- Family and Parenting»
- Parenting Skills, Styles & Advice
Your Parenting Style Affect Your Children
Different Kinds of Parenting Styles
Generally, there are three dominant categories of parenting styles: Authoritative parent, Authoritarian Parent, and permissive parent. In reality parents employ a combination of parenting styles depending on the day-to-day parenting circumstance like working parent, single parent, possessive parent, special need parent, stay-at-home parent, uninvolved parent and guilty parent. Parenting style will determine both the risk factors and protective factors in a child’s life.
Parenting is not easy. Parenting is a long and tedious process. Yet it is possible to carry them out joyfully and successfully, given the right attitude and diligence. Many have done it with good success and enduring legacies, but many too have failed abysmally that the pains remain in society to date. Terrorists that destroy lives and properties all over the world are people’s children. And with different ways of child rearing, it can be hard to decide which style would work best for you and your family.
You must understand that no book will summarize your child. Books can give you generalizations, but you will become the master at recognizing what is normal and abnormal for your child.
The Authoritative Parenting Style
The authoritative parent administers firm but fair discipline, often times allowing two-way communication between the parent and the child regarding discipline. The authoritative parent displays equal love, nurturing, and caring despite having to enforce disciplinary action. Children from homes with the authoritative parenting style demonstrate higher academic achievement and usually describe their parents as understanding, approving, trusting, affectionate, encouraging achievement, and not overly strict. Young parents try to follow this style but sometimes slipped into permissive style unintentionally.
The Authoritarian Parenting style
The authoritarian parent often discourages and disallows two-way discussion between parent and children regarding discipline. The authoritarian parenting style is harsh, demanding, and strict, with rules of obedience and a firm belief in the fundamental parenting principle that a child’s will to do wrong must be broken. Children of authoritarian parents tend to have low self-esteem as adolescents and often perform poorly academically. Children of authoritarian parent describe their parents as punitive in their disciplinary techniques. The authoritarian parents will often say, “because I said so” or because you live in my home” as he/she enforces discipline without explaining why the child is receiving discipline. Children from homes with the authoritarian parenting style are obedient and usually display manners, but are most times unhappy and not social. Authoritarian parenting takes away independence, destroys self-esteem, and causes the children to make bad choice in life because they are not free enough with their parents to seek advice.
The Permissive Parenting Style
The permissive parent has few rules and will allow children to get away with anything. Often times, the permissive parenting style is related to some guilt the parent has , such as being a single parent, a working parent, or simply because the parent has no parenting skills training. The permissive parenting style takes a hand-off approach to communication between the parent the child. The single parent may lack enough resources to take good care of the child and compensates by being permissive. The working parent might be so busy he or she has no time to spare to take good care. Children of permissive parents make decisions about life without seeking advice from their parents. They are often immature and underachievers. They have higher incidents of conflict during high school because the permissive parenting style does not include communicating high expectations for children. Permissive parents and uninvolved parents rarely attend their child’s school functions, rarely influence their child’s religious beliefs, and rarely know who their child’s friends are. Permissive generally take on the role of friends with their children rather than parents. They over-pamper their children and end up ruining them.
Parenting Styles: Some Things to Think About
Your responsibility is to teach and nurture your children. The idea of giving them proper training is so that it may go with them till they are old. It may seem as if they are not accepting it at the time you are doing it but the truth remains that what truth they grow up hearing and seeing through the examples you show, will remain with them even till much later in their lives. Some people believe that what you teach your children are same things that they will pass on to their own children. “Tell your children of it, and let your children tell their children, and their children another generation (Joel 1:3).
Love is also essential in the parenting process. And this implies that none of your children should be seen as some kind of liability or burden, rather as a blessing. And you do not need to be told how to handle a gift. So you must love every one of your children unconditionally. Your love should not be based on whether or not they have done anything deserving of that love. In fact, this singular attribute can help to curb wayward tendencies in your children.
The place of discipline cannot be overlooked in child training either. Yet, it is perhaps the most difficult thing for most parents to do because while some overdo it, others shy away from it. You cannot but discipline your child if the need arises. “The rod and rebuke give wisdom: but a child left to himself brings his mother to shame. Correct your son, and he will give you rest, yes, he will give delight to your soul (Proverbs 29: 15, 17).
Note, however, that discipline of the child is a joint effort and responsibility which there should always be agreement between parents. Children’s intelligence should not be underestimated. They know when parents are in the conflict and can easily take advantage of loopholes created by such situations to further widen the gaps in communication and cause havoc. If parents are not careful enough the home may eventually break up. It is instructive for both parents to be fully involved in all aspects of their children’s training including spiritual, academic, physical, social and economic aspects of life. The neglect of discipline in the home can cause more problems than can be imagined.
Profits of Good Parenting
Undoubtedly, there are great rewards for good parenting. For those parents, who will diligently fulfill the responsibilities that come with this rare privilege, they stand to gain a lot. First is that you will be highly respected in your neighborhood for having raised responsible children. Your children will wax strong in the spirit and they will be wise.
Second is that they will be sources of joy and channels of blessing to you. Proverbs 23:24 says, “The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise child will delight in him.”
Third is that they will find favor with God and man (1 Samuel 2:26). If your children are well behaved they will receive favor anywhere they find themselves.
In addition, they will be light in their generation, and they will stand out among their peers. Enjoy being a good parent. It pays to be one.