- Family and Parenting
What to do when Someone Close, Whom you trusted, Caused the Most Hurt !
So You Have Been Hurt By Someone Very Close, Someone You Trusted!
© Chitrangada Sharan Jan. 2016
All Rights Reserved.
- Consider yourself fortunate if you have not faced such a situation in life. Of all the people I know or interacted, they have faced such painful situations in life, when they have been hurt by close ones.
- Do we really care if some passer by or a person whom we know casually says something unpleasant!!
- We don't!
- But when a close one, a loved one, a trusted friend, a close relative or a family member causes hurt, it becomes unbearable.
- Isn't it?
- When someone we care about gets mad at us, by means of words or actions, it can shatter our mental peace and happiness.
- This becomes all the more pronounced if the person is someone with whom we are very close and intimate.
- And if you are slightly sensitive by Nature you can be affected so deeply that you will be unable to function normally and start thinking that life is burdensome.
- In personal and close relationships, the person who has caused hurt may even refuse to communicate.
- This might leave you wondering about what he or she may be thinking, feeling, planning or doing.
- You may live with feelings of fear, disappointment and depression. You may reach to a point where it becomes difficult to focus on your day today life..
- In other words your peace of mind may be lost.
What To Do If You Have Been Hurt By Those You Trusted!
If such a thing has happened to you, first of all please understand what you should or should not do:
Remember- the first thing is to avoid anger and remain composed. This is not to say that it is very easy to do but you have to do it.
Only if you are okay at this moment, you can then begin to see what your options are.
Try And Avoid Impulsive Behaviour--Crying, Shouting, Answering Back.
There is no use talking to an angry person. Reacting in the same way as him/ her will be another big mistake and would make the matters worse.
Any action like this will be a wrong step and the situation may be completely out of hand , never be repaired.
Try To Communicate:
It does depend on the person who is projecting his or her anger on to you.
Try everything in your control to communicate with this person who behaved like this with you. You may ask what it was that made his/ her behaviour so upsetting towards you.
That person may or may not respond with a definite answer.
There may be something you are totally unaware about or there can be long term issues.
If those issues are discussed mutually well and good otherwise you may have to find some other way to solve this.
Apology is a healer.
Apology can take the bitterness away.
Once the anger settles down, chances are that the other person also may realize his/ her mistake or unruly behaviour.
If an apology is called for from either party, please do not debate it.
Go ahead and get it over with.
All you have to do is own it and say the words to make most of the bad feelings go away.
Sometimes the other person may not be willing to accept an apology leave alone apologize himself/ herself. He/ she may prefer to stay in a bad mood or an uncompromising mood rather than resolving the issue.
In such a case you might consider bringing in someone else, a third party that is a common friend, a close relative to talk about it.
Forgive your enemies---Nothing irritates them more than this!
Has someone close caused deep hurt to you in life?
When Nothing Works Out ---Just Move On In Life!
In spite of your best intentions and sincere efforts, When no resolution is available, what you can do:
- Rely on your own mind and heart to lead you.
- If you know you did nothing wrong you should try to move on and move ahead.
- If you did some mistake that was not intentional, then you need to forgive yourself and the other person, so that you can move on.
- If the other person is not at all ready to talk, to communicate, to discuss or to resolve the issue which has caused hurt and unpleasantness, they usually are not the type of person for whom you should bother much.
- You can’t find happiness by holding onto a painful story of the past by trying to place in new light into it.. You can only find happiness when you let it go and make room for something better.
- It is a fact and it is true that you were a victim and someone hurt you badly without your fault due to circumstances. But do not feel bad for yourself, blaming others. It will only hold you back.
- The only way to experience happiness is to take responsibility and create it, whether other people made it easy for you or not.
- You are not responsible for what happened in the past but you are responsible for your behaviour now.
- Why let someone who hurt you in the past rule or destroy your present?
© Chitrangada Sharan 21st Jan. 2016
All Rights Reserved.
“Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t “should’ve” done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!”
- – Steve Maraboli
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© 2016 Chitrangada Sharan