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The Challenges of Being a Housewife
Being a housewife is a rewarding yet unappreciated job
Making a home is not as easy as making a house. Making a home involves nurturing souls. It gives the household a sense of warmth and comfort but no woman should lose herself in all that. A woman should nurture others while she nurtures herself too.
Times are changing and in some households the "standard" gender roles interchange once in a while. Some couples have a duty roster and there's no male job or female job in that house. They not only share the house chores but also contribute uniformly financially. In this scenario, being a housewife is not an option.
But in other households, the stereotypical gender roles are upheld. The mother could still be a career woman but she is still the major home-maker. Sometimes they could still be contributing uniformly financially towards the home. In this setting, the lady doesn't have a chance at being a housewife because she is expected to contribute financially too.
Being a housewife could be a choice from the start. She probably is overwhelmed trying to imagine how she will juggle both her career and her motherly and wifely duties. So she quits her job while her husband is willing to be the only breadwinner.
Or, she might have been laid off at work. Or she just cannot find work. Sometimes she could make a choice or life might make her choice for her. But women should generally find themselves something to do while even while houseworking.
Do some online business. Write articles. Take up an online course. Remember, the children will soon be in school and you will be left at home houseworking. Trust me, very few people will notice your contribution. Few men appreciate a housewife's role. She cleans, cooks, turns the house into a home but when he is asked by strangers and peers what his wife does the common response would be "...nothing. She just stays at home."
It's comfortable waking up in the morning and taking care of your family within or out of their absence. But that's a thankless job. At some point, your husband will start getting worn out and thinking of you as a burden. A human beings' needs are endless. That's why we get educated - so that we might one day make an income and take care of our needs. Our own parents cannot provide for us all our lives and we expect a partner to do that?
Indeed the housewife does work. If she wasn't a housewife, the couple would have to hire a help. But it's not considered as work. Most people do not appreciate houseworking. The retort has been, " ..you want to be paid for doing your role?"
It could give you comfort knowing that you handle everything in your home.That your children and husband are well taken care of. But to them, that might seem as you contributing as the wife and mother but you still are not contributing financially and so you " do not contribute anything".
You are better off bringing in some little income than being a housewife. You will need to buy something for yourself and you will get bitter having to request your disgruntled husband to fund you. He is already overwhelmed raising his children and now he has to take care of you too as able-bodied as you are. Eventually it turns to resentment and disrespect and that's how your marriage ends.
Finance is the number one reason why most marriages fail. Times are hard. There was an equality movement and women were educated and empowered too and now most men are looking for an "independent woman". Dating while broke is just as hard for women as it is for men. In the past all she had to do was just to show up. But now he expects her to help pay the bills. He likes when she asks him out and pays the bill entirely sometimes. And then you go on and be a housewife?
Do not believe a man who says he does not mind providing wholly. Some men are intimidated by successful women or women who " have their own" and will therefore even suggest that the lady quits her job. For such men it's about control. He wants to make sure that she depends on him. In the long run it will be a burden on him. After he has control over the woman, what next? He starts getting annoyed about providing for her. She becomes a burden. That may not be the case in all marriages but most of them wind up like that. And when the marriage ends she starts afresh.
Being a housewife can therefore keep you in an abusive marriage because you don't have money to sustain yourself. So you stay because you need him to keep providing.
A woman must have financial wings. You do not have to be wealthy but you should have an income no matter how little. As a housewife you should still have your own source of income. Try some indoor jobs. Open a home-based daycare. Bake cakes. Sew clothes. Do something that brings in some money. Be empowered.