- Family and Parenting
What is the Gift of Gentleness and Learning to be a Gentle Person
If you could put it in a bottle and sell it you'd make a fortune. Gentleness is a virtue, a gift we give to each other. Gentleness can be a quality or trait demonstrated by a person, but simply doing acts of kindness does not make a person gentle. And why would a person even want to be gentle?
What is gentleness?
We use the word "gentle" to describe many things. The rain, wind, waves, and even music are often described as gentle. A touch can be gentle, and so can the sound of one's voice. Even movement can be gentle. But what about people?
A gentleman, according to the dictionary, is a man who is courteous or mannerly. A gentlewoman comes from a good family or superior social position. Yet, a gentleman or gentlewoman doesn't necessarli have to possess the trait of gentleness.
I think gentleness is intertwined with kindness. If you are gentle, you are calm. Gentleness is a quality that comes from the heart and soul. Truly gentle people give of themselves, and they empathize with others. They establish peace.
Some associate gentleness with passivity and weakness. Not true! Actually gentle people are quite strong because they know how to remain calm and show restraint. When a gentle person becomes angry or frustrated, they keep emotions in check and control their reactions. They do not rage at others, rather they remain composed.
Books about gentleness
Why gentleness is good.
Gentleness can state people and decreases chaos. The result is less stress for everyone. Consider the followingame example: a teacher is trying to settle a class down so they can get back to the business of learning. In the classroom, there is much noise and chaos. Students are leaving their seats and talking way to much for any learning to occur. The teacher could choose to yell over the noise of the students, or argue with them. Instead the teacher tells the students in a neutral tone, "i'm ready to teach when you'receive ready to learn", and sits down to grade papers. The teacher chose to respond to students in a gentle manner, and the class reacted positively. Everyone felt less stressed and on tinted on with the daily activities.
Two reasons why gentleness was the right strategy: the amount of stress on the students depressed, and the teacher also taught her class how to respond in a gentle manner. She taught by example, not by threatening OR demanding. Learning to be a gentle is an important social skills we all need to practice.
How we can be gentle
1- Think before you react or respond. People often react too quickly to situations without taking time to think about how reactions and responses affect others.
2-React in a calm manner. Sometimes actions can appear threatening to others. Fold your arms or hands, or keep arms at sides to avoid appearing threatening. Also, speak in a normal speaking voice. Screaming only escalates the situation.
3- Learn to empathize with others. If you can learn to imagine what it's like to ask in anothr'so shoes, you can better understand that person and respond to them in a gentle way.
4- Respond with kindness. A oil negativits and think about ways to make a situation better. Don't worry about being right,; instead focus on what you can do to help others, and in turn, they will help you.
Being gentle is something you must work at, and it does not come easy. Some of the strongest people I have known have been very gentle, and through their actions they have shown others how to be kind. Gentleness is reflected in how you treat others. Try to respond to others in a gentle and loving way.
For more on life and relationships see:
- How to be Minnesota Nice: A Guide to Being a Good Person
Everyone can be "Minnesota Nice". Take time to smile, to be neighborly, to care for others. Helping others and respecting elders are ways to demonstrate "Minnesota Nice", being a good person.
- The Importance of Being a Good Neighbor
You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your neighbors. If you are lucky, you have good neighbors. But some neighbors are not pleasant and can make your life miserable at times. If you have good...
- Forgiveness: How and Why?
In life, some things don't always come easy, and forgiveness is often one of those things. When someone hurts you, especially someone close to you, it can be difficult to forgive them. Often we become angry...
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