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When A Child Shares A Secret

Updated on January 15, 2014
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As children approach preschool age they are fascinated by the practice of telling secrets. They watch as you whisper to someone an important message and observe reactions to the sharing of a secret. They want to be in on the special bonding that goes along with telling secrets.

The first time you whisper a secret in their ear they get so excited over the fact that you are sharing with them something really important. They feel special. It also causes them to want to share it with someone else. Keeping a secret at this age is very hard. It is like trying to keep water from flowing.

Secrets can be good or bad. This is where adults need to help children learn the difference between sharing a harmless fact and talking about others. Good secrets have a time limit and usually are fun to share, such as a surprise party for mommy or daddy. Bad secrets are those that may cause someone harm, including themselves.

Can I Tell You Something?

When a child has experienced something fearful they may store it in their mind. Parents may not see the affects it has on a child until the secret grows into a scary monster. At which point, the child may explode with emotion and tears.

I remember a friend of mine's experience with her granddaughter. They were driving in traffic when her grandchild, asked her if she could tell her a secret. Of course, grandma recognized the tone of voice and reassured her that she was listening.

Her grandchild proceeded to tell her that she was very upset about a choice she made earlier that day. She, along with her little brother, and mother visited the ice cream shop where not only did they sell sweets but small toys and gifts. She spied a small stuffed bear that she she wanted and asked her mom if she could buy it. Her mother gave her a choice of either buying the bear or the ice cream because they could not afford both items. At the time, the child decided the bear was a better purchase.

Later as they were sitting outside at a table, she watched her mother and little brother enjoying their cones and realized she had made a mistake. She asked her mother if she could have a cone, but mama, needing to remain firm, said no. This caused a great amount of grief for the little girl.

As she shared the story with grandma, she burst into tears and sobbed while explaining that she wished she could tell her mommy how this made her feel. Of course, grandma being alert to the child's feelings yet wanting to help her learn from the experience, encouraged her to share her feelings with mother when they returned home. She consoled the child over the emotional distress of making a wrong choice, and helped her realize that next time she should consider the consequences. (All handled in age appropriate conversation and with lots of love.)

How To Respond To A Secret

Adult Reaction
Child's Response to Reaction
Do not react with fear
Child will cease to share and internalize greater fear if you do
Keep your tone natural
Child will relax and feel unthreatened.
Do not probe
Child will share willingly what he feels to be important
Listen
Child will appreciate your full attention.
Let them know if it needs to be shared
Child may be resistant, make sure you tell them why
Let them know you care
Child will feel valued, loved and respected
Assure them that they will not get in trouble for sharing
Child will trust your relationship
Using a child's toys during play helps them understand how secrets are shared.
Using a child's toys during play helps them understand how secrets are shared. | Source

Using Games Helps Children Learn "Secrets"

As parents well know, children love playing games. Often activity can be used to teach important skills such as telling secrets. I have used many such activities with preschool children and the fun they have while perfecting the ability is priceless.

  • Puppets can be used to help tell stories about a special secret. As they interact with the puppet it will help them learn this important talent. Make sure they get to whisper secrets back and forth during the play session.
  • Role playing is also another good way to help a child learn the art of sharing good and bad secrets. You can act out small skits with them and pretend to share the different types of good and bad news. Have them help you write the skit and make sure you include both good and bad types of "secret" problems.
  • There are many books and videos that will help to discuss the skill as well. A new book, I Have A Secret. Do I Keep It? by Thornton, is a basic book well written and illustrated that helps to define what a secret is in terms a child can understand.

As your child learns that good secrets make you feel happy and bad ones cause you to feel sad, they will find solace in being able to share with a trusting person in both situations. As a child grows they will learn the level of secrecy deepens and establishing this early foundation will ensure that they will know when to confide in an adult.

Have you any suggestions or insight to add to the article? Please leave a comment below so that others can learn from your experience.

Do You Want To Know A Secret?

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    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      Nell, wow! I did not see this notification on your comment. I am starting to think that there are elves at work on causing havoc! I appreciate your visit and comment. It is so difficult for children to express themselves and giving them prompts opens the door to sharing.

      JPSO, you are right on this thought: parents have to use caution when questioning a child to share secrets. Glad you found this interesting and thank you for your add to the content. Enjoy your week and stay safe.

