Through the Eyes of a Child
I never had the chance to be,
The way a child should be,
Running through the school yard,
With a heart so young and free.
Instead I sat so quietly,
No-one could understand,
Why I held my head so sadly,
While they danced round hand in hand.
I never wore the frilly frocks,
The other girls did wear,
But I loved the satin ribbon,
Momma tied up in my hair.
They begged for me to join their games,
As they looked at me confused,
They walked away so sadly,
When I repeatedly refused.
One day the wind did change its path,
Through the tall gum trees green and vast,
The girls that once did love me,
Silently went past.
And even when the wind was gone,
As Winter passed away,
I sat there in seclusion,
As not one eye did look my way.
I tried to hide the tears,
That splashed upon my cheeks,
I could not let them see the truth,
That I was painfully weak.
As cruel words stung my spirit,
Even then I could not speak,
Instead I turned and walked away,
"The Grade Two Blue-eyed Freak ".
And when the school bell broke at three,
Elation filled the air,
I would look unto the wired fence,
And hope that Dad weren't there.
For when I saw my Mommas face,
My little legs did race,
While my Momma stood there rigidly,
With a deep frown upon her face.
I made my Momma angry,
For most everything I did,
It seemed she failed to realize,
I was just a little kid.
So I kept my secrets deep inside,
For I did not want her mad,
To tell her "Daddy hurts me",
How could I say that bout my Dad?.
At night while holding Teddy,
I would kneel beside me bed,
"God what I really want for Xmas,
Is for you to send me a best friend".
Then Spring turned into Summer,
As all inside did break,
I punched a boy with all my might,
And smacked him in the face.
The boy had killed my Teddy,
He ripped him right in two,
The only friend I ever had,
It ripped my heart right through.
Something changed inside me,
From that very day,
With a resentment for my parents,
And an inability to pray.
A woman now I have become,
Who now has found her voice ,
To speak of the horrendous crimes,
Where children have no choice.
I whisper to my God,
With tears down my face,
"Have mercy on our children,
For our future human race".
Please understand this is a horrendous crime, child abuse is not acceptable, not human, not your fault in anyway or form. Do not be afraid to speak out. Dedicated to all the dear victims who have been affected by this kind of abuse. Remember there is hope, there is love, there is healing, always.!! May the sunlight once again begin to shine in your life. You are beautiful.
© Debbie Murray 2009.
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