Truly awful baby names. When Choosing a name for your baby steer clear of these stinkers
This is an opinion hub. It wasn't researched or written to be factual. If you don't have a sense of humor STOP READING NOW!
Bad Baby Names
If ever a hub needed to be written it is this one. An unspeakable crime is being committed against innocent children all over the nation each and every day and it's time someone expose this shameful parental practice. I'm talking about a crime so heinous it has long lasting, negative effects on the children who are forced to participate in this miscarriage of justice.
The crime is: BAD BABY NAMES
After surveying hundreds of individuals on Hubpages, Facebook, Twitter and through my personal blog www.mikicagle.blogspot.com (how's that for shameful promotion?) I have compiled a list of the worst children's names of all time.
Worst Girls Names
- Electra: There is a preschool student at my elementary school who's parents actually named her Electra. Yes, that's right, I said ELECTRA. Unfortunately for her with a name like Electra she will only have two career choices when she grows up: stripper or superhero and quite honestly she can't fly and I don't think that she's able to shoot laser beams from her fingers or stop a speeding bullet.
- Germajesty: Once again a little girl in one of the schools I worked at was gifted with this name. I think that its' meaning is "Queen of Bacteria".
- Tergent: Tergent was born unexpectedly 2 weeks ahead of schedule. I believe that after her daughter was born this mother was already thinking about the laundry that needed to be done and the fact that she needed to pick up laundry products on her way home from the hospital.
- Chlamydia-Now I really want to believe that no parent would ever give their child this name but I had two people swear they knew someone who did.
- Farten-Jeannieinabottle supplied this name and emphasised that it is pronounced phonetically. She feels that while it may be a beautiful name in another language it definitely isn't in English. I have to agree.
- Lady MJ was kind enough to supply a long list of names including: Moxie Crimefighter, Facebook, Ever Gabo, To Morrow, Poppy Honey, Audio Science, Diva Muffin and my favorite Sylvester Stallone's offspring Sage Moonblood.
Do you want to write for hubpages? Click here to sign up.
Worst Boy Names
- Dick Trickle: Sorry-I think that this former NASCAR driver's name is one of the worst names that I have ever heard. Why in the world didn't he call himself Richard, Rich, or Rick-anything but Dick.
- Young Boozer: Mr. Boozer is a native of the great state of Alabama. He grew up in Tuscaloosa and is currently running for State Treasurer. Young named his son Young Boozer too (get it Young Boozer 2?).
- Damien: This is such an obviously bad choice I can't believe that parents still even consider this name for their child. Remember the movie the Omen and the dastardly little devil named Damien who was THE SON OF SATAN? As a teacher I have seen several children who have been cursed with this name and ALL of them have had behavior issues, it's a self fulfilling prophecy.
- Blanket: Thank you Daffy Duck for reminding me of the absolutely stupid name Michael Jackson gave his youngest son. I can just imagine what other creative names he may have gifted future children with if he had lived: Pillow, Sheets, Throw Rug, Dust Ruffle, Curtain, Vacuum Cleaner, Socks, Soap, Shoe Box, Sofa, Bucket-the list is endless.
- Simon- I am really, really sorry for saying this but I am not very fond of a relative's choice when naming his new son. The name Simon conjers up visions of a squeaky, singing, mouse in my head. I hope little Simon doesn't have any siblings with the names Theodore or Alvin in the future. My husband is betting he will have a little brother named Garfunkel-we'll just have to wait and see.
Well that's my short list of truly awful baby names. I am sure that you have a list of your own stinker names so please feel free to share, I'd love to hear them.