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Tips on Helping Your Adult Child to Move out of Your Home

Updated on March 20, 2013
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What To Do When Kids Come Back Home

Let's face it, you've spent a great deal of your life tending to their needs and sometimes neglecting your own. When they finally leave the nest you're both happy and sad. That's understandable.

But what do you feel when they come back?

If you're like a lot of adult parents with adults kids back home you feel a lot of things. Feelings sometimes are the problem. The best way to get your adult children out of your home is to first address and then let go of feelings unless you want them to stay forever.

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The High Cost of Adult Children Living At Home

If your adult child comes back home to live with you it just won't cost you a pretty penny, it'll cost you big bucks. If you are one of those parents that think having them live back home with you might not be so bad then read on. Here are just a few of the extras you'll have to pay if they don't contribute financially to the household;

  • Food
  • Electricity
  • Gas
  • Water (car washes, showers, etc)
  • Medical Insurance up to age 26
  • Automobile Insurance up to age 25
  • Personal liability insurance in case of accidents
  • Spending cash
  • Cash for gas or transportation
  • Help paying bills they may not be able to pay

The above is just a short list. As a mom of adult kids in college that come home for the summer and holidays, I can attest that my cost skyrocket when they are back.

Don't Be Hard On Yourself or Them Use The Easy Way

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The Easy Way To Get Them Out

If you are like most parents of a certain age, you want them out. You don't want them out because you don't love them, you want them out because you love you and them. You need a life and they need their own life outside of the abode you created for yourself. You've paid your dues. You've earned your freedom. It's about time you enjoy it. Here's how;

  1. Draw up a contract -an official one
  2. Charge room and board
  3. Give them chores (real ones) - not just clean their room, but maintain something or make a meal on a regular basis
  4. Limit their freedom - they'll hate that and will try to find a way to leave
  5. Give them cash or loan for a down payment on a place of their own if they don't have it and have a job to pay the month rent or mortgage

Your Adult Child is Broke Now What?

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What To Do If They Have No Job or Income

If your adult child is like a lot of adult children living home without an income due to the economic downturn. Although it's understandable why they are back at home don't let that stop you or them from moving forward. Get answers to the following questions before you offer your peaceful abode to your offspring.

  • What plans in place do you have to find work?
  • How long will you need to live here?
  • Have you exhausted all other options?
  • Are you registered with the unemployment office or any other job service for help?
  • What will you do during the day while I'm at work?
  • Although you have no income how can you help at home?

They'll Love You For Your Courage and Commitment

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Encourage Self Reliance and Succeed

Don't let your boomerang kid put your life into spin cycle, set things straight and encourage self reliant behaviors. The goal of adulthood is to be an adult. Most adults don't have the convenience of their parent's homes to go back to when the unexpected happens financially. Let's face it, at some point although its hard to admit yours won't be available to your adult child either. Everyone has to grow up.

You'll feel so much better when you know that whatever happens in your child's life he or she will be alright whether you are there to help out or not. I know this may be tough medicine to swallow so try to take in slowly or in small spoonfuls but you must take it. Remember you also have your own financial needs and goals to think about. One day you'll want to retire, maybe travel take a few vacations or maybe just sit at home "stark naked" as my mom used to tell me. Whatever the case you'll need a home of your own so encourage your child to be self reliant so you can enjoy yourself.

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    • btrbell profile image

      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      As a parent in that situation now, I can relate to what you are writing! I have been blessed. My son has been a big help around the house and fun to be with! That's not to say he doesn't need to move on but, at least until he finds a full time job that will support him, we get along!

    • livelifeworryfree profile image
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      Princess Clark 4 years ago from The DMV

      @btrbell I'm glad you are getting along well. His helping out really goes a long way doesn't it? Hopefully most boomerang kids are helping out in the best way they can. Thanks for the great comment!

    • Abby Campbell profile image

      Abby Campbell 4 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

      I should send this hub to my mother-in-law! LOL! My kids, husband, and I have a plan for them. Just hopefully everything works accordingly. They will be in college for the next 4-7 years. With the high cost of tuition, my husband and I have told them that they can come back home to live for 1-2 years rent-free, but they have to put a big portion of their income towards their student loans and pay them off in that 1-2 years. This way, they won't have that debt hanging over their head when they go out on their own... and hopefully won't have to move back in with us. LOL.

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      Nucole 2 years ago

      My daughter is 18 has a 1 year old daughter doesn't have a job and she don't pay rent.All she wants to do is party everyday of the week.She brings my granddaughter from house to house for days at a time!! I lovey daughter and I just want her to get her life together. What should I do?

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      Duane 2 years ago

      My daughter won't abide by the cleaning rules, doesn't have a job and I pay for her expenses including gas and methadone treatment. Unfortunately I am hiring an attorney to legally evict her. She has been stealing money from my purse (when it was hidden)

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