"True Love Replaced Her Memories"
Be Present In Love
I did not recognize my grandmother as sickly. It did not occur to me that she lost anything of her memories. It was the story she repeated several times that caught my attention, as if she was trying to get through a message. Was it me or herself she was convincing or sharing? I listened over and over for sometimes we miss the important parts, the first time.
To be honest, in general people have horrible attention spans and if they listen at all it is far in between. I have found in life and in my experiences that people are in such a hurry, and displaced in spirit that listening is as far removed as space. Too many times have I tried to get the attention of one I was sharing conversation, or a proud moment only to be ignored, mumbled off or "oh thats good honey." Are you serious?
This hearing -a sound and not listening to what it is someone is conveying lead me to become a woman who would make a life mission in listening to what it was people were trying to say or not say. My undivided attention would be a gift I would gladly give. So getting back to my grama, I was patient and loved hearing her voice. I can still hear it, the sound of her laugh tears me up in a most joyful way, I can actually feel her! I am grateful I payed attention.
Yes - she was outgoing, free spirited and heartfelt she was my favorite person! Her Soul, timeless. Others thought her mad and crazy as hell. But did they ever truly dare to listen, were they ever so patient to truly take the time to know who she was - embarrassed some were, maybe jealous too, sadly. Some of her own children felt she was a disgrace. For she dressed not for others but herself. She was outspoken, no programmed spell. For her laughter was like bursts of evidence that the kid in her still remained.
I recall a story she would tell a few times, I remember it well because it was when I first seen the dementia- as they would call it. I refer to it as memory restored because the thing is for every memory no longer needed, a new one, or old one emerges. You see there are times in our lives that we cover up, hide, or run from, we think we delete it but the time comes when our minds naturally recover and automatically begin to shift truth I see this very clearly for I am a Medium Intuitive, sensitive to "what is present" not fearing what others don't want to know or afraid to know.
The story was of her late husband and in short he left her in a time; she was pregnant with her 6th child, my father. This man who in fact betrayed his family and himself for hurt he caused, may in true lead to my grandmother storing it away. There was a time he tried to make peace and come back, but with all her strength, willed him away. My grams not one for easy forgiveness, like many. When it came to outside our intermediate family, of course. Some thought of her as cold but I believe it was her huge heart, she had to protect it, for how much pain can one person take?!
Dementia would speak these words aloud though my memory plays it like this; With an intense glare and sincere presence, it captivated me in a way, anyway this is what she said "I forgive my husband and still, I love him." Those very words, I declare!
A few times over the months that passed she repeated, again. I knew the time was coming her life she was mending, for heaven would take her soon and this thought killed me, had me up many a nights. But it was in my heart to listen to her and for her to say she loved him and forgave him. A miracle not an illness was apparent to me, clearly she was conscious for she was brave enough to go where we fear - to forgive and love unconditionally.
So do not try to keep your loved ones for they are brave to wonder, the Spirit knows better. "Be love" and not control for they love you so. Listen to them, laugh with them but do not pity them and worse feel despair for yourself. Frustration you may feel but in sincerity and true, love is all there really is. Grow with love for change is evident, it will come so let it in and welcome Truth, Forgiveness and Faith.
Be not afraid for memories "our truth there was love" now love remains in place when memories no longer are clear, no trace of who you are.