What Women Need Most and Men Really Want
Men really are seeking ways to make women happy and are just as
interested as women in improved relation ships. The problem is that
their traditional ways of doing so aren’t getting through to the women.
In hunter/gatherer days, this arrangement worked out fine.
It worked well enough even for our fathers. For us, however, it doesn’t work at all. Today’s wives do not leave husband s because they’re not being provided for. They leave because they are emotionally and romantically unfulfilled. When a man does not understand a woman’s new needs, it is inevitable that she will be unfulfilled. This increased dissatisfaction is also what turns men off. Husband do not leave wives because they no longer love them, they leave because they can’t make them happy. Generally speaking, a man gives up on a relationship when they feels powerless to succeed in fulfilling his partner.
By understanding how to circumstances have changed for both sexes, we can gain the insight and compassion necessary to master new approaches to mutually supportive relationships.
Why Modern Women Are Unhappy
Modern women are overworked, overstressed, and commonly feel unsupported and overwhelmed with good reason at no other time in history has so much expected of them .at least five days a week, they put on a uniform and march into an eight – to twelve-hour battle. When they come home, they feel need to clean house, make dinner, do laundry, love and nurture the kids, and also be pleasing and happy as well as romantically receptive to their mates. It’s just too much to ask of themselves and its making them feel split inside.
At work, women are required to behave according to the traditional masculine rules of conduct. At home, they have to switch to being warm, living
and feminine. It’s no wonder women complains that they need a wife to greet them with love and tenderness at the end of the day.
Even a contemporary stay-home mother has a more difficult job then her own mother did because, with most other mother at work and her kid’s playmates at daycare, she lacks the traditional company and support of other women.
In the past a woman was proud to say that she was a fulltime wife and mother. Now she may even feel embarrassed when asked, ‘What do you do?’ isolated from the support of other women, she must go it alone, as the value of her commitment is largely unacknowledged by the world.
Still, while women now need more support than at any other time in history, men also miss the ego boost they traditionally received from their mates.
Why Men Are Dissatisfied
Modern men feel underpaid, defeated, and unappreciated. Like women they are experiencing the toll that a two- career marriage takes.
Years ago, when a man returned to a stay-home wife she could easily show him how much she appreciated his efforts and sacrifices. Happy to care for him because she wasn’t stressed out, she asked relatively little in return. Now, abruptly,
The home as a male comfort base is under siege.
Many men work just as hard as their forefathers, perhaps even harder, but still can’t manage to be their family’s sole support. Deprived of the strong sense of self that being a sole provider would bring him, on a deep emotional (and sometimes unconscious) level he easily feels defeated when his partner seems unhappy or unfulfilled.
When a man loves a woman, his primary goal is to make her happy. Through history, men have endured the competitive and hostile world of work because, at the end of the day, their struggles and efforts were justified by a woman’s appreciation.
In a very real sense, his mate’s fulfillment was the reward that made a man’s labor worthwhile.
Today, because women are overworked, they often and understandably feel unfulfilled. Now, at a long day’s end, both she and her mates are looking for love and appreciation. When a modern man returns home he generally faces defeated instead of victory. His partner’s unhappiness signals that he is a failure.
I want to pay my especial gratitude to mine sweet friend, who helped me in this artical