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What to do when you are pregnant and your boyfriend abandoned you

Updated on September 20, 2011

How to be strong if you are pregnant and your lover or boyfriend abandoned or left you?

Having a baby will indeed stir a range of emotions for soon to be mothers. For the majority of mothers, a feeling of immense joy and excitement is inevitable. But unfortunately it is the exact opposite for expectant mothers who are anticipated to conceive and raise their baby on their own. Learning that they have a baby on their womb will bring about a feeling of animosity, fear and even dread, since they will rear the children at their own expense.

Hiding will be the natural defense mechanism for many to shrug off shame and feeling of guilt. But life must go on and like a thunderous raging river you should flow until you reach your destination, with enormous determination and persistence. Moving on will be an uphill battle since it will take a lot of guts and grits to pull through.

Force yourself to be strong, efficient and be mature. Keep in mind that you are responsible for the existence of your baby so do your best to raise him well to the best of your capabilities. You will never know what future awaits you and your child. If your hopes were dashed because of fate, your kid might rekindle the old fire on your bosom of achieving the goals that you failed to accomplish by letting him make strings of successes of his own. What triumphs your kid will muster in the future will also be your triumphs.

Find a job and be the best nurturer and provider you can be and see each day as a challenge to you of becoming a responsible and dependable mother and father at the same time.

Don’t feel guilty about having your kids raised in a broken family since everything happens for a reason.

Here are some tips and pointers to help your kid cope up with growing up without a father:

  • You are free to be engulfed with self-pity, but bear in mind to do this for a shorter period of time. This will help you release the pain inside you. If you do this "only" for a longer time, you might fall prey to depression and it will be difficult for you to move on.
  • After few months of torment, get out of your shell and get rid of your worries and anxieties. Be strong and calm, since at the end, your child and the things that will come along your life is what will matter the most.
  • Explain to your child the situation if you are already ripe for it. The green light to do this is when you already moved on, accepted the reality, embraced the situation, and you are at ease and comfortable with it. Otherwise, it will be harder to explain things to your child when you are not yet ready. If you are okay, your child will feel the same too and he will surely fathom all the things he needs to know.
  • Help your kid to cope. Bear in mind to be honest at all times and don’t ever underestimate your child. The most essential thing to do is not to make your kid feel that he is left out in the colds or lacking in anything. Shower him with tender loving care and make him feel loved and secured.

Move on, there’s more to life than what you expected. You win some and lose some, things balances out in the end. Have faith in yourself and take good care of your new bundle of joy. Besides being a single parent also have its own share of moments of great joys and triumphs. Be strong and pull through...


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    • emilgen2011 profile image

      Gener and Emily Geminiano 5 years ago from The Land Where Salt is Abundant

      Thanks a lot my friend kerlyn...

    • kerlynb profile image

      kerlynb 6 years ago from Philippines, Southeast Asia, Earth ^_^

      "The most essential thing to do is not to make your kid feel that he is left out in the colds or lacking in anything. Shower him with tender loving care and make him feel loved and secured." - I definitely agree. Kids have to feel that they are complete and well-loved even if their fathers have left. They should know that life isn't perfect but when there are so many people who love them, then life is almost perfect :D

    • emilgen2011 profile image

      Gener and Emily Geminiano 6 years ago from The Land Where Salt is Abundant

      Thanks a lot for the read lavender... I appreciate your kind words and finding time to drop by!

    • profile image

      lavender3957 6 years ago

      This is a very good hub. It does happen and leaves alot of young girls helpless of what to do. This hub will encourage those who need to know this information.