    • JPSO138 profile image

      JPSO138 4 years ago from Cebu, Philippines, International

      This is something that every parent must be able to read. I am a parent myself and that is why I could see the importance of this. Dealing with a child when it comes to secret things really does require a special way.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Amazing information teaches, and so helpful. I know how difficult it is for a child to share secrets, and your methods are spot on. Wonderful, voted and shared, nell

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      I am laughing here, Leah, what a cute kid! Give him a hug for me will you? Love it! Keep the door open for them to share their heart's secrets, it will help them to learn communication is key and helps in overcoming problems.

    • leahlefler profile image

      Leah Lefler 4 years ago from Western New York

      With Christmas arriving soon, I took my two little boys shopping for their daddy's Christmas gift. They knew the gift was supposed to be a surprise (a remote controlled helicopter). Nolan, my five year old, cracked me up. He went to Dennis (my husband) and said, "Daddy, we bought you a Christmas present. I can't tell you what it is. I'll tell you what - it is NOT a helicopter!" It was the cutest and funniest thing - he thought he was guaranteeing that Dennis wouldn't know what the gift was, when he was really giving it away.

      I love your point about good secrets vs. bad secrets. I really want my children to feel open and be able to discuss things with us - especially for those things that weigh heavily on their hearts.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Thanks, Vinaya, for sharing this hub. I appreciate your support on the topics, in spite of your current status. I imagine that you do know quite a lot about raising children, even so.

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

      Though not a parent, I find your parenting hubs useful and informative. I'm sharing this with my friends who find difficult to parent their child.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Diane, no- thank you for reminding me about positivity in our lives! I need to keep that upfront right now.

    • Diane Woodson profile image

      Diane Minton 5 years ago from Evansville, Indiana

      Wile I was doing the work with them, it never really came to me as a big issue, it was something we just did, I do think with the programs we have all that can be done is done for these kids. Thanks for your super comment,I am positive and hope to have an affect on the lives of young children again, but for the future right now, I am loving writing and all of the inspiration and joy it gives. Have a beautiful day Teaches12345...Thanks for the keep positive, I grew up with it from my Dad and MOM and am thankful each day for the good things in life...even though we have great challenges, the positives are always there...glad you brought that out!!! Take care.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Kikalina, I am sure those little ones have shared some really fun secrets. Enjoy them and your day!

      Diane, I have also worked with children with special needs and from dysfunctional homes. Their stories are so heartbreaking. it is good that they have adults, such as you were, to give them some attention and fill gaps in their lives. Keep positive!

    • Diane Woodson profile image

      Diane Minton 5 years ago from Evansville, Indiana

      This Hub reminds me of the HeadStarters I taught and how they had a close circle of friends at times. There were all sorts of abuses in the homes they came from, Grandparents caring for them, elderly, and the children being affected so much by the circumstances they found themselves in. I remember one Autistic child who had so much trouble with relating to other classmates because of his home setting. We never know what is going on inside the impressionable mind of a presious child. Their secrets are many, pain innumberable.

    • kikalina profile image

      kikalina 5 years ago from Europe

      As a mum of 2 very young children I loved reading this!

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Jainimus, I appreciate your votes, sharing and comments. Glad you found it interesting. Be well and safe.

    • jainismus profile image

      Mahaveer Sanglikar 5 years ago from Pune, India

      Great Hub, very useful for parents. Voted up and shared with followers.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Thank you for the kind compliment, Carly. Starting early to build trust with your child in this way will help as they grow. I appreciate your contribution to the topic. Have a great Friday!

    • CarlySullens profile image

      CarlySullens 5 years ago from St. Louis, Missouri

      You did a really good job articulating this subject about 'secrets' and kids. Especially offering advise on how adults might want to respond in kid friendly and developmentally appropriate ways.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      I have also known people to take advantage of such a situation to cause strife. Yes, my friend is quite a wise mentor to her grandchildren. Thank you for your contribution to the hub, Jackie. Have a great weekend, my friend.

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 5 years ago from The Beautiful South

      I loved the story of the little girl because even though I believe this little girl was genuine I have seen many become pro at this to get all of what they want while others around have to make a choice. I am proud of Grandma for seeing the right choice.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Ruchira, you have given me some valuable feedback on the topic. I am so glad that it has made a difference to people. It is good to hear how your won is confiding in you and that he values your opinion. Keep up the good job! Take care and have a great evening.

