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To New Fathers - Don't Diss Daughters

Updated on July 5, 2011

Daughter, Son, It Doesn't Matter

As a new father, I can say that having a daughter has thus far been the best experience of my life. No doubt about it.

Every new moment I spend with her is better than the last. Ever new day brings something completely new. It is very cool and I can't wait to see what kind of person she grows into.

I imagine that having a son would be equally exhilarating, and I would like to experience it someday.

But, with that being said, I never did, nor will I ever, come out and say that I have to have a son because in doing so it implies that I didn't want a daughter or wouldn't want another one.

Really, I was just excited to become a father.

New Fathers & Their Daughters
New Fathers & Their Daughters | Source

If You're a New Dad, Don't Diss Daughters

For whatever reason, a lot of new fathers are terrified of having a daughter, or just plain donít want one. Often times they say things like, "I hope it's a boy (ie: not a girl), and "I don't know what I would do if it's a girl!

That drives me nuts!

I would like to know how that makes their wives or girlfriends feel?

I'm curious if those dads later on in their daughter's lives tell them that they wished they had been a boy. I mean, they were so willing to let everyone else know.

It's likely they don't. Why? Because it was a jerk thing to say to begin with.

What's funny is that whether the baby is a boy or girl is completely determined by the father's "contributions", so if it doesn't go as they hope they have no one to blame but themselves ... or their "contributions."

Books For New Fathers

Daughters are No Different

From what I can tell as a dad at this point, having a daughter is in no way different than having a son, or at least not until they reach maybe 13 or 14 years old at which time you should be a well-seasoned parent. And hopefully you will have your wife or girlfriend to help you out.

But first and foremost from day one, all you have to do as a new dad is love your child and take care of him or her just the same. Boy or girl.

There is no difference.

Now, I understand that the odds are more likely in favor of a son someday liking baseball or football and playing the games that you did as a child, but it isn't a guarantee.

It is just as likely that your son will become an artist, musician or avid hater of sports.

In fact, I know plenty of girls who are far more athletic or interested in sports than some of the guys I know.

So, to right out of the gate be hoping you don't have a daughter seems premature to me, especially since the odds are entirely 50/50, meaning there is a good chance it could happen.

If They're Healthy, Be Happy!

Really, throughout the entire pregnancy, all the way to the end, you should only be hoping for two things:

1) The health of your wife or girlfriend
2) The health of your new baby

Once all is said and done and both those things occur there shouldn't be anything to complain about or any reason to be disappointed.

Be happy! You're a new dad!

It's a Girl!

My wife wanted to keep the gender of our baby a surprise, so we decided not to find out until birth. Everything went extremely well throughout the pregnancy and the mystery remained intact.

I can tell you that the moment I first saw my baby girl I was filled with nothing but pride and joy.

I can't imagine the guilt I would still feel today if for even one single second I had thought, "Damn! I wanted a boy."

From my experience, I can tell you that if you have a daughter you will not be disappointed. It will open up a whole new world to you and probably even make you a better man.

So, the next time someone asks you if you want it to be a boy or a girl, please politely respond, "No comment."

Comments

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    • profile image

      gepeTooRs 

      2 years ago

      for everyone! Love this post.It is helpful.

    • vibesites profile image

      vibesites 

      4 years ago from United States

      That's really touching from a real dad's perspective and experience! Until your daughter reaches adolescence you still can engage into a rough and tumble, playful mood. You're right, having a daughter will make you a better man -- you will be kind of overprotective and mindful of a girl's needs and feelings.

      I hate it when some fathers are disappointed that their babies (especially a first born baby) turn out to be daughters and not sons as they expect. It's not the daughters' fault, but as you have implied it's the father's "contributions". Children are blessings, whether they be sons or daughters.

    • profile image

      Mylindaminka 

      5 years ago

      Так на начальной стадии смешительства тонзуру с одной спальней, можно было приобрести за 112 тыс.евро, а трех-косные апартаменты с полной отделкой обошлись своим владельцам в сумму не намного превышающую 500 тысяч долларов, что совсем не дорого для апартаментов класса люкс, находящихся на первой линии от моря.

    • profile image

      Futamarka 

      5 years ago

      Категория флеш-приколов будет интересна людям всех возрастов, и можно такие игры скачать бесплатно. Такие игры предназначены для приятного отдыха и расслабления. Сюжет игр-приколов может заключаться в банальном мордобое или зажигательных танцах. Роднит такие игры одно – возможность от души похохотать. Флеш-приколы обычно имеют достаточно примитивный сюжет, несложную графику. Но их забавные герои заставляют улыбнуться даже самых серьезных людей.

    • profile image

      H2Omuhammad 

      5 years ago

      Yes, daughters are wonderful! Warning Ahead: there comes a point that you become the odd man out. I have two daughters (no boys) and from ages: day one to 13 years of age it is special, then overnight, you are not in the loop! I have had to pretend to like Justin Bieber to remain relevant in conversations but draw the line at toe nail polish shopping. Enjoy it while it lasts!

    • RhebaE profile image

      RhebaE 

      7 years ago from San Francisco Bay Area, CA

      Great to hear a father's perspective. Enjoyed this article. I have two girlfriends who are married to fine husbands thanks to their fathers. Their dads trained them to avoid bad choices and even got rid of those who didn't treat their daughters like a Queen. Girls growing up need to feel protected by their fathers or else they are vulnerable to the wrong people.

    • bogerk profile imageAUTHOR

      bogerk 

      7 years ago from Midwest

      wytegarillaz -

      That sounds like pretty good advice to me! Thanks for reading.

    • wytegarillaz profile image

      wytegarillaz 

      7 years ago from Australia

      Having children is awesome ! I was fortunate to have 3 beautiful girls who are now , 26 , 23 , 18 & 2 grandkids.

      Every age has something special about it. My big advice is always let her know you love her and give hugs .

    • bogerk profile imageAUTHOR

      bogerk 

      7 years ago from Midwest

      Hi kereeves3 -

      I have heard that girls can be harder to raise, but so far I haven't noticed a difference (although we are very early in).

      I'm sure you will love being a parent either way.

      Thanks for reading!

    • kereeves3 profile image

      Karen 

      7 years ago from Salem, OR

      My husband and I always get into little arguments over this topic. Not big fights, just verbal disagreements. We don't have kids yet, but HE is the one who wants girls and I want boys. Deep down, we know that it really doesn't matter; we will absolutely adore them no matter what. But I feel like girls are more difficult to raise, speaking from personal experience, being a girl and all. My sister and I were MUCH more difficult for my parents than my brother was. Anyway, great hub!

    • bogerk profile imageAUTHOR

      bogerk 

      7 years ago from Midwest

      Hi oceansnsunsets -

      I agree. Having a daughter is wonderful, just as I assume having a son would be. I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world.

      Thanks for reading!

    • oceansnsunsets profile image

      Paula 

      7 years ago from The Midwest, USA

      This is a great hub, and I liked hearing your point of view on this subject. It was sweet to hear you talk about your daughter the way you did, and it is bound to be encouraging to others. Children are gifts, and things are meant to be the way they are for a reason.

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