What It's Like to Parent a Child With Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
If most parents are like me, they spend an exhausting amount of time caring and attempting to prepare their children for the many challenges of life. Therefore, when a child fails and needs the kinds of help kids requires to do well, it's heartbreaking to watch them stress and struggle. All a parent wants to do is encourage and give the right support. Especially given the fact that the school system doesn’t often teach children with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) much and they experience constant failure.
When children have Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), They are labeled as having behavior problems, and that makes it even harder to assist them to build a solid foundation to live a lifelong successful life. When a parent read about learning and attention issue it's something to think about but it an entirely different thing when they witness the progeny through their child’s eyes. Children with an Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) have a tough time fitting in and being accepted by other children their age. Parent will need to know how to find a solution to this issue.
Every person with ADHD already knows that destination addiction is part of their disorder. However, if it doesn’t have a positive outlet, it can destroy your life. It is not another person that will make your life better; it is the qualities in them that you admire. Incorporate those attributes into your own life and you won’t miss a thing.
Shannon L. Alder
When I first learned my son had ADHD, it was a hard pill for me to swallow. Moreover, most people do not realize how much ADHD can impact a child and take serious effect on the family's life. Before my son was diagnosed with ADHD, He was one of the most artistic, happy, and kind kids I know. But it seems as if one morning he woke up and his entire life went South, and It was an awkward situation for the family, his friends and everybody that came in contact with him.
I work for the school system for a little over seven years so, therefore, I knew there are many curriculum paths I could choose. I took the time to learn everything I need to know to make sure my son satisfactorily completed all coursework for his grade. Also, I knew that not all students are of equal caliber when it comes to academic performance. My son “Attention Issues” put him in the disadvantaged in the study category. Therefore, I had to come up with strategic studying techniques. I was able to find an excellent vital study method, which raised my son self-esteem and made him more eager to learn.
As a parent, with a child with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) that struggled to adjust in life, I immediately begin searching for answers to my son issue. I learn the answers were not so black and white and it would not be an easy task finding the right solution. Especially since caring for a child with special needs can become a full-time job. I’ve always thought of myself as a loving and patient mother who worked with children and teens for over seven years in the school system. I have taught many children with learning and focused disability, but when my son was diagnosed with ADHD, it was hard for me to put myself in his shoes.
And once I became a parent to a child with ADHD, I started to question myself and my ability to prepare and teach children with special needs. My son was diagnosed at the age of seven, and after being diagnosed, the school setting started to increase his attention challenges. I think the hardest part was watching my child experience isolation and depression after withdrawing from extracurricular activities, especially since I knew He was cut short of a lot of opportunities and it had a crippling effect on me. Although I knew He had a hard time sitting still for long periods, ADHD threw me for a loop.
Immediately after he was diagnosed, I search and learn everything I could about ADHD. I understood his hard challenges to sit for an extended period and His issue of fitting in with other children. It was hard watching the frustration on my son's face when children reject his friendship. Also, when he attempts to write his hand wouldn’t write what he knew his brain is telling him. I knew I needed answers and immediately so after searching for a reply, I learn I had to set goals and help my son develop an emotional plan.
I discover that Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can be described as a silent disorder because it can affect children, for years before it is diagnosed. I also realized I need a plan, something that would lift his self-esteem for him to want to learn the different things he needs to know. Also, this strategy would help him to grow into a healthy adult. I also had to face the reality that as a child grow and mature with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) if not deal with appropriately, they grow up to be an adult with a lack of focus ability. When adequately treated they learn how to avoid being the focus of attention at school, and as a result, their extreme embarrassment and pain they experience with other children can go unnoticed.
That’s the other thing: Even if you’re on medication, you still have to treat your body properly and take care of yourself. The idea that ADHD goes away or you grow out of it isn’t true.
Thanks to the Internet, I had access to a lot of necessary information, and still, it was hard for me to understand my son “attention issues." And there were times; I had moments where I felt I would like to hide away, avoid dealing with my son disability and put off all the stress that came with it and enjoy the quiet that follows the pressure. On the contrary, my love for him was one thing that made me strive to ensure my son wouldn’t give up on not only learning in school but doing his tasks around the house.
Experience firsthand how frustrating it was for him to complete a simple task when he was having trouble focusing I came to the reality we as parents are not magicians. Therefore, we cannot make the learning disability disappear. As a parent, it is our job to make sure the child gets the care they need and provide the tools necessary for them to realize how to live life as customary as possible. I know it can be hard work, and sometimes the child might even fall behind, but I am a witness that the actual commitment is worth it in the end.
