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Today I Caught Myself Wondering...

Updated on April 7, 2018

Today I caught myself wondering if we took the kids to the park enough to play on the slide. Did we have enough bubble baths or horsey rides? Did we ring enough rosies or give enough Eskimo kisses? Were there enough pillow forts? Did we read enough Seuss or sing enough Berkner or have enough stories featuring talking animals and children heroes? Did we play in the mud enough in our big rubber boots or dip our fingers in enough colorful sticky paint? Did enough toy cars drive enough imaginary miles and did enough pretend doggies chase enough imaginary bones? Did we tie on enough capes and wish on enough stars? Was there enough magic and imaginative wonder?


Tears fall as I think about the fact that slowly and suddenly all of those times have met their ends and while their new reality is amazing it's also different and while I have gained so much as a mother of young teens, everything they no longer want or need or cherish or have left behind has left a hole.


I just hope that it was enough because when it's the last time you don't know. You assume that it's just one of many. That surely hundreds more dinosaurs will be marching, marching and surely their outstretched arms will fly them to infinity and beyond an infinite amount. But they don't. They don't.

Suddenly and slowly you realize that those precious moments are gone and something new is there. Something good. Something as equally as fleeting. But still, you mourn a little for the loss. And it scares you. It scares you so bad because for the first time you realize exactly how little time forever really is. How tomorrow came and went when you thought it would linger yet ahead of you and somehow it slipped through your grasp into yesterday and last week and last year...

You know that you should have done more but the only thing you can do is hope. Hope that it was enough. And that this time tomorrow waits a little longer so that today can stay a while yet.

Do you feel as though you have done enough?

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How would you rate your own childhood?

3 out of 5 stars from 2 ratings of Your Childhood

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    • Angel Van Atta profile image
      Author

      Angel Van Atta 3 years ago from Delhi, California

      Awwweee, thank you so very much for your kind words. It really does mean a lot to me.

    • MarieLB profile image

      MarieLB 3 years ago from YAMBA NSW

      It was such a pleaure to read this article. It tells me that you have the right priorities for your family. Your children are blessed with a loving and creative mother. Beautiful read, thank you.

    • Angel Van Atta profile image
      Author

      Angel Van Atta 3 years ago from Delhi, California

      Thank you so very much.

    • petenali profile image

      Pete 3 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      I think all parents question this at some time or another. The result is that they find themselves doing two things. Firstly they tend to beat themselves up over missed opportunities. Secondly they catch themselves striving to impart to parents of young children to value every second with them because the time between 2 years old and 19 years old takes exactly one week!

      I enjoyed your thoughts and recognize them in my own life. When I am honest with myself I have to say that I did the best I could and choose to trust that God will take up the slack.

      Very nice hub.

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