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What is nuturing parenting? The Approach
Wild Animal trainers LOL!!
Nurturing parenting! I think it has a nice ring to it. I know what your thinking. Oh lord another person telling me how to control my monsters lol. I am not going to tell you how to parent completely, because I have not figured it all out myself. I do have a lot to bring to the table though, because of raising my 5 kids. I learn from trial and error 99% of the time. As you all know anyone and everyone who has had a child thinks they are an expert in parenting. I definatley don't have all the answers, but its always nice to have some new ideas to try when you are at Witt's end. I have been there many many times!! The best analogy I have ever heard for raising kids is they are not little adults!!! They are wild animals and you are the wild animal trainer!!! :) I took that as do whatever you can to survive lol.
Everyone has a parenting approach, weather you are aware or not. Weather your approach is consistent is a whole other matter. A hit and miss approach is still even an approach. I am pretty sure I my self fell into all the categories. another approach is an inconsistent,stressed-out, to your wit's end approach. They say you fall in to one of six approaches, and all of us parents can been classified into one of the following groups( I Personally think I fall into every group lol almost)
The "My way or the highway" Approach- no nonsense, to the point. do what your told to do, when your told to do it! This was the way I was raised, and i think there are some things in parenting that are just not up for negotiation period.
The " One day you will thank Me" Approach- Yep i use this one to lol. Its the modified my way or the highway approach. I'm doing this for your own good kind of thing.
The "Hug them and cuddle them" approach- I have tried this but they ended up walking all over me. It's definatley good to hug, cuddle and love your children, but not to an extreme. They still need discipline and guidelines to go by. Hug them and cuddle them does not mean permissiveness, or lack of defined discipline.
The "Good Book" approach- Spare the rod spoil the child. This one is not so much me. I believe in discipline and my kids have been spanked from time to time but not very often I hate spanking them, but that is just me.
The "OK" approach- We are going to go to grandma's now. OK? we don't throw darts at the kitty. OK? This one is like you ask your kids for compliance or good behavior. I don't know about your house, but that isn't happening in mine lol.
The "nurturing Parenting" approach- This is the I have newly adopted lol and it really seems to work. Along with 1-2-3-magic technique. There is discipline in this, as well as loving and caring. It is founded on seven principles...
Feelings of attachment-when children feel loved unconditionally, communication,trust, and respect naturally follow. Setting routines, holding regular family meetings, all help in understanding,and respect for children of all ages.
Empathy- ability to put your place in place of the children to understand their feelings,emotions and motives.
Nurturing oneself- MOM'S HERE IS YOUR FREE TICKET:) Taking time for yourself, and making sure your needs are met, helps you to meet the needs of your children. If you don't get your needs met you will feel burned-out, and resentful,stressed, and just plain fed up! So find stuff you like to do and enjoy. It really has helped me:)
Gentle touch- this one I don't do lol, my kids are to big for a massage lol. There are other ways to demonstrate gentle touch but to me it's a little weird, but then again I have not researched it.
Discipline-Setting limits, family rules, right and wrong, morals and values, respect, are all parts of discipline.
Expressing feeling- teaching appropriate ways to express their feelings. all feelings are good to express including anger,and sadness.
Expectations and self worth- Knowing what to expect of your children will help them have a positive self-worth. This just means ask your kids to do things that you know they can do, so they can Feel proud of themselves.
This is just one step of things that I have tried so far. I will write tons more as I learn more or find what has worked for our family.