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Unsung Tears

Updated on June 28, 2016

On a nice sunny day while visiting her father, four-year-old Grace never knew the seed that would be planted in her mind, which would blossom into a life of confusion, turmoil, depression, insecurity, identity issues, and anger.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” her father asked. “Yes,” She said. “Come here and let me show you something first,” said her father. Being the innocent sweet and quiet child she was, Grace complied. Her father laid her on top of him, took out his genitals, and started tongue kissing her. She pulled her head away and asked him what he was doing and he said, “I’m showing you how to tongue kiss.”

This experience left Grace confused and sexually alert, which would go on to take root and blossom, while being watered by the mean, aggressive, insecure, possessive, and angry-spirit of another man known as her step-father.

Being too young to understand what was going on, Grace went through life struggling with feelings she didn’t understand, thoughts she couldn’t fight, anger she couldn’t escape, and impulsivities she couldn’t control. A child has no experience, knowledge, understanding, and capabilities to work through issues as adults do. So if not dealt with, the child will go all the way to adulthood with problems they can’t explain. They may have difficulty with their relationships, emotional dependency issues, anger, sabotage friendships, difficulty controlling their emotions; they may be very immature, go into fits of rage, fearful, be very sex-driven or not desire sex at all, overprotective, suspicious, tormented, paranoid, jealous, and the list goes on.

In the case of Grace she tried to go out into the world as an adult but the little girl within hadn’t been found, rescued, and healed. Grace’s situation was complicated by a toxic home environment headed by her step-father, being bullied in school, an inability to stand up for herself, and fear.

However, there is a happy ending to Grace’s story. Though it took mid to late 30’s, Grace finally began to heal. She began “facing her giants” through the trials and processes of life. She began looking in the mirror and started coming to an understanding of the issues that surrounded her life. She understood that she didn’t have to be a victim to her circumstances and that she could overcome. She’s still healing but is entering a place of forgiveness—one of the biggest keys to overcoming and success. She’s learning to stop doing and start being.

Many of you reading this may have suffered traumatic experiences in life that caused you great pain in your adult life. You may have a failed marriage or may be failing in your marriage because you never faced what happened to you all those years ago. Whatever it is (e.g., rape, sexual, physical, mental, or spiritual abuse) get help. You don’t have to carry your weight alone. Tell someone. If you’re being manipulated into silence by false religious beliefs, don’t believe it. It’s not true. God does not want you to suffer. He does not want you abused. He wants you healthy and whole. What happened to you is NOT your fault. Tell someone.

Be patient with yourself and submit to the process of healing for your life. It may take time but it will be well worth it. Surround yourself with people that are healthy, positive, and have your best interest at heart. You WILL make it. You ARE an overcomer!

May Jesus keep your mind in perfect peace as you go through your process of healing.

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