: we both had incredible fathers. :) Peace out, dude!

    • The0NatureBoy profile image

      Elijah A Alexander Jr 

      5 weeks ago from Washington DC

      I'm working to figure out what is the ball you dropped, Eric, or is that figuratively speaking?

      You said "We wonder sometimes about passing on a legacy. I have to admit I have given this thought with my four children. It would seem to me that that is not such a good idea." And I totally agree. Just like every raindrop and snowflake is different so is even human and we are born on earth to fulfill a particular purpose. If we never attempted to instruct our children or others how to be or have them join our 'whatever' the world would not have so much miserable people who don't know why they are. However, everything is 'karma' fulfilling the purpose of creation to teach human to become man who comprehend everything about what we call God that is doing all of our actions through us per Isaiah 45:7.

      Keep it up, my friend, you are raising him to be non-judgmental and ever questioning which is required to comprehend life - although you still use quite a few judgmental adjectives. LOL

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