The Mother-Daughter relationship
In the beginning
Due to the fact that mother carry their children in them for the pregnancy duration and then breastfeed them, the bond between a mother and her child is unique.
In most situations, sons are closer to their mothers when they are younger and daughters are closer to their fathers. It is not wrong because it changes over time. As they grow up, the sons become closer to their fathers as they imitate what they do and how they behave. Also, daughters become closer to their mothers as they learn gradually from her. We are focusing on the mother-daughter relationship, hence, we will get into it.
As daughters become closer to their mums, mothers should utilize every single opportunity to become their daughter's best friend. It is better when they are young because, that way, they will learn to tell you everything that happens when they are in school, or away from their mothers. Mothers should also give listening ears and make comments as their daughters talk to them. Correct them as well, immediately you notice that they say or do things wrongly. Learn to correct them in a friendly matter so that you do not scare them away from you.
Mother should also tell their daughters things about their own lives so that the relationship is not one-sided.
Also, make out time to know your child, take her out to visit her friends, go shopping with her, go to the saloon with her, do not hand her over to nannies and most importantly, pray for her.
Give your daughters the Bible. Show them God'd word. Tell them what God thinks, teach them to pray, teach them to believe in God and in his power. Tell them that there is nothing impossible with God. Let them learn to trust in God at all times. By taking your personal relationship with God serious, your daughter learns to create a personal relationship with God.
Also, train your daughter in a home where both her parents live together in peace and harmony. Let her know that it is ideal that a man and his wife stay together.
How do mothers lose these relationships?
Many mothers these days have lost the opportunity to have good relationships with their daughters. Their daughters may not disrespect them but, the idea of telling their mothers their personal secrets and pains will not be there. There are a couple of things that mothers do that hinder the growth of this relationship.
- Neglecting their young daughter's company: when children are very young, it is tempting to hand them over to nannies or aunties to take care of them. But, if a mother, makes the deliberate attempt to stay with their daughter through that stage of noise making and crying, the chances of her building a strong mother-daughter relationship foundation is very high. At that stage, girls learn to lean on their mothers for the slightest help they need. It is true that it is stressful at first, but in the end, it is really beneficial.
- Less time with their daughters: these days, many mothers are full time workers and even get to leave their children at the early stage of 3-4 months old. Handing over the care of the child to a relation or help. When daughters do not get to see their mothers, it is impossible to have a relationship with them. You can only talk to someone you see, not someone who you cannot see. This is where girls start getting wrong advices from their peers because, these other girls they talk to obviously have no experience. And by the time the mother wants to build that relationship, it is hard to make it work.
- Correcting their children in an unfriendly manner: when mothers tend to correct their daughters in harsh tones for every mistake they make, it is unlikely that that same girl will come to tell you her childish doings. This is not because she doesn't want to, but because she is scared about how her mother will react to the situation. Funny enough, the mothers may not really yell at them for their childish mistakes but, the picture of a harsh mother is already planted in the child's heart and that is hard to change.
- Having a one-sided relationship: when girls are younger, they tell their mothers everything that happens to them, including a tiny ant that bit their butt. When mothers don't reciprocate by telling their children how their own day went, some girls gradually stop telling their mothers about their lives. It is natural, we all like gisting and hearing from each other. It is only a matter of time before we break off from people that don't tell us about themselves.
- Not checking up on how their daughters feel: sometimes, some mothers don't care about how their daughters feel. Some are not even close enough to notice when their daughters are in a mood. This is very wrong as it makes the girl feel unimportant and neglected.
By noticing where you are wrong, it is easier to make amends before it is too late.
Is it ever too late?
Sadly, there comes a point in every girls life when she finally shuts away her mother. She won't be rude or disrespect her, but she just wouldn't be friends with her mother.
Her mother won't even know her at all.
To avoid all this, mothers should take out time from their busy schedules to take care of their daughters. Find out how they feel. Know what they like. That way, it will not be easy for the girl child to stray. And the Mother-Daughter bond will be strong.