To the woman I love but will never know
I have never really thought about what I would say to you if we ever met face to face, until recently. We were just flutters in each other's lives that will forever be finger printed on each other's hearts. I think about you every day and hope that you do too, in the same way, with love and admiration.
When you were fifteen, you gave birth to a little girl that was sick and too small. I want you to know that I am now twenty-four years old and have overcome all of those obstacles and so many more with stride through the support of a loving family that I am with thanks to you. You gave me the best gift in the world when you decided to not keep me as your daughter and I thank you every day for your selflessness.
I have always been terrified that my image of you that I have built up over the years is just a fantasy. I vision you as a strong young woman with beautiful children, a loving husband, and a lovely home filled with happiness and warmth.
I grew up in South Florida with the most amazing parents and extended family that a child could ask for. When I was younger I loved to ride horses and played the drums. I got almost all A's all the way through high school. I went to college but decided that I was happier in the work force. I am blessed to live a full, happy life still in South Florida. I have an amazing boyfriend that I plan to spend the rest of my life with. Through him and my family I am loved and supported. I could not imagine my life any different or better.
If there was one thing that I would want you to know is that I am loved. That I am right where God wanted me to be and that you were the first person to ever help me reach this amazing life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. As I get older and start to think about having a family of my own, I think about you more. I do not wish to meet you face to face at this time because even though I grew in your stomach and you brought me into this world, I believe our journey together had come to an end in that hospital room. I am my parents' daughter and you helped me get to them and I love you so much for that.
I hope that your feel the same way and that if you ever do read this that it finds your well and loved. I also hope that you understand my reasoning behind my feelings and if they are not shared, at least, they are respected.
With all of my love, Kristen Hope Mazzola
Crashing Back Down by Author Kristen Hope Mazzola, her debut novel, is now LIVE!! Don't miss out on this awesome read!