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The Need for Godly Mothers
Christian Tracts on the Family
I have a number of tracts on the family that I have written, so please see coxtracts.com for a complete list of them (reading them online, and you can also download a PDF in format to print them yourself).
- fam01 Biblical Love: How Christians should love
- fam02 Seeking a Christian mate
- fam03 Biblical Principles for a Solid Marriage
- fam04 Resolving without Divorce
- fam05 Disciplining our Children
- fam06 Training our Kids
- fam07 Submission of the Woman
- fam26 Wise advice for Youth
- fam27 Dress of a Christian Woman
Godly Mothers, How precious are they!
Written by Pastor David Cox
Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates. Pro 31:29-31
With the forces of the women's liberation movement fully upon us for generations now, most people have lost sight of what is a mother. When they have made a mother equal to a father, then neither is distinguished. A mother is a close caretaker, but any more, the father has to do "his share" of taking care of the family, and the mother is now a wage earned, and is somehow freed from household responsibilities. The rub comes in where these responsibilities are no longer being done. If the mother has to use her salary to pay somebody to come in and do them (which has no love for the family nor children), then what her wages add to the family's income is minimal.
The mother is the spiritual and social nucleus of the family, and this is exactly where Satan attacks. Instead of building her family, the modern woman destroys her family and allows Satan to manage it for her, most notably via the television on the kids.
Remembering The True Value of Motherhood
What is a "good mother"?
It is sad to see that in our day, society has so degenerated as to completely lose the biblical concepts of the family. People simply don't know what a "good mother" is because they have never seen one. God established what the family relationship are or should be in Scripture. It all begins with a man and woman joining together in marriage until death separates them.
God made woman because of man's social being aspect. The purpose of God in making woman and in the purpose of marriage and family is to fulfill the social needs of all involved. A woman is more emotional that a man, and this difference in nature is directed at her childcare tasks.
According to 1John 4:16, “God is love.” This is a definition of God’s essence. In order to be saved, we have to receive the love of God, and make it part of us.
The woman is God's agent in the home to bring and foment this love in her husband and children. Men will do almost anything for love of a good woman. Children are greatly balanced and established by a loving home, or greatly affected if they didn't have one. This places the home under the direction of the mother as the spiritual workshop where God creates stability and maturity within the children, as well as giving these attributes to the man and woman.
Feet, hands, heart of a mother
Mother is a living example of submission
1Timothy 2:11-12Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. 12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence…
Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said…and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
Submission is a nasty word in so many circles that it is difficult to even speak of it as being in a marriage without evoking the women's lib group attacking you. But in truth, submission is necessary and commanded, and basically people learn submission through their mothers. Men are the "leaders" of the family, making the executive decisions for the family. The man is responsible before God for his family. If he must quit one job, relocate, and find another job, then he is taking the risk, because he is responsible for the financial wellfare of the family. Although he may share that decision with his wife, before God, he is responsible if his family isn't taken care of.
The woman should be subject to her husband. This is probably the single most important element in a young person responding to the authority of God, what he or she has seen and experienced in the home. The husband is set in authority in the home by God. This is not a choice, it is an obligation on every home. When the husband, or the wife, or both refuse to accept their places under God's direction, bad things happen. Perhaps most think of fighting between husband and wife, and that contention for decision-making. But that is not all the bad that happens, because the child learns rebellion.
We must understand that BOTH HUSBAND AND WIFE are under this obligation to submit to God. The husband's part is to lead, provide, and be a spiritual example for his family. This is seen most accutely in his love and sacrifice for his wife. Almost always, the wife's complaint about not wanting to submit to her husband is founded on his abuse, mistreatment, or ignoring her and her needs (as well as the family's needs). The submission of the man is very different than that of the woman. The man needs to submit to what tasks God has given him in the marriage and family. This means that he needs to stop being self-centered, and give his life and energy to his responsibilities at home. Work is for supporting himself and his family, not for other reasons, most of all not for being rich. This submission of the husband to God is what balances the wife's submission. It is truly difficult or impossible for a Christian woman to be fully submitted to an ungodly husband.
