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Not all parents like my son

Updated on July 24, 2013

My son is not liked by his bestfriend's parents

It is true that these parents do not like my son because they saw him as the source of all the bad decisions made between our two boys. They assumed he was the instigator and that their perfect child was being negatively influenced by my less than perfect child. As you will see later in this article, my son's behavior took a turn for the better spending less time with this friend.

My son recently started first grade at a different school from where he attended kindergarten. His best buddy for the last few years at his former school goes to a different elementary school.

The two boys were ok together for long stretches, but as they got older, they started getting in more trouble together. My experience with them was that they would come together and become a force greater than either of them individually. It was sort of like an out of control hurricane oblivious to everyone and everything because they were sucked into a crazy vortex, that was not helpful for either of them, especially when teachers needed their attention. As a result, both of them were given appropriate disciplinary action when they did not pay attention. Eventually, the teachers wanted them to spend less time together, starting with one day apart here and there, extending up to whole weeks apart.

When it was decided that the two boys would spend less time together, sometimes I would see the other boy's Mom and she would raise her eyebrows and make sure we all knew how important it was to keep these boys apart because she was too polite to say she doesn't like my child. Of course I wanted to point out that her son was continuing to get into trouble and that they are just going through a phase. I never did because it was pretty clear that if her son had never met my child, he wouldn't be misbehaving.

Those parents that don't like my child can have that program

Recently, there was an after school program that had an open house to introduce parents to their program and we all attended not knowing the other family would be there, but our family was not that interested in the offerings as we learned more about the program. This little boy's parents, who do not like my son, were on the fence and it may have been partially because of the possibility that my little hellion would be there, but I wanted to let them know that they were safe to join, because we would not be signing up. A few days later I saw this little boy's father and let him know that the coast was clear and that we would not be participating (they probably had a bottle of wine to celebrate).

If neither boy is being physically or emotionally harmed, then this is a great opportunity for them to learn how to control their enthusiasm when together. There will always be people in the world that for whatever reason, make us want to be a bit wilder, and therefore kids need to learn how to use that energy productively and safely. Neither child is right or wrong, they are just reacting naturally and need guidance. They are lucky to feel that enthusiasm and now need to find ways to focus that chaotic energy. It is too bad that it has gone so far as to create negative feelings towards my son.

Those parents that don't like my child might not know that parenting is difficult

Parenting is much more difficult than meets the eye of those who are either not parenting or who are not trying to parent. To actually guide another human to behave in an acceptable manner, behave in a way that is opposite to their inclination, become a contributing member of society and not crush their spirit requires a concerted effort by all parents. To be able to perform this role well, means finding whatever tools are available and not necessarily blurting out defensive remarks that will not prove beneficial to anyone. In other words, it is ok if not every parent loves my child.

Fortunately, there are lots of great parenting classes, books, and magazines to give us good advice on how to succeed at this daunting task. My son's school actually sent out a brochure the first week of school describing some of the classes available in our area. One place to start an online search would be at your local school district's website.

Parents might not like one of these kids

So You Wanna Wrestle? by ikan1711, on Flickr
So You Wanna Wrestle? by ikan1711, on Flickr

Advice for parents if someone doesn't like their child

There is no one way way to parent, but plenty of mistakes to be had. Wish there was one tried and true way, but every child requires different suggestions at different ages, keeping us on our toes. Even putting forth our best efforts daily does not ensure success. However, not putting forth that effort does guarantee failure, which leaves us with no decision.

My son seems to be a good boy for the most part, but like any child he gets to a point where he needs to test his limits and exert some of his own influence. As his parent, his deviant behavior which is very normal, tends to scare me because I wonder if it is a window into the future or a flash of potential mental illness. Then, my more practical side reassures me that my son is just a boy acting like a child.

If parents do not like your child, you have a few choices. You can defend your wild child and they will think you are in denial or oblivious to your child's true nature. If you accept their accusations, you do not know if it is a permanent condition or a passing phase, while we all hope it is the later and statistically this is very probable, only time will tell. In my case, I did a hybrid thing where I accepted the possibility that my son has some wildness but that these other parents were wrongly blaming him for all their son's bad decisions. In my case, I decided to bite my tongue with them and express myself to the world online.

Parents might not like one of these kids

Two boys by hyperscholar on Flickr
Two boys by hyperscholar on Flickr

Thoughts? Shared Experience?

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    • creativeone59 profile image

      benny Faye Douglass 

      9 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      A great hub, and know the old saying boys will be boys, you just have to keep disciplining him and he'll be fine. Thanks for sharing and thanks for being my fan. Godspeed. creativeone59

    • creativeone59 profile image

      benny Faye Douglass 

      9 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      A great hub, and know the old saying boys will be boys, you just have to keep disciplining him and he'll be fine. Thanks for sharing and thanks for being my fan. Godspeed. creativeone59

    • Moon Daisy profile image

      Moon Daisy 

      9 years ago from London

      Nice hub, and I agree, parenting is difficult!


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