What to Do When Someone Close, Whom You Had Trusted, Caused the Most Hurt
So, you have been hurt by someone very close, someone you had trusted!
Consider yourself fortunate, if you have not faced such a situation in life. Of all the people, I know or interacted, they have faced such painful situations in life, when they have been hurt by their close ones.
- Do we care, if some passer by or a person, whom we know casually, says something unpleasant? No, we don't!
- But when a close one, a loved one, a trusted friend, a close relative or a family member causes hurt, it becomes unbearable. Isn’t it?
- When someone we care about, gets mad at us, by means of words or actions, it can shatter our mental peace and happiness.
- This becomes all the more pronounced, if the person is someone, with whom we are very close and intimate.
- And if you are slightly sensitive, by your nature or temperament, you can be affected so deeply, that you will be unable to function normally, and start thinking that life is burdensome.
- In personal and close relationships, the person who has caused hurt, may even refuse to communicate.
- This might leave you wondering, about what he or she may be thinking, feeling, planning, or doing.
- You may live with the feelings of fear, disappointment, and depression. You may reach to a point, where it becomes difficult to focus, on your day today life.
- In other words, your peace of mind may be lost.
How to deal with rude people, source: YouTube
How to forget and forgive, source: YouTube
5 Things to do, if you have been hurt by those, whom you had trusted:
If such a thing has happened to you, please understand, what you should or should not do.
1. Avoid anger:
Remember- the first thing is to avoid anger, and remain composed. Easier said than done, but you have to do it.
Only if you are okay at this moment, you can then begin to see, what your options are.
2. Try and avoid impulsive behaviour--Crying, shouting, answering back.
There is no use talking to an angry person. Reacting in the same way, as him/ her will be another big mistake, and would make the matters worse.
Any action like this, will be a wrong step, and the situation may be completely out of hand, and can never be repaired.
3. Try to communicate:
It does depend on the person, who is projecting his or her anger, on to you.
Try everything in your control, to communicate with this person, who behaved like this with you. You may ask, what made his/ her behaviour so upsetting, towards you.
That person may or may not respond, with a definite answer.
There may be something, you are totally unaware about or there can be long term issues, as well.
If those issues are discussed mutually, well and good. If not, you may have to find some other way, to solve this.
Apology is a healer.
Apology can take the bitterness away.
Once the anger settles down, the chances are, that the other person also may realise his/ her mistake, or unruly behaviour.
If an apology is called for from either party, please do not debate it.
Go ahead, and get it over.
All you have to do is, own it and say such words, so as to make the most of the bad feelings go away.
5. Third Party:
Sometimes the other person may not be willing to accept an apology, leave alone apologise himself/ herself. He/ she may prefer to stay in a bad mood, or an uncompromising mood, rather than resolving the issue.
In such a case, you might consider bringing in someone else, a third party, who is a common friend,or a close relative, to talk about it.
Forgive your enemies---Nothing irritates them more than this!
Has someone close caused deep hurt to you in life?
How to be move on in life, source: YouTube
When nothing seems to work--Just move on in life.
In spite of your best intentions and sincere efforts, when no resolution is available, what you can do:
- Rely on your own mind, and heart to lead you.
- If you know, you did nothing wrong, you should try to move on, and move ahead.
- If you did some mistake, that was not intentional, then you need to forgive yourself, and the other person, so that you can move on.
- If the other person, is not at all ready to talk, to communicate, to discuss or to resolve the issue, which has caused the hurt and unpleasantness, they usually are not the type of person, for whom you should bother much.
- You can’t find happiness, by holding onto a painful story of the past, by trying to place in new light into it. You can only find happiness, when you let it go and make room, for something better.
- It‘s a fact and it‘s true, that you were a victim, and someone hurt you badly, without your fault, due to the circumstances. But do not feel bad for yourself, blaming others. It will only hold you back.
- The only way to experience happiness is, to take responsibility, and create it, whether other people made it easy for you, or not.
- You are not responsible for what has happened in the past, but you are responsible for your behaviour now.
- Why let someone, who had hurt you in the past, rule or destroy your present?
“Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t “should’ve” done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!”
- – Steve Maraboli
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2016 Chitrangada Sharan