Within the Trinity we find this same kind of submission of God the Son and God the Spirit to God the Father. In no way is either inferior to the Father, but all three are equally God. But not all three appear to be "calling the shots". If a woman is a truly submitted Christian, she will imitate Christ and the Holy Spirit in finding purpose, meaning, and contentment in this submission. Her children will understand how they can exist and flourish even under the authority of another. This element is rarely understood by women, but it is what makes godly children become godly adults. Most miss that altogether.
Perhaps the greatest "submission" that a mother does is to give up her own life, and submit her own self to the needs and wishes of those she loves. In the end analysis, we submit to God because we love Him. Godly women submit to their husbands because they love God and love their husband. Godly women also submit to their family (taking care of them) because they love them. God and submission to her husband may be part of it, but her spiritual nobility comes from her love of God, and flows through her life into a love for her family that dominates her (causes submission).
Moms are tough but patient
Moms are quiet and calm
1Cor 14:34-45 says that the women should not speak in the congregation, but should be subject.
1Tim 2:11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. 12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
This is in the context of the local church and their meetings. Previously (1Tim 2:11-12) we saw that the woman should not dominate the man, but should be quiet and calm in her conduct, not speaking as the representative of the family, but leaving all this for her husband.
Prov 9:13 A foolish woman is clamorous (noisy): she is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs establishes that the bad woman is scandalous, or drawing attention to herself. A godly woman is content to be only noticed by her husband and family.
A godly mother is at the heart of the home
Moms are the living example of service
God makes a very big issue over the fact that all Christians are supposed to be servants. We serve God by serving others, most clearly serving our families and our brethren in church. This comes across through Scripture, but it focuses on the humility and self-denial of a person when they humbly and contentedly serve others when they really don't have to do so.
Reading Proverbs 31, we see that the godly woman is marked by her service to others, but mostly her service to her husband and children. The only way she can identify with godliness is through this selfless, self-denying, service. She pays for the happiness of others with her own life. She does this because she loves her husband and children. She loves her husband and children because God loves her, and she understands that God has saved her soul from hell, therefore she is appreciative to God, and she imitates God's moral character (in loving among many other things).
A godly mother is a person who surrenders her own aspirations and hopes in order to build her home (Pro. 14:1) making that a safe, joyful place for her husband and herself to live in, and for her children to grow up in. She attends matters of family and housework rather than business or employment. While the majority of mothers disdain and despise these ideals, thinking that they are going for the better lifestyle, they usually regret this when they see their kids turn out poorly. We contrast this with the prostitute that "is always in the street" (Pro 7:11).
In 1Timothy 5:13, God condemns the young widows that are tempted to be lazy, going around gossiping and mettling in other people's business. A godly mother is somebody who tends to things at home as her principle life task.
She is the family comforter
Isaías 66:13 As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you; and ye shall be comforted in Jerusalem.
It is interesting that God in His role of consoling us in our troubles and tribulations gives us the comparison of his work as a "comforting mother" (Isa 66:13). For most of humanity, the comfort of a mother is the most consoling thought there is. A child finds protection, "safeness", nourishment and warmeth at his mother's breast. The tenderness, the love, the care, are all things that most people remember of their mothers.
This is linked to the mother's care and "being there" when they are small, defenseless, helpless, and without orientation in the world. The horribleness of our society is that nowadays that has been replaced with the television, videos, songs, and electronic gear in the most recent mother-replacement waves. Instead of a caring and loving mother watching over us, now there are day cares with people who don't care about us, and other kids that adversely impact us as children!
The Moral Character of "Mother"
Proverbs 31 paints us a wonderful picture of a truly godly (virtuous) woman. We can sum up all that she is in a single thought, she has determined to be a blessing to those other people around her in life. Truly this is the same as living with the fruits of the Spirit (Gal 5:22-23).