    • Ruchira profile image

      Ruchira 5 years ago from United States

      awesome advice, teaches12345. Now, I know why you kept such an interesting profile name for yourself.

      You always help me take something home. My kid is at that age when he is confiding in me about stuff but, I don't share it with my hubby 'cause that's our secret and I try to tackle that secret in my own way...However, I do realize that sometimes, my tone is kinda surprising when I hear weird things from him..gotta tone it down.

      thanks teaches12345. voted up as interesting. sharing it across

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Jools99, it is such a blessing when you have the support of a grandparent in guiding your children. Looks like you have that advantage in your family. Thanks for your vote and for stopping by to visit. So glad you did.

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      What a great hub; I can remember my daughter sidling up beside me to tell me secrets (I miss that!)and I work in a school and the little ones do love to tell you things. The ice-cream story is very touching; I think grandparents are very good at acting as sounding boards for children; my mother and daughter still have a strong relationship.

      Voted up, etc

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Hello Kingmaxler, I so appreciate your comments and support of the hub topics. It means much to me to have your opinions and support. Children are sweet treasures that need to be protected and guided by those who love them. Have a great day.

    • kingmaxler profile image

      kingmaxler 5 years ago from Olympia, Washington USA

      Well done. Excellent hub! Children are so important to me and to read something that hits the nail on the head is exciting. I am passing this on and on. I believe kids need advocates like you. Thank you for understanding them and for giving us tools to guide them. voting up, up, up.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Thank you, angela, for your contribution to the topic. Children will trust you if you gently guide them on this skill. Have a good week.

    • angela_michelle profile image

      Angela Michelle Schultz 5 years ago from United States

      The table you included was so incredibly important. I think we need to be very careful how we handle when our children confide in us. We want them to feel comfortable, and willing to speak to us. You gave some really great advice.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Hello Peggy. You always add on such insightful comments to hubs and I so appreciate your thoughts on this one. Getting them to trust is a big step in sharing. We must also respect that trust from a little one. Have a marvelous day, my dear friend. Blessings.

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 5 years ago from Houston, Texas

      Often puppets and even anatomically correct dolls are played with in counseling sessions with young children who have been abused. It is less threatening to the child. Developing trust is the main key when it comes to good parenting or even counseling sessions. Secrets can be both good and bad depending upon the subject matter and how they are used or kept. Interesting topic for a hub and very valuable. You did a great job! Voted useful and will SHARE.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      YOu are encouraging to me, Diane. I appreciate your thoughts and visit to the hub. I agree that sometimes our writing ideas come out of the blue and during the wee hours of the morning, even through dreams. I already know that you have talent when it comes to writing. Thanks for your faithful follow. Have a great weekend.

      Sturgeoni, puppets are a great way to help others in a non-threatening way. Children respond to them so well and it's amazing how adults will actually converse with them after a few minutes (with the puppets). Guiding children between good and bad secrets is important and helps them socially. Great add to the hub topic and you are always a welcome sight on any hub.

    • Sturgeonl profile image

      Sturgeonl 5 years ago

      Puppets are a wonderful suggestion for helping children share their secrets and feelings. Telling secrets is an exciting form of communication for children, but like you mentioned, it is important to show them how it can also hurt the feelings of others if they feel left out. Wonderful topic and very useful and insightful. Voted up!

    • Diane Woodson profile image

      Diane Minton 5 years ago from Evansville, Indiana

      I love the way you Incorporated the things to do and not to do when a child is about to fess up to a secret that you know may be more than distressing to him, and to you. I am going to try and read all of your Hubs before my favorite show Blue Bloods comes on in about an hour and 20 minutes. I wrote a new Hub last night around 1 am, I am taking care of things here at home this weekend, so I just don't know what happened but something got me one a Cloud thing and I had thought a little on it a few days ago when we were traveling. Funny how Hubs come to us at late hours, huh? Anyway thanks for reading this and I will be reading your Hubs. You are very knowledgeable! This Hub will surely hit 100 soon with the quality you have displayed here.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      You point out a great fact in that some people use secrets to manipulate children. It is sad. This is why I encourage parents to teach them early these skills so that they will not be abused in any way. Thanks for your wisdom on this hub, Hyphenbird. Be safe and well.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      I appreciate your opinions and visits, Movie Master (did mention that I like your new profile pic?) Glad you came over to visit and that you found it interesting. Thanks for the votes of support. Take care.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Michememe, my sister recently shared a secret with me that she was holding for over 40 years just a couple of months ago. She didn't know who to trust with her secret and it hurt to even think about the situation. I am so glad to hear that you are on top of it already with your daughter. Good job! Be well and safe, my friend.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Yes, I think they both handled the situation well. Both women are early ed teachers, so that also helps when raising children. Thanks for your visit, votes and support, Alocsin. Have a great weekend.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Thank you, Rosemay, for your kind comments and support. In the days we live in, trust is something children need more than anything in a relationship. I am so glad to have you come by and to find the hub interesting. You be safe out there.

