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Valentines Jokes For Kids, Including Valentine Knock Knock Jokes

Updated on January 21, 2011
Photo:  RookieShooter, Flickr
Photo: RookieShooter, Flickr

Celebrate Valentine's Day!


Every season needs a good joke. Here are Valentine's jokes for kids collected from around the web, all G-Rated. Jokes are more than just fun for kids. They help to develop language in a fun way. They say the pun is the highest form of language development. Experts agree that telling jokes develops language skills. Embrace your inner goofball and help your children learn at the same time with these cute Valentine's jokes for kids.


Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? Because it's all heart.

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? Forget-me-nuts.

What did the letter say to the stamp? You send me.

What did the stamp say to the envelope? I'm stuck on you.

What is a vampire's sweetheart called? His ghoul-friend.

Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn't get a date.

What is a ram's favorite song? I only have eyes for ewe, Dear

What happens when you fall in love with a french chef? You get buttered up.

What is the difference between a girl who is sick of her boyfriend and a sailor who falls into the ocean? One is bored over a man the other is a man overboard.

If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her? Antelope.

What did the light bulb say to the switch? You turn me on.

Did Adam and Eve ever have a date? No, but they had an apple.

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?

What did the valentine card say to the stamp? Stick with me and we'll go places!

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day? Ughs and kisses!

What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine's Day? I Love Ewe!

What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine's Day? Owl be yours!

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day? Cauliflowers!

What do you call a very small Valentine? A Valentiny!

What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day? I'm nuts about you!

What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine's Day? You're nuts so bad yourself!

What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.

What did the bat say to his girlfriend? You're fun to hang around with.

What did one light bulb say to the other? I love you a whole watt!

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? I love you a ton!

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? I'm sweet on you!

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day? Hog and kisses!

Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion!

What did the pencil say to the paper? I dot my i's on you!

What did one pickle say to the other? You mean a great dill to me.

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? Sure, they're very scent-imental!

Knock, Knock

Who's there?


Olive who?

Olive you!

Knock knock

Who'e there?


Frank who?

Frank you for being my friend!

Knock knock

Who's there?


Howard who?

Howard you like a big kiss?

Knock knock

Who's there?


Sherwood who?

Sherwood like to be your valentine!

Knock, knock

Who's there?


Pooch who?

Pooch your arms around me, baby!


Submit a Comment

  • Celebrates profile image

    Celebrates 2 years ago

    These are all so cute. They would make good Valentine's Day cards for kids. The joke could be on the outside of like a heart shaped card and the punchline could be on the inside. I like clean jokes and you are right about these puns are good for kids in developing language skills.

  • profile image

    taylor shumski 4 years ago

    what did the envolope say when you lick it.........

    answer/nothing???? it shuts up

    ha ha ha lol get it :)

  • Anjo Bacarisas II profile image

    Anjo Bacarisas II 5 years ago from Cagayan de Oro, Philippines

    like the jokes so much, you're an expert! ths made my day very wonderful, keep hubbing! your great :)

  • profile image

    sk178 6 years ago

    Hey you forgot this cute one:

    What did one piece of bread say to the other? I loaf you dough much!

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    Citlalli 6 years ago

    why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?

    Because it might crack up.

    by th e way i'm only nine

  • profile image

    pielover 6 years ago

    these r awesome!

    thanx lela

  • profile image

    selly432 6 years ago

    this rocks! my kids really love these!

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    jollipeach 6 years ago

    thank you for the jokes it makes my grandchildren's day when i put jokes on their lunchbags

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    jmxhcfx 6 years ago

    this is supposed to be for kids

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    computer freak 6 years ago


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    ukantseemecuzirock 6 years ago

    amazingly awesome i laughed my heart out lissning

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    NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 6 years ago


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    awesomerthanu 6 years ago


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    rockinggrandma 6 years ago


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    Cierra 7 years ago

    hi i am Cierra and i love more Jokes i have many Jokes Books all about Jokes Knock Knock Jokes

  • profile image

    Cierra 7 years ago

    hi my name is cierra brown i love joke

  • BkCreative profile image

    BkCreative 7 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

    Thanks so much - these bring back so many fun memories - and of course we must share them with each generation!

