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Toys I Played With

Updated on March 13, 2013
Don't worry baby, after we get hurt they will improve strollers
Don't worry baby, after we get hurt they will improve strollers

Kids Today Owe Me

Ah, the toys I played with. The kids today owe my generation a lot. Today's toys are tested for safety.Why? Because my generation was mangled, disabled, even died from faulty toys. The sacrifices my generation made as children have redefined parenting.

My pacifier was made out of early plastic. There were no studies on how sucking on plastic for 24 hours would affect babies. For all they knew we could have grown a third eye. No doctor's would work on fixing that. You would be sold to the freak show. That's why they were so popular back then.

Lead paint, my generation discovered it was bad for you. We gnawed at the window sill. We peeled the paint chips off the wall and ate them. Paint chips, potato chips, we didn't know the difference. It tasted good, that's all we knew. A lot of us became retarded. Oh I know that's politically incorrect, but back then you were retarded.

Today a good parent locks the cabinets so the little ones can't get to the cleaning products. My patents gave me a chemistry set and left me unsupervised. I created some wicked stuff. Who knows if I smart or just lucky. I didn't blow up the house.

Small pieces you can swallow. Who do you think discovered they could be swallowed? It wasn't a problem until sibling rivalry took over. In hindsight, trying to see who could swallow the biggest or most pieces wasn't smart. Again, we were babies. Once enough of us died, then the safety advocates stepped in.

As kids my generation, like today's kids, were told not to play with matches. Yet my parents gave me a wood burning kit. Like that wouldn't suppress the pyromaniac in me. Same thing with Creepy Crawlers. Why do you think the baby boomers are so fascinated with wax as a sex aid. Creepy Crawlers is why. We grew up with hot liquid on our bodies.

Car safety, another sacrifice we made. Many good children died in the name of car safety . Seatbelts in the backseat, unheard of. That was our domain as kids. We would lie down an sleep. We would sit on the floor. We would climb up by the rear window. No one cared. Baby car seats, not in my time. I was always sitting on someone's lap. They weren't wearing a seatbelt, so if they went out the window, I go.Took a lot of deaths before people caught on.

Today everyone panics when they see a child left in the car alone. Even animals have rights on this issue. In my day not only were you left in the car, the windows were up. You were told not to unlock the door for anyone. Sometimes the car would be running. Officer Joe would see you and just wave as he entered the store. Now the police come with Child Services. The fire department uses the jaws of Life to get you out. Mom and Dad go to jail. My generation made that happen.

Other things my generation brought to the attention of the safety freaks:

Lawn Darts. How many of us got hurt before they were banned.

Non Toxic Crayons. Many a day I had multi -colored pooped from eating crayons. Funny thing is the reds never tasted like strawberry, nor the purple like grape.

Window guards for the second story. Don't remember being able to fly as a kid, but no one cared if you crawled out onto the roof.

Plastic sleds. Ever get run over by an old sled? It could cut your arm off. Nobody cared.

With the advances made in protecting the children of the today, I think we need to be reminded of those who sacrificed themselves for the future. Those lost from my generation need a voice. I aim to be that voice.I have to be that voice. Somehow. by the grace of God, I managed to survive.


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