ADHD is a neurological and behavioral disorder that affects not only the person with it, but the entire family, including parents and the extended family of parental siblings and grandparents. It tests the limits of the family’s ability to be supportive, understanding and loving.
Also, I found myself turning to different sites to learn the specifics of my child’s focus attention and disability. Plus, I tried out the other different tool to see how my son can improve his organizational skills, increase his grade in math, English, Reading, Writing, etc. There are various excellent sites with resources about the information I needed, but one particular one I feel would be a significant advantage to parents in need is https://www.helpguide.org/articles/learning-disabilities/learning-disabilities-and-disorders.htm.
Also, I kept different folders to write goals and plans for my son daily. I even color code them to plan for positive guidance and keep things running smoothly. I encourage parents who have a child with a learning disability to focus on the need of the child and not on what they have difficulty doing. That when I realize how much time would have to be put into loving and teaching the child to reach thrilling victories and not fall foolishly off course.
ADHD is real and valid. The sooner we recognize the patterns and learn to work with these kids, the better assured we will be that they as adults with be healthy members of society.
Rhonda Van Diest
Children with ADHD experience both bad and good moods throughout the day. Although they encounter these feelings, they still deserve and want to be loved. Plus I will never stop being the advocate for my son, even though somedays is a challenge, I consider the days to be more of a gift no matter how difficult they are. What makes each day a gift, even when some are bad is Knowing that I have the power to influence my child to see the world positively which will change his life for the better.
Moreover, everybody will not be supportive, and that can affect your child ability to learn, but you as their parents must make the extra effort to make learning fun for them. Even with “Attention issues" children know how to learn in more ways than we know how to teach them. To ensure the best chance of success for my child education, I had to begin homeschooling him. It was difficult for me to watch him return home from school each day depressed and sad all the time. He couldn't understand why he had a problem completing his school work and the other children in school didn't like him or wanted to be his friend. These issues took away from his ability to learn. Therefore, it’s up to the parent to teach their child how to deal with his or her learning disability. It was not an easy task, but I learn how to apply the necessary tools to my son everyday life to help him deal with his learning disability.
Although my son did not understand how to do his class or homework at first and it was tough to teach a child who was easily frustrated. However, I am proud to say after helping Him to learn although ADHD is a common disorder that affects focus, with hard work and determination, knowing how to treat the cause I am pleased to state my son can finally focus and learn to manage and minimize the symptoms. Also, He completed high school and graduated with high grades. He did it with no medication to control his behavior. I am so proud of him and happy to say He is preparing to go to college.
My son was determined to fight attention problems, and poor focus and I desired to assist him to overcome. After many tests and research, we found what was missing is the critical nutritional element in His diet, which throws His brain chemistry off balance. After learning this and correcting it not only can He focus but being Hyperactive dramatically improve, He was able to comprehend the plan we put in place to strengthen His grades and most of all He was able to organize and keep His room clean. Although my son fought with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), It no longer defines him.
Do you agree the impact of ADHD can be extensive, affecting children and adult?
ADHD Symptoms: The ADHD Song
Persons living with ADHD can be grouped into three categories!
Diagnosis and Management of ADHD in Children
Diagnostic Criteria for Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder
Evaluation of ADHD in Children and Adolescents
The diagnosis of ADHD should be considered in patients four years or older with poor attention, distractibility, hyperactivity, impulsiveness, poor academic performance, or behavioral problems at home or at school.
Often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, at work, or during other activities (e.g., overlooks or misses details, work is inaccurate).
Parent/caretaker report of symptoms for ADHD and other disorders (e.g., learning, mental health, sleep problems) in the home setting
More boys have ADHD overall; however, the inattentive subtype is more common in girls
Often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities (e.g., has difficulty remaining focused during lectures, conversations, or lengthy reading).
School or work performance: progress reports, absenteeism, grade retention, special education services, referrals for behavioral or legal problems
Although no evidence supports universal screening for ADHD at well visits, physicians should be attentive to patients' and guardians' concerns about academic performance and behavioral problems
Often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities (e.g., difficulty managing sequential tasks; difficulty keeping materials and belongings in order; messy, disorganized work; has poor time management; fails to meet deadlines)
School/community report of symptoms outside of the home
The ADHD Love Song
© 2018 Pam Morris