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The Joys Of Motherhood "My Favorite Ways Of Bonding With My Kids"

Updated on October 11, 2015
Madonna Bugayong profile image

Madonna lives in Gardena, Ca with her 2 kids. She attends LATTC for Business and Psychology, and she's a survivor and human rights activist.

As our kids grow up and change they are adapting into patterns, routines and creating memories. It's not easy raising kids in a busy evolving society and its even harder doing it as a single mom without the other parent. I'm very close to my son and daughter and I love being around them and I have more fun in family nights than in my old club nights with the girls. A lot of times a good idea bounces off my mind about a new activity with my kids and we talk about it together and share ideas. We also come up with a good plan and we do it. The bond in a parent and child relationship is the most important one in your child's life because it effects them now and into adulthood. My specific style of parenting is simple, make it fun and filled with optimistic and resourceful knowledge.

By Rewarding

This past summer I made a list of different chores for my son and daughter that I taped to the fridge. They needed to learn the meaning of earning a dollar, the same way I learned. It's a daily reminder I created of different duties each person needs to complete in order to play outside with their friends on a particular day and to receive an allowance by the end of each week. For instance, my son has a list of outside chores like yard work, mowing the lawn and taking out the trash and stuff we recycled. My daugher has a list of inside chores like washing dishes, folding laundry and vacuming. They can also earn a bonus if needed. Bonuses are given when I have a special task like helping me look for pictures I use for my hubs or by motivating a specific goal, like improvement. They were mad at me at first and now my kids do all their chores daily by habit and the benefits too. But they're kids and sometimes they do forget minor things and I have to remind them or they're punished. My version of a payday was so funny to us the first time we did it, but when we were done they wanted to do it again. So we reinacted payday with different lines that we couldn't stop joking about and laughing at each other. My son loves a good laugh so he thanked me with a true Caron bear hug. My parenting style is all about educational and adventurous learning experiences. I made this fun by teaching them how to make money with a job, plus I like a clean tidy house and them earning money instead of asking for it. So, at the end of the pay period (week) I give them an allowance (check) and a bonus if needed. I gather them together and say it's payday and they're supposed to keep track of their own earnings with the jobs they had and then we go over it. After a figure is agreed on, I put the money (cash) in an envelope and write out their full name, date, amount and a special thank you note that they love.

Walking with my son and daughter in Downtown Los Angeles

Sharing a Hobby

I promote my kids to go after what they have most interest for in life and have a great love for. So, they stay active on spare time and can learn from. My daughter loves music and wanted to learn how to play an instrument in her music class at school and by coincidence chose the clarinet. This shocked us both because without any knowledge of ever knowing it, the clarinet was the exact same instrument I chose at her age while attending the same school and same class. As she grows, we are spending more quality time together because of our similar passions and hobbies now surfacing in our mother-daughter relationship. We practice playing songs together on her clarinet and she’s teaching me how to read the music notes again since I forgot. I got her real excited about our new hobby when I told her that I might buy a keyboard and play the piano again. We see things eye to eye and have great communication with each other and I can’t explain the happiness it’s bringing us because they’re so many words to describe it. She’s reminding me of myself at her age by her ways of thinking and similar actions that I do. She’s very smart and likes to show creativity in writing her stories and book reports. She gets straight to business when she has a project due and in a cute way being over dramatic if things don’t come out perfect. We both love that we share these traits and hobbies. She’ll come home from school and instantly we get to talking and I look forward to her Zany stories.

Holiday Activites

I think of my mom when it comes to this creative way to spend quality time with family. My youthful mom is lively and hip, she’s always changing from trends and she brought amusement to social events like Halloween, Easter etc. So we celebrated together as a family in a variety of ways that filled our home with spirit, love and joy for the whole month that each holiday fell on. With her help, I learned that it brings us together and forms our tradition as family. She had unique crafty ways to make decorations from home with everyday things. For instance on Christmas, we had all the traditional decorations like the tree and lights, but we changed the theme every year as opposed to collecting ornaments throughout the years. We added vibrant festive colors like Laker purple and teal ornaments with bright glitter and multi-color lights that twinkled. We would also spend a day making paper ornaments out of colorful and white construction paper, markers, stickers and scissors and with today’s Christmas hits on the radio with a bowl of homemade Kettle corn. My own tradition I started with my kids, after we're done we try and guess which snowflake each person made. We laugh at the crazy and cute styles that are taped all over the house for our enjoyment and we create the best memories from our holidays traditions.