The work day of a modern employed woman pails in comparison to this woman, because most working women will work a 9-5 job, and then have the rest of the day free "to rest". But the noble, virtuous woman begins way before dawn, and ends her work way after midnight. She sacrifices her day "burning the candle at both ends" because of her profound love for those around her. God is love, and God lives in her, because clearly her life is devoted to showing that love God gave her to others.
1Tim 2:9-10 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
Modesty and Reserve
While Proverbs 31 paints a wonderful picture of the laboring of a godly woman, there are yet more to her than that! A godly woman is a person who has truly come under the power of God, and she seeks to make her life something for her Lord. As a Pastor who counsels, I have come to the conclusion that truly great people in God's sight have engaged God such that they don't really care about how others respond to their service, nor if they show appreciation to her. What makes a person great in God's sight is that they have engaged God and taken upon themselves the burden of pleasing God with all their heart and life. Practically this means that people do not "respond" to love, but they are a great big engine, generating love whether it is returned or not. Great people don't wait for others to love them first, and then they respond love for love. The gentile and heathen people live that way. A godly woman just loves more and more whether those she loves started the loving first or responds to her loving or not. That is a great and noble woman in God's eyes.
She also "adorns herself" spiritually. She is fully engaged with God. She focuses her beauty not on the outward passing beauty of her body, but on the inward spiritual beauty of a great, loving, noble person that nobody under her influence can ignore or not have gratitude for her.
1 Peter 3:2-5 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
She is shamefaced, or reserved. I think prudence is also the idea. She has modesty and honor, and this is seen in respect for others, reverence for all, and reserve in how she handles her life and the crises in it. She always has courteousy and honor for others, whether they really desire it or not. She is very "reserved" in how she spends herself and her resources, because she thinks first about her husband, and then about her family. Her personal hobbies, interests, pleasures, etc. are all cancelled and thrown out of the window. Her pleasure is in serving her loved ones.
She has great control and disciple over her own life, and she is "sober". She doesn't let the sensual desires and pleasures of her heart dominate, but she places God's will as the center of her life, and what is directing all. You will not see her indulge very much in entertainment, recreation, pleasures, alcohol (addictive things), but she is a servant in which those she serves comes first.
She is focused on being meek and gentle with others. She is never implacable or demanding.
She is constantly fighting against and winning over her own evil nature, and sensual carnality. She is free the sinful spots of worldliness. She understands her God imposed authorities and greatly respects and obeys them. She adorns herself with good works and service.
The mother and moral education
In Proverbs, God speaks of the mother's educating children and spiritual care. This comes from both parents (Prov 1:8), but in the view of Scripture, the father is "out" of the home daily working to support it, and the actual daily task of moral training falls to the mother. The godly mother will teach her children (“forsake not the law of thy mother” or “teaching” 6:20).
The mother as the primary caretaker earns the child's respect and obedience. Children follow the moral example of their parents, and this fact of life is often overlooked. When there is no mother nor father in the home, they seek for anybody else that is daily close to them, and this falls usually to unsaved daycare workers and teachers. The child will follow their examples.
God referred to this in the chain of Lois and Eunice, and then Eunice to Timothy (2Tim 1:5). The morality of each woman was passed down to their children Lois to Eunice, and Eunice to Timothy. From 1Tim 2:9-10; 1Pet 3:2-5; and Proverbs 31 we see that the Christian woman adorns herself with good works, and she is an incessant and energetic worker.
Pro 23:22 Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old. God speaks to this evil generation, who will not bless their mother (Pro 30:11). We should appreciate and highly esteem our mothers.
Verses to Remember
How it impacts us
God is love
We should love
Woman is to submit
1Timothy 2:11-12; Gen 3:16
Submission because of obedience
Women are not to lead
Submission because of obedience
Women are to build their homes
A priority for all women
Should be your strength
Godly women adorn themselves
Esteem this highly
© 2014 David Cox