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Part 3: Alcoholism "Have you been Effected"?

Updated on February 27, 2010
The Twelve Steps: A Spiritual Journey (Tools for Recovery)
The Twelve Steps: A Spiritual Journey (Tools for Recovery)

This book was my saving grace! It can be yours too!


Secrets in a Family

Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It also progress's into the family of the alcoholic with fierce reprocussions. Alcohol becomes a problem when one begins drinking alcoholic beverages at a level that interferes with physical health, mental health and social, family, job responsibilities. It slows motor skills and decreases the ability to think clearly. It impairs judgement.

Psycoholigical Factors

A Need for Anxiety relief

Conflict in Relationships


Low Self Esteem

Alcoholism is an illness that consumes the intire family because the feelings, thoughts and actions of everyone in the family are effected by the alcoholics drinking. An alcoholic family experiances co-dependency with oppressive rules, repressed emotions, an unhealthy pattern of relating, a lack of intimacy in relationships or an inviroment that can be controlling or one with undue anxiety, depression or fear.

Alcoholics often give reasons or excuses for continuing to drink and blame others for their drinking. Alcoholic behavior is unpredictable. As alcoholics drink more and more, they neglect family responsibilities. Others should not take blame for the alcoholics behavior and should remember that they are not the cause or reason for the drinking and behaviors that go along with it.

Enabling or covering for the alcoholic takes the responsibility from the drinker and he or she does not have to experiance the negative consequences of the drinking. One should never take over the responsibilites for the person or drink with them. Enabling is not helping, it is doing something for someone that they could, and should be doing for themselves. As a family disease, the family becomes disfunctional.

Each member of the family seems to evolve into a survival role that unintentionally helps maintain the disfunction. This is why it is referred to as a family disease therefore treatment should include the intire family. Just as alcoholism follows a predictable, progressive course with the alcoholic, it does so with the family also.

The following chart will show the progression of alcoholism in the family

Burial of feelings and problems

Vague and unclear communication


Chain reaction effect

Unresolved Conflict

Deterioration of relationships

Emotional inconsistancy

Pretending and Distortion of Reality

Unrealistic Goals

Excusing irresponsible behavior


Abrupt shift in role responsibility

Walking on egg shells

Crisis to Crisis to Crisis

Recovery is about healing, about learning new ways of relating, about changing old habits, about setting limits and practicing "Tough Love". Remember that depending is not just the alcoholics problem. If there is an alcoholic in the family, the whole family needs help. Families may need therepy and support through programs like Al-Anon. Families need support and guidance from people who understand the problem.

Try to be patient and supportive and remember that recovery is a process. And also remember...You are not alone! There are a lot of families suffering from this disease. There is help and there is HOPE !!



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    • Jay Louidor profile image

      Jay Louidor 

      8 years ago from FL

      This hub makes me think to myself, where's the line of too much to drink? And once I think about it I guess there's no real answer. Since it goes back to body weight anyway. Someone can have 4 drinks and be fine while another has two and isn't. At the end of the day, if you find yourself looking to a bottle to solve your problems. That's when you should consider the chance of it being a problem. Once again, great hub... very informative.

    • TimeHealsAll profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Thank you Susanlang! If my storys can hit home with someone and give some healing through the imformation I'm providing that would be awesome! Love ya too my friend!

    • TimeHealsAll profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Thank you Gigi2, alcoholism will destroy everything and everyone in it's path. It can change someone into a monster. They are no longer recognisable. They become complete strangers. Alcohol has taken over. Blessings!

    • TimeHealsAll profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Thank you billyaustindillon, more definatly needs to be recognized with this disease. So much abuse goes unnoticed. Blessings!

    • TimeHealsAll profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Thank you restoremyheart, alcoholism strikes everyone in the family. It shows no mercy. The worry, hurt, depression and fear is devastating. Blessings!

    • susanlang profile image


      8 years ago

      Timeheals, you did it again! If you continue to drive the ball out of the park, where will we find more balls? Well said my friend. Keep writing because I'm reading! Love Ya Sister.

    • Gigi2 profile image


      8 years ago from UK

      Thank you for such an insightful hub. I lost my first husband, home and life when his drinking took over. Fortunately I am happily remarried. My ex has kind of got his life together and we remain friends.He is not a bad man, but drinking makes a person act bad.

    • billyaustindillon profile image


      8 years ago

      Excellent hub - there is a societal problem with pronounced affects that is often left untouched by politicians and community leaders alike.

    • restoremyheart profile image


      8 years ago

      Yes it is hard to have a loved one with this problem. Your right it does take time to heal. Learning to make positive changes, and like you said not to ignore it, because it does affect those who are around. Great Hub!

    • TimeHealsAll profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Thank you thefount! The imformation you have provided here may be very resourceful! A disease is not easily overcome just like any disease. It takes good resources and support and plenty of patience. There is so many more resources today than there was years ago. Thank you for this information! Be Blessed!

    • thefount profile image


      8 years ago from North Central Louisiana

      Thanks for a wonderful hub! There's another side to this that you might be interested in; something I just learned as a clinical nutrition researcher within the past couple of months. Alcohol is a mycotoxin: a fungal poison that wreaks havoc throughout the body.