    • Hyphenbird profile image

      Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

      This is a wonderful and relevant Hub. Children love secrets although it is difficult for them to keep one for long. Sadly, evil people use secrets to manipulate children. But the sweet ones are so priceless and offer an unforgettable teaching opportunity. Thanks for your tips.

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

      Another useful and helpful hub teaches, you write about such important and interesting topics and know your subject so well, thank you and voted up.

    • michememe profile image

      Miche Wro 5 years ago

      This is a great hub. Secrets are scary as I held one for a long time, and didn't reveal it until I was 25. I share with my daughter the difference is good secrets and bad ones.

    • alocsin profile image

      alocsin 5 years ago from Orange County, CA

      This is a great hub about secrets but I liked the illustrating story about the little girl and the bear. I think the grandma and mom handled the little girl's distress quite nicely and help her learn a life lesson. Voting this Up and Useful.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      I do believe with you on the trust statements. Building trust comes from the practice of listening and caring over time. Thanks for your wisdom on the topic, Rosemary. I am so glad you stopped by. Take care.

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      This is an excellent hub on an important topic teaches. Wonderful advice and tips for both parents and grandparents. The chart for parents reactions is a valuabnle part. Trust is an important issue with children of any age.

      You are very knowledgeable when it comes to children and many would benefit from your advice.

      Voting up

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Thanks for the feedback, Krystal. It always help to know if a hub offers what you intended. I too love the video, the show does a great job of teaching children great lessons on character. Your visit was a refreshing and thank you for the support. Have a great Friday!

    • KrystalD profile image

      KrystalD 5 years ago from Los Angeles

      This is really great teaches! The topic is interesting and very true. Children certainly have to learn about things such as secrets and explore when it is innocent and fuun and when it had more troubling implications. I just love the way you broke this topic down with examples and you video (I just love Author ad D.W.!)

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Chaplin, I agree that the test question was inappropriate. One can only guess why it was allowed. I imagine the children felt betrayed in some way. Thanks for your visit and support of the topic. Glad you stopped by to bring awareness to this issue. Take care, my friend.

    • ChaplinSpeaks profile image

      Sarah Johnson 5 years ago from Charleston, South Carolina

      Hi, teaches12345. What a neat hub! I like your discussion about good and bad secrets, and you really make the reader think.

      Recently, there was something in the national news about a standardized field test question for 3rd graders - what is your biggest secret and why? The question was severely criticized and I agree it was inappropriate, especially after reading your hub just now. Thanks for sharing.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Ripplemaker, there's always a lesson to learn in parenting. I am still learning myself. Thanks for visiting and the vote of support. Have a great weekend.

      Alicia, I appreciate your words and support. I hope parents can use the information on here at home. Take are and be safe out there.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is another very useful hub, teaches. Thank you for sharing your experience and your in-depth knowledge of how to teach young children. Your hubs on this topic are very valuable for anyone who is involved with children.

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 5 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      The topic on how to respond to a secret struck me today. What a beautiful way of putting it. This is a very helpful hub with lots of things to learn from for parents, family and educators alike. Voted up!

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Rahul, I apprecite your add on to the hub, "children are delcate from the mind",this is a key factor in moding their character and building skills. Caution is needed in handling these issues. Thanks for coming over and helping to promote the topic. Blessings.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Thanks, Rtalloni, you are such a great inspiration to me and I appreciate your comments here. Have a great day, my friend.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Rebecca, it is the bullies that take advantage of others and tell them not to tell or they will get in trouble. This causes anxiety and stress on the one being bullied. So encourage them to tell because the will not get in trouble, it helps relieve the burden of carrying a secret. Your wisdom in this article will help to enlighten other's understanding of the topic. Be safe and well!

