What Being A Mom Really Means
The Truth.
Those Funny and Gross Stories.
My hair had baby food in it, and my shirt was covered in drool. That was a good day, one time I remember when I went to work once I noticed spit up on my work vest and gummy bears attached to my pants. Having food on your outfit when you're single and childless makes you a slob, when you're a parent you live by a whole different set of rules of social acceptability. The picture I posted was the inspiration for this post, and it made me consider this. It's completely true. So I decided to share the lessons I've learned about how parenting changes you.
1) What's that smell? That smell might be your bundle of joy's diaper, in fact it probably is. But in this case, that smell is also the smell of "new mom". "New mom" smell is the smell of showering twice a week if you're lucky and making your shower whatever diaper wipe, over compensating with deodorant and body mist, and washing your hair in the sink when your baby naps for 5 minutes. Don't worry, a few months later you can move up to 3 showers a week, but only 5 minute showers. And shaving your legs is a luxury, just saying.
2) But Seriously, what's that smell? This case is poop. Baby poop ends up everywhere, and sometimes you smell it around until you can find out exactly where it comes from. Baby poop, just like everything else baby, is projectile. After a late night change, I smelled that smell for a bit, and I couldn't find out why until the next morning, when I saw poop everywhere. You'll look down and find some on your pants, in your hair, on your dog's hair. (Truth, this happened.) You can rest assured though, when they eat solid food, you no longer have to worry about this.
3) Diapers for Mommy? I admit it, I considered this for the first few months after doing the "let me put you down so I can pee" dance. I didn't, because the idea seemed too gross. But I definitely considered it.
4) Boobs for all? If I walked down the street and pulled down my shirt, exposing my "assets" to the world, I would probably be arrested. (Next Tuesday, I will dedicate my Hub to breastfeeding and my thoughts on breastfeeding in public.) As a mom who provides nutrition via my breasts, it's perfectly acceptable for me to expose myself whenever I want. Also, nursing moms aren't looked at as "slutty" for low-cut shirts. I wonder if it's because we really can't help how they "fit".
These are just four minor examples on how parenting makes certain things more socially acceptable. New parents can fall asleep randomly, go to bed at 9, smell like feces and sour milk, and look like hell. That's just being parents. Eventually they grow up, and you get to pull yourself together. Or find an excuse to be lazy. Until then, enjoy every moment because they eventually stop using you as a diaper. Maybe you could share your "new parent" discovery.
