Things You Can Do to Embarrass Your Kids
Kids are expensive, messy, and time consuming. Why not enjoy them? Try some of these for your own entertainment.
- Whenever you see your child with their friends, yell really loud, "Hi! Hi! I'm his dad I'm his dad!
- Tell your child's friends a joke - the stupider, the better
- Use ghetto slang incorrectly in public
- Dance badly in public where your children can see you
- Whenever you run into your child at the mall or or the street, point at them and say, "That's my kid!"
- When eating in a public place with your teenager, exhibit terrible table manners. Ideally, try to make as much food fall on the floor as goes in your mouth.
- When you give your child and their friend a ride, put on your favorite radio station and sing along with gusto
- Compare your child's toilet training with your own when speaking with their grandmother in the child's presence
- At a family event, discuss the most stupid things your child has ever done with the child's relatvies. Use a lot of gestures and laugh a lot.
- Make hand motions as if you are doing a rap in public where your child can see you. Extra credit if you wear your baseball cap backwards.
- Wear colorful boxer underwear with your pants down around the tops of your thighs
- Wear a bandana on your head like a pirate
- Speak like a pirate in front of your child's friends: "Arrrh, matey. Avast! Belay that landlubber talk. We've got to follow the pirates' code. There be buried treasure.." etc.
- Wear spandex
- Where your child can hear you, tell their teacher that your child is shy and needs to be encouraged to come out of their shell
- Sit in on the high school band in which your child is a player and try to play an instrument you don't know how to play
- Try to join your son's pick up basketball game
- If age appropriate, mention that their existence is proof that you and their other parent had sex at least once