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Drbj, good job in not sharing with others... you are trustworthy! I would rather people not share secrets with me at times, truth sometimes hurts. You are a great visitor on the hubs and I always appreciate your coming by. Be safe and well.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Anginwu, it is really a good sign of trust when they confide in you as an adult. Keep that open mind an heart! Thanks for stopping in and you have a great day.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      B. Malin, it shows that you have done a great job in helping your kids to openly share, and now your grandchildren are also benefiting from your wise counsil. Good job! Yes, it's sometimes hard to decide whether to cry or laugh, but the trust is most important. I appreciate your visit and look forward to our next. Take care and be safe out there.

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 5 years ago from Florida

      You are so wise to the ways of children! There are times when children must be encouraged to tell "secrets", and I think they will if they are approached correctly. I voted this UP, etc.

    • profile image

      Sara 5 years ago

    • rahul0324 profile image

      Jessee R 5 years ago from Gurgaon, India

      A must read hub really! one must respond naturally to a child!

      Your hub outlines very important factors one must consider while conferring a response!

      Children are delicate from the mind.. the way parents and other elders react to them.. affects and shapes their minds to a large extent! One must be cautious!

      Great hub Ma'am

    • RTalloni profile image

      RTalloni 5 years ago from the short journey

      An important post here! Parents and grandparents will benefit from this information--so glad to see it posted. Thanks for your work on behalf of families!

    • rebeccamealey profile image

      Rebecca Mealey 5 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

      This is a very important concept. The way we appear to young children and the things we do are so influential on them . This advice could stop a budding bully if we teach them not to do "bad secrets". Thanks!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      This is very interesting information about sharing or keeping secrets, teaches. Thanks for all this enlightenment. I have a problem, though. No one ever tells me secrets. I think it's because I don't share them with anyone else. ???

    • anglnwu profile image

      anglnwu 5 years ago

      I've often seen how little kids like to whisper into each other's ears. Very informative and enlightening as well. I always feel honored when little ones share secrets with me. Thanks for sharing .

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      Wonderful Hub Teaches12345 that I could certainly relate to having 2 granddaughters. My kids were pretty opened, and told me a lot when they were growing up...and now my granddaughters are confiding. Sometimes it's good stuff and sometimes, it gives me a pause...But the trust is there.

      Very useful Info. Thanks for sharing.

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Thanks Teaches. I really needed to hear such a nice compliment today. You take care as well my friend.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Hi Christy! I am glad you stopped by as you always have great adds to the hubs... thanks for your vote and support. Have a great day.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      DFiduccia, I have also seen adults violate someone's personal shared secret. The damage sometimes leaves deep scars. Thanks for your added insight to the topic..I always appreciate the feedback. Be well and safe.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Hello Michele, you are right on! That is why we must tell them they will not get in trouble for sharing.. when others may tell them they will get in trouble if they tell. Thank you for your added wisdom here. Blessings my friend!

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Alissa, I appreciate your coming over to visit and for leaving such a positive comment on the topic. I always look forward to your visits! Take care and be well.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Billybuc, (AKA, Bill): You are such a great friend and follower. I am honored by your taking time to read this hub. Enjoyed your video, by the way.. also shared. Thanks for the visit and for your support. Blessings.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Hey, Ann. I was also a younger of eight and as you mentioned, our having to remain silent was actually a way of learning. Thanks for your added contribution to the hub. Enjoy your day.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      You are so right, Kelley. Some secrets may knock our socks off inside, but we have to remain calm outwardly. Great add on to the hub! Thanks for your support and encouragement. Have a great day.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Sofs, your comments always come at a great time for me, needed to hear they were meaningful to others. I appreciate your sweet visit and thank you for stopping by. Be well and safe.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Dorothy, thank you for the added support to the topic. Yes, for those who may need this in the future, I hope it helps to make the discussion easier. Take care.. buckle up out there!

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Vellur, secrets are meant to be kept and should only be shared with a trusted mentor or friend. It is tough to open up a part of your life that may be exposed to harm and pain. Hopefully, if children learn this early, it will make it easier to share. Thanks for your added insight. Always a pleasure to see you!

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      The hand puppet is a great suggestion. You really do offer tidbits of wisdom in your hubs. Thank-you. I vote up.

    • DFiduccia profile image

      DFiduccia 5 years ago from Las Vegas

      …a good hub. Keeping a secret is an important skill for children to learn. We often see adults betray the trust of a friend, simply because they never learned the value of keeping a secret, as a child.

