- Family and Parenting»
- Genealogy, Family History & Family Trees
DAD: The Greatest Man In My Life, Part I
I have what others may not have.
As a young girl growing up, I had always thought that everyone had a wonderful father like mine. In my worldview, everybody had this kind of a perfect father that any child could have asked for. A father who would come home in the evening bringing some goodies for the children. In my family, we could make any request and in most cases, we would get it by dawn. The scene was different at my neighbor’s house. I could hear the screams full of excruciating pain and distress. Whenever that happens, my entire household would rush there and try to assist in resolving the situation. We could find the mother of the homestead lying on the floor, writhing in pain with a swollen face full of mixture of blood and tears. The drunkard husband had once again, descended on the poor woman with fist blows for no apparent reason. The children, whose ages ranged from 2 to about 12 years old, would always try to create a protective fence around their mother to prevent her from their father’s rage. The husband having been an ex-military seemed to have had his human feelings eliminated in the war zone. If this woman did not have any children, she would have been killed in the first round. I always wondered how she would go on in life with this monster in her house. Poor little children, they wished they had what other kids had; a normal father, a loving and caring father not only to them, but also to their mother.
When I got the opportunity to transition to United States, and got involved in various children ministries, and also became a special education teacher, I often came across children who did not even know who their fathers were. Some had an idea, but their fathers did not want anything to do with them. The Maury show on his weekly TV series, tries to highlight the plight of fathers who have refused to take responsibility as fathers by giving them a DNA test. Some cases are genuine while others have indeed fathered children out of wedlock and yet they still deny their children arguing that the child ‘does not look anything like them’. My question is, have they ever done a comprehensive assessment of their family 20 generations back as well as the child’s mother 20 generations back, before they could courageously argue that this kid does not look like the rest of the family? But DNA does not lie. This is just but few cases of children out there who have been despised by their fathers. All these stories made me realize how fortunate I am, to be among the few children whom their fathers are present in their lives, from the time they were conceived until the present day. I realized how much I am blessed to have wonderful my father. I have so much that others do not have.
Dad did not just participate in creating me, but also in raising me.
I was listening to a Christian Radio Broadcast one time, and the preacher said something that I had never thought about in my life. He said that when the child is being created, it takes two parties to do so; a man and a woman. But after conception, the man’s work is done, but it is just the beginning for the woman. The man can decide to disappear and refuse to take responsibility or provide the much needed support to the mother of his child. If not, the woman alone has to undergo that journey of nine months of pregnancy, lots of changes, lots of challenges etc. She will then have to raise that child alone or she if she is lucky can get some or full support from a responsible child’s father. I thank my father because he was there for my mother, and has been there for me. Though we are currently over 16, 000 miles apart, he still inquires whether I am getting enough rest, whether I am eating right, if I have enough money and how my job is treating me and many other personal things. Sometimes I want to tell him that ‘dad, you know I can take care of my self now” but whether I said it or not, he still wants to know if I am comfortable. So knowing how caring he is, I just try to explain specifically and in detail how things are and how comfortable I am. He will never forget to assure me that he loves me, that if everybody in this world fails to love me, I should be assured that he will always be there for me. As I celebrate this day, I want to thank God for such a wonderful father that I have and I pray that God may continue to keep him strong and healthy every day for he is such a great father, not only to us the six children, but also as a great husband to my mother.