- Family and Parenting
What Is Blood In Family?
Diversified or Divided?
In recent years it has become apparent that younger generations consider family not to be only blood. Many consider friends, and even pets as family. Some even consider blood to be worse family than an outsider. From trauma, seclusion, or mistreatment. In past articles others have asked similar questions, and some of the answers from teens around the world can baffle you. Here is the associated article link:
And associated are some of the comments by teens showing exactly what some of us are afraid to say aloud, or just don't want to admit to ourselves.
lyshley 2b December 2, 2013 · 2:12 pm
My family is people who love me and care for me, so family means lovers. Of course! My blood related, but not all of them are considered family. That’s the reason why I feel that family it is people who love and consider you because a friend can be a family it is depend to the relationship you’ve built. Sometimes a person who is not your blood related can care about you more than your blood related. For some people their family is their domestic’s animals because some of them feel that their animals were always there for them when they feel lonely or need affection.
Brynna December 3, 2013 · 1:48 pm
When I think of the word “family” the first thing that comes to mind is how messed up mine is. My family is dysfunctional because of my parents divorce, my brother and sisters mental disorders, and my asperger’s syndrome. I don;t really have anyone who plays a family role outside my family. When I aaas little I knew this old couple who treated me like family, but they are now deceased. They used to live a block away and all of there grandkids lived far away. Even though my family has it’s ups and downs I know I can rely on them if i ever need anything. The role they play for me are my friends and I can rely on them.
Cassie January 16, 2015 · 8:55 am
i think of my friends and people i have known for a long time. i just consider family the people who are there for me when i’m sick or hurt. sometimes i don’t consider some of my blood family appart of me because most of my family isn’t always there for me.
Who is YOUR family?
Who do YOU consider Family?
Does Support Equal Family?
Tragedy Tests Blood?
(Names are changed to secure privacy of the following parties!)
A woman growing up in southern Minnesota, sat down with me the other day to tell me about her life, her daughter also discussed how the tragedy played on into her own life as well. This woman grew up with a large amount of siblings herself, with a mother who drank far to much. This mother of hers told her that her father had died in jail before she could meet him. So to this woman who I will call Jane, her life had already started out with her family drifting away. Abuse from Jane's mother and even her only brother whom shared the same father, making her reluctant to trust her closest blood relatives. Her half siblings judged her for her birth father for whom she did not even know, nor could she have chosen. Growing up she clung to men and partying to pass the time, and at the age of 14 her life took a drastic turn. According to journals she shared with me, Jane was raped by a man in his 20's, and from that action became pregnant. Now with all the trauma in her past, Jane saw this child as a blessing, someone who HAD to love her because it was her own child. Because of her age, and court battles that insued. The child, who was born a baby girl was taken from her within the first few years. This daughter of hers I will call Hope, as her story was also quite tragic. Being sent to live with the father who raped Jane, poor Hope was subject to sexual abuse as well, and the grandparents she was supposed to trust denied and hid her fathers actions. She lived her life trying to be the opposite of Jane because everyone told her how horrible her mothers life had been. Sadly as she had no mother to guide her, Hope also became pregnant young, but not knowing much about life, death, or her own body, she was manipulated into having an abortion. Her senior year in high school she had to live with the ridicule of either lying about her pregnancy, or being called a murderer when she herself barely stayed alive after realizing what she had done. Hope became suicidal, and even tried taking her own life. The family who shared her blood was not there for her, and very few friends stayed through these tough times. Once she got out on her own, and tried to start her life, it seemed to be getting better. At 19 she meet her now to be husband in a college dorm, after being together a few months, even with birth control, she became pregnant. Having her own first daughter at 20 years old, she felt blessed to have her daughter and what she considered her soul mate beside her. The grandparents who had betrayed her still try to love and help her to quietly make up for the things they had done, although they seem to never truly change, she accepts them in her life. She herself had to go through rape, abuse, and seeing others die bloody in front of her eyes. The saddest part of this is after Jane left Hope revealed that her mother Jane had in fact been so damaged when younger, that she used and hurt and lied to her own children constantly. After Hope's sister had become and adult and moved out of Jane's house it went downhill. Jane started trying to rely on a manipulate Hope, knowing she had her own family to care for. Hope speculates that because of Jane's failed relationships she is bitter that Hope has a happy family who has stuck together and really doesn't need Jane around. Hope has told me that she believes yes blood family is important, and sometimes we may want to trust them and keep giving them chances because like Jane we think because they are our blood and stuck with us genetically, that they will change and have to love and care for us. Hope knows now that while it is important to try with your blood family, sometimes friends, pets, and even strangers can give you more comfort and support. She encourages everyone to try with everyone they meet blood or not to show compassion, but also tread lightly and be careful not to let yourself be a doormat just because you love someone. Respect yourself, and choose your family based on your own standards. Today Hope plans a wedding with blood and non blood family alike, in hopes of trying to not only be understanding, but to maybe see who is truly there for her and her new family. So what would you decide? From a life like this, like Hope's or Jane's, how would it affect your view of family? Please leave comments below on your thoughts!