    Children love this stuff! Thanks so much!

  • profile image

    M&M 7 years ago

    These are soo Funny!! :D

  • profile image

    faiza 7 years ago

    nic joke

  • lovelife999 profile image

    lovelife999 7 years ago

    nice jokes, i enjoyed.

  • lovelife999 profile image

    lovelife999 7 years ago

    nice jokes, i enjoyed.

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    casy 7 years ago

    love the jokes cant wait to see more me and my sisters are laughing so hard my sister peed in her pants

  • profile image

    casy 7 years ago

    awesome jokes i loved them

  • 397268 profile image

    397268 8 years ago

    Great one liners

  • profile image

    jgu 8 years ago

    Nice Nice I love them

  • Hazok profile image

    Hazok 9 years ago from Malaysia

    great. thanks. I surely be using them.

  • creatingwealth profile image

    creatingwealth 9 years ago

    Thanks for jokes. Happy Valentine's Day!

  • John Austwick profile image

    John Austwick 9 years ago from Bolton

    Laughing with my grandchildren really made my day. Thank You.

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    wiser now 9 years ago from Vista CA

    I started reading these with my granddaughter and even my husband joined in the laughter. Thank you!

  • Lela Davidson profile image

    Lela Davidson 9 years ago from Bentonville, Arkansas

    Thanks for all the compliments, but I feel compelled to reiterate that I didn't make these up! Just collected the best I found. I'm glad we're all enjoying the jokes!

  • sim71 profile image

    sim71 9 years ago from Norwich, Norfolk, UK

    These jokes are great Lela,

    Keep up the good work.

  • AnnaEstelle profile image

    AnnaEstelle 9 years ago from Boston

    It's refreshing to hear Valentine's Day jokes-or any jokes for that matter-that don't have a raunchy undertone. Kudos for the creativity!

  • compu-smart profile image

    Compu-Smart 9 years ago from London UK

    I used to love jokes and i only know one now which i like...

    Here goes....How do you keep an idiot in suspence?........... i will tell you next week! hehe..

    If this joke is not suitable for kids you can delete this comment:)

  • Stacie Naczelnik profile image

    Stacie Naczelnik 9 years ago from Seattle

    Lela, these are so cute! As a child, I loved reading and telling jokes like these.

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    Garden Furniture 9 years ago from Harrogate

    Great hub, very interesting and very funny hubpage.

  • Lela Davidson profile image

    Lela Davidson 9 years ago from Bentonville, Arkansas

    Thanks everyone! I'm glad the jokes are a hit. Jokes make kids smart so keep sharing!

  • Vinnie V profile image

    Vinnie V 9 years ago

    Great list Lela. I especially love the knock knock jokes. I'm definitely going to tell these to my 4 yr. old to try to get his favorite knock knock out of his head. It goes like this:

    Knock Knock...

    Who's there...

    I gotta goap...

    I gotta goap who?

    Then he just starts cracking up! :-)

  • exinco profile image

    exinco 9 years ago from Malaysia

    nice, love it

  • BarbaraMay profile image

    BarbaraMay 9 years ago from Canada

    Chuckles. I'm bookmarking this page for my four boys to read in the morning. Thanks very much.

  • MrMarmalade profile image

    MrMarmalade 9 years ago from Sydney

    What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on

    Valentine's Day? I'm nuts about you!


    Thank you

  • Blogger Mom profile image

    Blogger Mom 9 years ago from Northeast, US

    Hehe...My four year old is just getting into knock-knock jokes and these are perfect! Thanks!

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    dooda 9 years ago

    Very Cute. Will tells these to my kid.


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    james 9 years ago

    dese jokes iz cool yo

  • MoralsEthics1960 profile image

    MoralsEthics1960 9 years ago from Florida

    You are a blessing after a hard day i used these on my granddaughter"knock knock jokes" and made her happy and laughing.Thank you for the post

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    Harmony 9 years ago

    Thanks Lela! I've already read them to my oldest twice. I'm always running out of "clean" jokes ;)


  • amy jane profile image

    amy jane 9 years ago from Connecticut

    These are so cute! My kids will really love some new material -especially the knock-knock jokes!