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To the parent who made me feel like I was just money

Updated on July 22, 2016

To the parent who made me feel like I was just money. I love you. But making me feel like I was just some money that came out of your paycheck really hurts. All I wanted was for you to be there. But it seemed as though, you were annoyed at the fact that you had money coming out of your hard earned paycheck. I know you have a family of your own to support, but that doesn't mean that I'm not your child too.

Growing up, people would ask who you were and why they had never seen you around before or a lot. I would tell them that my parents are divorced and that would be the end of it. I thought it was cool to have two birthdays, two Christmases, etc. but it isn't. Not if two people can't co-parent. It's miserable.

For years I've tried to figure out how to make it easier and not to see what was so clearly in front of me. I wanted you to love me for who I am. I know you tell me you love me and I believe you. But the way you talk about people like me, makes me wonder.

It hurts knowing that you never really got to know me. The real me. Do you know my favorite color? My favorite song? How I'm doing in school? Or the person I'm in love with? All I've ever wanted was a relationship with you.

But I am so proud of you. My younger siblings know who both of their parents are and know they are loved. I'm so proud of you for learning how to be a parent and to be a care taker. Maybe one day we'll be able to have a normal parent/ child relationship. Until then, I hope it makes you happy that no more money is coming out of your paycheck.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 11 months ago

      You don't say which parent you're referring to mother or father.

      However lets say it's your father: Most divorce men resent their ex-wives and unfortunately view the offspring of that marriage or relationship as being (her). This is especially true if she is constantly pestering him about money or trying to steal his joy with a new mate.

      Can you imagine "hating someone" and yet being forever tied to them?

      Some men feel like if they send their support check or alimony money to their ex they're upholding their end of the bargain.

      While this isn't fair to the child it also becomes more understandable when that child eventually has their own "failed relationships" or marriage. A part of you will not want to have {anything} to do with your ex!

      Once a child becomes an adult and deals with breakups of their own they might be able to forgive their parents and how they handled it.

      Trust me it was never about "you". If your parents had gotten along better after the divorce your life would have been different.

      One of your other hubs mentions that (you) yourself hold grudges. One can only imagine how many divorced couples hold grudges against one another or wish them ill will.

      Ultimately a divorce is a public admission that a "mistake" was made in the "mate selection process" by one or both people in their decision to marry.

    • Jay C OBrien profile image

      Jay C OBrien 13 months ago from Houston, TX USA

      Almost 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce. Divorce hurts children emotionally. It is not the children's fault, but the parents. All the child can do is learn to forgive the parents.

      My mother divorced my father because he was mentally ill. That is easy to understand and forgive. Why was he born mentally ill?

      Lastly, if you ever need to get a divorce, get a good lawyer!