My son #75 and his friend in the neighborhood

Youth Sports

It's no secret that my son loves playing football. He's played for the past 5 years and it's his true passion. He wants to play the sport professionally one day and I fully support his dream. I told my kids that I was very active their age and I even took weight training classes in high school so I can relate to the hard work and dedication it takes to play a sport. I try to teach them the importance it has on them, for healthier lifestyles and ways that it builds our good characters in us. When they were both in basketball we practiced at home on our court and we stretched too. They have some close friends that are neighbors that also played basketball and would come over when I was coaching my kids because I made it fun and it felt like PE (Physical Ed) at school to them. I started our practice with the same PE stretches like counting to 10 together out loud while doing cherry piclkers and then they did the drills I made up as we went along and the ones from their teams. I don't think it hit them quite yet, on how much love I have for them and how they fulfill my life with happiness. It's the reason why, I'm always giving them advice on everyday things and pushing them so they both succeed. They'll see it later on in life but not now. Kind of like how I'm seeing the reasonings now, for my parents ways of teaching and discipline. So when I work out with my son I teach him the proper techniques that I was taught so it pushes him on building his regimen as he grows up and by testing his strengths to help point out a weakness that can be improved. I take him to his practices and watch his interaction with his team and coaches to make sure he's staying focused and determined. I go to all of his games to root him on as he plays hard and he's always improving himself on the field. My daughter and I have fun volunteering with the snack shack with all the friends we made from our team. My son feels motivated and I’m proud of him because he's always thanking me and truly appreciates my efforts. I'm also proud of him because I also noticed an improvement in school from last year and that's his 1st priority as a student athlete.

My daughters favorite hard shelled taco family dinner night

Cooking Family Dinners

My parents are still married and while I was growing up we had nothing but good ole hearty home cooked meals and family dinners was our tradtition almost every night. My dad was the best and main cook of the family. At family parties they raved about his cooking abilities and loved his version of "ceviche Baja Style" a shrimp cocktail also mixed with crab, mussels, fish but with his own twist. He enjoys cooking from his soul and I could tell by the way he presents his dishes. He used different seasonings, natural ingredients, veggies and grade A beef, tri-tip being his favorite and one of our weekly dinners. If I asked him for his secrets he would say, "a little bit of this and a little bit of that, you tell me what secret ingredients you taste. I would guess most of them and by the end of our conversation I knew exactly how to cook it and that's how I learned. My dad’s good genes and passion for cooking were passed to me thankfully and I am just as or I'd like to tease him better. I'm very lucky that my parents sat us kids down at the dinner table every night of the week except on Fridays when we ate at a restaurant and a busy Saturday when we had left overs or fast food. I enjoy cooking for many reasons and one being that I'm a natural chef, meaning I know how to cook all types of foods. I know the taste of the ingredients in a dish and I add them as I go along enhancing it's flavor. I don't need any measurements and I can't read them on a box either because it confuses me. I make my meals from using fresh produce and Grade A meats and sauces or gravies from scratch. My kids have their favorites and they like when I'm trying out new recipes. They both love my version of baked mac and cheese and it's a party dish favorite. My daughter loves my hard shelled tacos and my son likes eating everything I cook and everything is his favorite. He cracks me up because he'll be the only person right there watching me when I'm trying out something new and he jumps when I need a taste tester. He's also, the first one to finish off a plate and literally lick of whatevers left off, then nonchalantly say it was ok but ask me for seconds. During our family dinners we're talking about our lives by sharing stories, our events happening and we always pray before we eat. Yes it's true, a family that prays together stays together.

What are your favorite ways to bond with your children?

We all have our unique styles of parenting and many beautiful memories and traditions as a family. Please share your favorite's so I can add them to my list and I hope you enjoyed reading my hub.

My Banana Pancakes- infused with brown sugar, honey & hazelnut coffee cream (1/2 cup)

Some of the ingredients I used

Peace and Love

Presentation is key

I always make her a special pancake

DIY Maiya Inspired Halloween decorations

The Ghostie's family, the only ghosts allowed in our house. Made with paper towels just wrap a rubberband around a cotton ball to form their head.

DIY Pumpin made with an orange plastic cup, turn it upside down and form the face.

Thank you for reading and please share your thoughts!

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    • Madonna Bugayong profile image
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      Madonna Bugayong 2 years ago from Gardena, CA

      Thanks Maiya!

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      maiya 2 years ago

      hi mommy thank you !I loved storyvery thoughtful!!p.s everything is really true !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Keep up all the good work and great stories so far!!!!I would rate this 100000 out of 100 that means that it is super duper great.I love you:)

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