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Surviving The Warning
As if pregnancy wasn't hard enough (or maybe it was wonderful) you finally get through those 23+ hard and horrid hours of labor. You made it past the finish line and you have your gold in your arms, you baby. You have awaited 10 long endearing months to finally hold your baby and kiss all of his or her little fingers and toes. You're so over whelmed at everything you don't even realize that soon, that baby, that tiny little bitty human will be coming home with you. Thats where it begins.. It starts with the car ride home, you start worrying.. "Is the carseat clicked in", " These people need to slow down I have a baby in the car!", "Has it aways been this dark on this Highway?", "Watch that bump, I don't want it to shake him." That night and the first two or three go by great, your baby is sleeping soundly, eating and burping when he is suppose to (usually every 2 hours). Then you slowly start to subconsciously get more and more tired.. your husband find you snapping at him over the small things, like water being on the counter because it could be nasty water that isn't sterile and could get on your babies brand new Dr Brown Bottle and make him sick, but he doesn't say anything because this is all so new to you both.
A few more days go buy and you start to cry at everything, your so exhausted and don't even realize it because you're so consumed with the new baby and this new life you have. You feel like you've tried every formula possible to get your little guy comfortable and best compared to breast milk. Finally you find one, Similac Sensitive because you're baby's belly isn't the same as others. Then its like you feed the baby and get him to sleep, you jump on Facebook for a few short minutes or research things about your newborn (30 minutes online never seemed like such a big deal before). Next thing you know you have fallen asleep, only to be awaken what seems to be just minutes after you've fallen asleep by your new baby making noises (or screaming) about to wake up for his next feeding, but you just fell asleep didn't you? You're starting to lose track of time, your baby seems to be eating a lot more often or so it seems. Actually he is eating on time but when you wake up to feed him, then change him, then get him back to sleep its already been a hour and when he eats every two hours you only have a hour before he wakes up again to eat. NO WONDER you're exhausted, not just tired, pure.. full out.. over whelming.. can't explain to anyone how it feels.. EXHAUSTED. You begin to wonder how all these moms work, live happy, still have a husband for goodnesses sake because you well know you've sworn off at your husband more than you should've for the most ridiculous things. You find yourself sitting in a bath crying and worrying. Crying because you just feel like you can't do it, you've reached your point, you're not strong enough to be a mother. You start worrying if your baby is ok with your husband because we all know at first we don't trust even ourselves so how on earth could we even begin to trust our husbands or anyone else with your baby. It keeps flashing in your mind that you wish your baby was back in your belly on that last week of pregnancy where you just were ready to go into labor no mater where you gave birth you just wanted your baby, yeah that time didn't seem as bad as you thought now. More questions flash though your head, "Am I a bad mother because I want to run away, because I get frustrated at this tiny human that can't help he is crying and just wants love or to be fed?."
Then, VERY slowly... the days start to go by.. yes, you've lost what day of the week is it and what time it is until your husband walks through the door from work. You've found way to make things.. a little easier. You got this really cool App on your phone that keeps up with when your baby last ate, had his diaper changed, and how long he slept. You find he's sleeping 3 hours at a time now and you've learned to get off Facebook at night and to be prepared for bed when he eats at 7PM or 8PM and you curl up next to him because still, 3 hours comes quick. You are starting to get a since of life back to you, you finally find the time to text that friend who's been waiting to see your baby. You start trusting your husband and mostly relying on him to be with your baby while you take a very long and hot bubble bath for some mommy time. You even got a surprise of your baby sleeping 5 straight hours one night! You start to reconnect with your husband in a way you almost forgot about because of all the chaos you've been trying to get used to. You're now thinking, "I've got this, I have a system." It all keeps coming together, you're getting used to this little tiny thing being around and your world getting shaken up doesn't seem so bad now.
He's growing, He's growing quick! New sounds, first smile, he now looks around the room for you. You're heart is so full. Yes, pregnancy was rough but the first month was by far.. the most challenging event you've ever been through. You love your baby everyone says sleep while you can well, the truth is.. you can only sleep SO much before baby come because you're still going to lose all of that sleep once your baby comes. Basically its a game, you have to concur the first few weeks with everything crazy going through your mind and your body changed oh the body changes, but once you're sweet bundle of love is about 6-7 weeks old you've well got the hang of it and it was ALL worth it. Thank your friends for being supportive and giving you time to adjust, Thank your Husband for not strangling you in the process, for loving y'all through the rough and for being supportive even when you yelled at him for the 100th time that you don't trust him to even look at the baby because "accidents happen everyday." Mainly, thank yourself. You're a MOTHER. You did it. You completed the hardest most difficult life altering time in your entire life. The first baby will ALWAYS be the hardest I mean come on, we weren't experts until we went through it. Congradulations Mommy, YOU have mastered, "The Warning."
Now go cuddle with your Hubby and Baby.