      Up—DF

    • Michele Travis profile image

      Michele Travis 5 years ago from U.S.A. Ohio

      This is a very important hub. If a child has been harmed in any way at all and has been told to keep it secret, then this hub can help parents learn how to help their children tell them the 'secret'. Voted up all across the board. Well, except for funny.

    • alissaroberts profile image

      Alissa Roberts 5 years ago from Normandy, TN

      Another fantastic hub! Your chart about adult reactions and child responses to a secret being shared is spot on and something that every parent should read. I love the puppet game and role playing ideas too! Great job with this one - voted up and sharing via twitter!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I had time for one hub this morning and with no hesitation yours was the one I chose. Excellent subject to write about and fantastic tips on dealing with kids. What a wealth of knowledge you possess! Parents.....pay attention to this hub!

    • profile image

      ann davis 5 years ago

      Teaches, you are skilled in child behavior. Good advice for all of us. Like Cleaner3, I was the youngest of a large family. That means we don't get a chance to talk much, and we listen and observe. I've learned many good lessons by observing my older siblings.

      always votes for you.

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      kelleyward 5 years ago

      Hi Teaches12345, I think this is a very important idea for a hub! My children aren't to this stage yet but when they get there your thoughts on this will help. I especially like the chart and agree that it's best not to look taken back by what kids say so they won't overreact! Well-written article voted up and pinned! Take care, Kelley!

    • sofs profile image

      sofs 5 years ago

      This is such a lovely hub..I do not know if I have read something like this before..the little things to which we hardly pay any attention and yet they are so important to the child.. I am glad that you write these thought provoking hubs.. Thank you. Have a lovely day!

    • buckleupdorothy profile image

      buckleupdorothy 5 years ago from Istanbul, Turkey

      You make an important distinction here that I think often gets overlooked. I'm not usually dealing with younger children, but if ever I am, I will be sure to recall piece. Thank you!

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      Nithya Venkat 5 years ago from Dubai

      Secrets are meant to be kept. You are so right they must tell a secret to a person whom they trust. I loved the games to tell secrets. You make it sound so easy, in reality it is way too tough. Love your ideas and suggestions.Voted up as usual and enjoyed reading.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Cleaner3, how pleasant a surprise to have you visit today! You made me chuckle with your being the youngest but still in control of the family secrets. You were wise even at such a young age! Thanks for stopping by and for leaving such a great comment. Take care.

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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Coffee, I so appreciate your added insight and response to this hub topic. You are so right, adults still fear sharing secrets and often suffer internally as a result. I am glad that you are working with your teen on this subject, it will help her as she continues to build relationships with you and others. Thanks for sharing with others and for your valuable visit here.

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      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      Great hub teaches, you do know children very well and it shows. I grew up without a father and my mother and brothers were my role models. family love was what really got us through and we usually had no secrets between us . but being the youngest of 12 children I knew everybodys suppos ed secrets because i was a good listener, but always kept my mouth shut.

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      Marites Mabugat-Simbajon 5 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

      This is really an important subject about "Secrets", "Being secretive to secrets" and "How secrets can be shared." We as adult still even fear keeping a secret if it is something really bad, ugly, hurtful, shameful, dark and devastating. My kids are young girls now and I encourage them especially my 16 yr old to not keep secrets away from mommy. I want her to feel that I will be there for her especially in situations that could hurt her for example: young love, friends in school, teacher-student misunderstandings, school grades, hatred and fights with sibling or even on conflicts with either parents.

      Your "How To Respond To A Secret" teaches it all what we adults should do and how to act on secrets our children are holding. Lending an open ear, open heart and open arms to our kids who are ready to tell us something they want us to know about, that has been making them uncomfortable, is just the right thing for parents to do.

      I am sharing this helpful hub, Teaches12345. I have friends who have little kids and hopefully, it doesn't stop only when they're still growing for we need our children to be honest with us all the way. Voted useful. Thank you and take care!

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Thanks Skarlet for coming over to read the hub (also love that your are first today!). Well, it takes some practice but helping kids learn to tell secrets is valuable. thanks for your kind comment and support. Be well and safe.

    • Skarlet profile image

      Skarlet 5 years ago from California

      Voted up.

      What a cute hub. You write about children and emotions so well. Grandma is smart.