      Once fungus sets up residence in our bodies as a parasite through the air we breathe, certain foods we consume (including alcohol i.e. brewer's yeast) and especially through antiibiotics which are created from fungus - it causes it's human host (US) to crave it's favorite food: sugar and foods/beverages that quickly convert to sugar like breads, pastas, starchy vegetables (rice, potatoes, corn, etc.) and even more alcohol.

      When alcoholics say they can't help themselves, they literally mean just that. This is not to make an excuse for them, but just to let you know that fungus is the dominant partner in the human-fungal relationship whether the human host is aware of this fact or not.

      This is a major factor to consider when trying to beat alcoholism, as certain anti-fungal regiments like an Atkin's style diet (high protein - low/no carbohydrate) is used to starve fungus, and certain natural anti-fungal supplements like olive leaf extract, cinnamon capsules, oregano oil, etc. (the list goes on) and even anti-fungal prescription meds like Nystatin and Diflucan are used to kill the invading fungus. Vitamins, minerals, herbs and amino acids are all anti-fungal and have proven to be very useful to help alcoholics overcome their addiction.

      I pray this information helps you and your readers. Be Blessed!

    • TimeHealsAll profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Thank you creativeone59, I am trying to put as much imformation out there as possible to let those who have lived with or are living with this disease. They must know there is hope and helpful resources. Thank you for stopping by sister and many blessings!

    • creativeone59 profile image

      benny Faye Douglass 

      8 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Thank you TimeHealsAll, for a very useful and informative hub.

      Thank you for sharing. Godspeed. creativeone59

    • TimeHealsAll profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Thank you no body! It's wonderful that you had something meaningful in your younger years. Someone to guide you and make you feel you were special. Something is always better than nothing. I love you too brother! Very much!!

    • TimeHealsAll profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Thank you so much RevLady! Thank God your brother was found. It was too late for my brother. We couldn't find him until we were notified he was killed head on by a hertz rental truck along with two other adults and a small baby who offered him a ride in the back of a small pickup truck. He was 54. He wasn't drinking that morning. Blessings to you sister for your heart of compassion!

    • no body profile image

      Robert E Smith 

      8 years ago from Rochester, New York

      Drink was never my temptation either. But the men in my dad's family were prone to it. My grandpa used to make grabs at my mother's butt when she walked by I remember when I was just a little boy, so she avoided him like the plague. He died early and alcoholism is part of the reason. His liver and his heart gave out (cigarettes). As I got older I grew to love my grandpa because he needed something so much. I just loved him even though I knew that he would eventually die of the things he was doing to himself. I guess I cared for him because he was the only person I knew that wanted to impart useful knowledge to me. He told me about John 3:16 and how it changed his life for a time. I think as he saw his end drawing near he started to cling to the Lord more but life's decisions have consequences. I love you my sister very much.

    • RevLady profile image


      8 years ago from Lantana, Florida

      TimeHealsAll, a touching hub dear sister of mine.

      I had a brother caught in alcoholism's grip until he was found by our Lord with the gentle urging and support of his family. I am sensitive to those struggling with alcoholism and encourage healing hope whenever I am afforded the opportunity to ministering to them.

      Forever His,

    • TimeHealsAll profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Thank you Quill! Your absolutly right! I think alcohol needs to be a controlled substance. It is and has destroyed many lives in many ways. The goverment needs to look at this more seriously! Blessings to you my friend!

    • TimeHealsAll profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Thank you Judahs Daughter! Unfortunatly I lived in it for 18 years. During those 18 years and beyond I have carried this compulsion to care for the needy and unfortunate in the family. Not that that is a bad thing but in my case it has gotten to the point where it has become overwelming and stressful because it has been my major focus all my life beginning with the parents trying to save their lives. Not a good thing for a child to have to indure. Thank you for stopping by and many blessings to you as well!

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Thanks TimeHealsAll for an in depth look at a serious problem that exists all around us. I have suffered directly with the cause and effect of the illness. There is hope and like many I have found my way out of its grip

      I stand as an advocate against the Government for not looking at the problem, all governments are gaining through taxes and yet doing little to stop the effects of the products they endorse.

      Education is key to the youth today, glossy TV ads are a sad statement for the end results.


    • Judah's Daughter profile image

      Judah's Daughter 

      8 years ago from Roseville, CA

      This is a fabulous hub! Even though I don't drink, I was affected by alcoholic parents during my formative years (ages 2-5) and therefore 'learned' to take responsibility for others and have a need to control my surroundings in order to feel 'safe'.

      This spills over into every area of life. I'm thinking of how it affects the workplace, too. Working with alcoholics brings the same dysfunction into the workplace. People don't take responsibility for their actions; they force the 'co-dependents' to step up to the plate and carry their load or FIX their issues. It's hard to say, 'NO' because the healthy one may lose his/her job!

      The percentage of people who drink in this Country, let alone all over the world is phenomenal! It's a global sickness. We must stay healthy at all costs. For me, I'll keep changing jobs before I submit to extreme alcoholic dysfunction. God is with us when we are His. Amen.


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